Is it hopeless?

[fred]

the problem is the father is supporting them and has regular contact with them, last thing the embassy want is to take children away from a parent who still has contact or be pig in the middle btw 2 parents fighting over the children.

from what you said i doubt he will want his kids to leave the phils

Have to agree with you Joe..If the guy had absolutely no money or interest in his kids he probably could be paid to sign anything.. In this case he will most likely fight to the death for them..(If only because of his Filipino pride)
If he is as contacted as Mark says then he can make just about anything happen..
Sounds like a very complicated arrangement and yet quite common here..
There are many women that get married to foreigners and leave their kids in the P.I.. to support them from foreign lands but in this case who could she leave them with even if she was prepared to do that?
Also Mark...Be careful if you fly back to see this girl and her kids again..This guy could be a real danger to your health if he were to find out or have prior knowledge of your arrival..

[Arthur Little]

There are many women that get married to foreigners and leave their kids in the P.I.. to support them from foreign lands but in this case who could she leave them with even if she was prepared to do that?

Personally ... I find it hard to understand how any woman can even contemplate leaving her kids to go off and live in a foreign land ... often with someone she barely knows!

[fred]

Personally ... I find it hard to understand how any woman can even contemplate leaving her kids to go off and live in a foreign land ... often with someone she barely knows!

Yes Arthur..
Its often beyond our comprehension being from a European culture with benefit systems in place..
Here in the Philippines and other 3rd world countries like it, its normally a case of needs must..
Its that simple.
Still hard to grasp I understand that, but until we walk a mile in their broken slippers we will never really know for sure..
I have a strong feeling however that it is usually for the kids sake and their immediate and long term futures..
If you think about the millions of OFW`s working abroad often leaving their kids entrusted to family behind for years on end you may begin to realise that there really must be a valid reason for this kind of sacrifice.

[Arthur Little]

Yes Arthur..
Its often beyond our comprehension being from a European culture with benefit systems in place..
Here in the Philippines and other 3rd world countries like it, its normally a case of needs must..
Its that simple.
Still hard to grasp I understand that, but until we walk a mile in their broken slippers we will never really know for sure..
I have a strong feeling however that it is usually for the kids sake and their immediate and long term futures..
If you think about the millions of OFW`s working abroad often leaving their kids entrusted to family behind for years on end you may begin to realise that there really must be a valid reason for this kind of sacrifice.

... guess so! Doesn't make for "happy families", though, does it!?

[gWaPito]

I agree with you, Arthur (post 19). It really does beggers belief on how they do that. Im still trying to get my head around our culture differences, im improving has time goes by. Umm another Stones song. I was a child from the 60's I had with 5 siblings with a Mother and Father all living under the same roof. We as a family back then, were poor as church mice. I remember wearing shoes with holes (foot ball) as well as trousers jumpers etc. The only time we got other clothing was when it was handed down. We were happy! What a great childhood we had. No money but, a family unit. When I got married, i didnt want the same for my kids, i wanted them to have the material things i never had. Stupidly I thought the family unit thing was always going to be there. How wrong was I. Yes, my kids wanted for nothing as material things go but, Dad was never there. Always working to provide 'a better life' WRONG !. I missed there childhood, they had an absent Dad. You tell me that was right and correct ? Ok, you cant compare the situation between the Philippines and uk not even 60's uk. But, a parent is still a parent no matter what part of the world we are from, we still hurt. I will not be a martyr anymore.