X-Factor

Cheryl, Simon and Louis are out for a stroll when Cheryl slips and her head gets stuck in some railings.

Quick as a flash Simon has his big pants down, Cheryl's skirt up and is banging away.

After a lifetime personal best of 35 seconds Simon lets out a mighty roar at the vinegar stroke, he climbs off and turns to Louis - "your turn Louis".

Louis starts to cry, Simon asks him "what the ****'s wrong with you"

Louis replies - "I can't get my head in the railings"