Absit invidia
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Thread: How do you know there is no God ?
In the Humour section.
Well done, johncar54........este dia seņor, usted es numero uno.
Attachment 4554
It says "In God we trust" on the US note and "Charles Darwin" on the UK note.
Catholic priest on a mission to convert as many as he can to Christianity meets an Eskimo and explains Jesus christ to him:
Eskimo: "If I did not know about God and sin, would I go to hell?"
Priest: "No, not if you did not know."
Eskimo: "Then why the hell did you tell me?"
Did you hear about the time, Jesus was with the woman at the well, who had been accused of adultery, and the people wanted to stone her. Jesus said Let him who is without sin, cast the first stone. A rock came hurling over the crowd and Jesus turned and said. Motherrrrr!
Seems God was just about done creating the universe, but he had two extra things left in his bag of creations, so he decided to split them between Adam and Eve.
He told the couple that one of the things he had to give away was the ability to stand up while urinating. "It's a very handy thing," God told the couple, who he found hanging around under an apple tree.
"I was wondering if either one of you wanted that ability."
Adam jumped up and blurted, "Oh, give that to me! When I'm working in the garden or naming the animals, I could just stand there and let it fly. It'd be so cool I could write my name in the sand. Oh, please God, let it be me who you give that gift to, let me stand and pee, oh please."
On and on he went like an excited little boy who had to pee. Eve just smiled and told God that if Adam really wanted that so badly he could have it. It seemed to be the sort of thing that would make him happy, and she really wouldn't mind if Adam was the one given this ability.
And so Adam was given the ability to control the direction of his urination while in a vertical position. And lo, he was happy and did celebrate by wetting down the bark on the tree nearest him, laughing with delight all the while. And it was good.
"Fine", God said, looking back into his bag of leftover gifts. "What's left here? Oh yes, multiple orgasms."
Keith - Administrator
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