Any embarrassing moments whilst in the Philippines?

[Sim11UK]

On my first trip (pun intended) to visit Ladybug, she was just finishing her Caregiving course, so in my first week, she was required to work in the local hospital, for a few days, it was ok, as she was always finished by late afternoon.

At a loose end, I often went for a little wander around Cagayan de Oro, on my own. Headed off in the direction of McArthur Park, which wasn't far from where I was staying at the VIP Hotel.
I was wearing a pair of cheap sunglasses, that magnified everything. The road I crossed, had been dug up, I tripped over the kerb, went flying into & knocking over a barbecue stand, (thankfully unlit) right in front of a group of giggling schoolgirls & probably several full jeepneys. (stupid foreigner)

...If you were hoping for something scandalous, then I'm sorry to disappoint, but I felt a right plonker, at the time & I got a lovely bruise on my hip.

Anyone else done anything embarrassing...anything at all?

[Steve.r]

I was out with my mahal, her uncle, aunt and daughter and her girlfriend as we all rode our motorbikes to the coast. After a while, I really started to need to have a number one, but you know what it is like, no public toilets, every 50 yards there is someone sat or walking, not much in the way of privicy. My mahal said, 'just go anywhere, its no problem' Well, being a bit shy about that sort of thing, I said, 'no, its ok, I can wait' Later as my bowel started to be irritated by the bumpy roads, I was frantically looking for a place to go. Suddenly there was no trees, just open palay fields, well, being so desperate, I found a small tree and hid as best I could to have a leak.
I guess it is second nature for a local to do that, but when everyone stops to wait for you, it is a little embarrassing.


Another time was when I went to get my fili driving licence. I was made to sit in the classroom with all the locals and listen to the instructor teach the whole class and me in tagalog. We were preparing for the examination at the end of the session. Of course, I didn't understand a word, only words like traffic lights etc. When the exam papers were given out for each student, I just sat there like a lemon, twiddling my thumbs. After about 20 minutes, the instructor asked me to the front of the class and gave me my exam paper. He whispered in my ear, 'just tick the boxes that I have marked, you will pass' he told me. lol Guess who got 100% that day ha ha ha.

[Arthur Little]

Anyone else done anything embarrassing...anything at all?

... well ... you did say "anything at all" - so here goes:

Back in August, I went to a funeral [locally]. Trouble was ... it happened to be the wrong person's funeral! And the bloke I'd thought had died wasn't dead after all! But unfortunately, it was too late [pun also intended!] for me to do anything about my predicament. You may even recall reading the thread I put on here at the time; it was entitled 'Whose Funeral?'

[RickyR]

A few weeks back we went to a remote beach in the province, and met up with extended family who cooked us food on the beach. Well I have a very very sensitive stomach, so after about an hour I suddenly had the urge for the toilet.
When I found a toilet, I discovered that it was just a hole in the floor, and I had to squat. It was one of my worst nightmares, a very traumatic experience. When my missus came to find me, she found me covered in sweat and very uncomfortable, I told her to pack the car and get everyone inside ready to go to the nearest civilisation! I got back in the car and sat in silence, with the kids sat in the back stunned still dripping wet in their swimming costumes!

[Sim11UK]

... well ... you did say "anything at all" - so here goes:

Back in August, I went to a funeral [locally]. Trouble was ... it happened to be the wrong person's funeral! And the bloke I'd thought had died wasn't dead after all! But unfortunately, it was too late [pun also intended!] for me to do anything about my predicament. You may even recall reading the thread I put on here at the time; it was entitled 'Whose Funeral?'

Yes I remember that well Arthur

[Englishman2010]

A few weeks back we went to a remote beach in the province, and met up with extended family who cooked us food on the beach. Well I have a very very sensitive stomach, so after about an hour I suddenly had the urge for the toilet.
When I found a toilet, I discovered that it was just a hole in the floor, and I had to squat. It was one of my worst nightmares, a very traumatic experience. When my missus came to find me, she found me covered in sweat and very uncomfortable, I told her to pack the car and get everyone inside ready to go to the nearest civilisation! I got back in the car and sat in silence, with the kids sat in the back stunned still dripping wet in their swimming costumes!

Us westerners seem to get very embarrassed regarding our toilet habits, it's one of those things that we do in quiet and privacy and it's not really talked about. On my travels around Asia, I've noticed that no one really cares about it, I've seen people squatting by the side of the road facing the traffic while crowded buses go by, people squatting on the beach just by the sea, and non one seems to care about flatulence or belching. These are natural bodily functions whicxh everyone has to do, maybe we make too much about it in the west Having said that, I still like the comfort of my locked bathroom when nature calls

[Steve.r]

Us westerners seem to get very embarrassed regarding our toilet habits, it's one of those things that we do in quiet and privacy and it's not really talked about. Having said that, I still like the comfort of my locked bathroom when nature calls

Yes, our toilet functions are normally kept private, that said, I often talk to my mahal whilst on the bog and vice versa. Even, may I add when we are together, I guess she loves me farts 'n' all.

[Englishman2010]

Yes, our toilet functions are normally kept private, that said, I often talk to my mahal whilst on the bog and vice versa. Even, may I add when we are together, I guess she loves me farts 'n' all.

She must really love you Steve

[Steve.r]

She must really love you Steve

[mickcant]

Yes, our toilet functions are normally kept private, that said, I often talk to my mahal whilst on the bog and vice versa. Even, may I add when we are together, I guess she loves me farts 'n' all.

Ypu cpuld have "His and Her” toilet pans so you can be together
Mick.

[aposhark]

I hope you don't mind my story not coming from the Philippines but it is a traveller's story, so perhaps you will forgive the inclusion here.
About 20 years ago, I was working as an electronics technician in Sierra Leone, West Africa.
I had to maintain radio beacons offshore and this entailed flying out to oil-rigs and oil platforms every few days by helicopter.
Check all batteries were fully charged, all cables were in good order, make sure the offshore vessels could keep knowing their positions at sea.
The mostly Britisth men in the oil camp were working daily shifts as mechanics, electricians, cooks and many other usual types of work.
I used to have all day to myself, getting paid a lot, just to pass the time in any way I could. A life of Riley.

One day I decided to take a walk down to the beach, which was always deserted, for a long walk.
I decided to go nude as I had never done this before and in front of me was a pristine beach of many miles ahead.
I decided to leave my shorts by the side of the sand in a little undergrowth, marked with some stones grouped together - a tip I picked up from my days in various deserts.
Anyway, I walked starkers for an hour out and an hour back. So relaxing.
There wasn't a sole on the beach all that time, I spent a lot of time walking with my eyes closed, knowing there was nothing to bump into.
Just to be on the safe side when I got back to my shorts, I threw them into the sea to wash them.
When the shorts hit the sea they bobbed about for a while and as I dived in the shorts disappeared
I kept seeing them surfacing and as I dived in many times, the currents took them somewhere else.
So, finally giving up the ghost, I stood there with no shorts on thinking of my next course of action; make a grass skirt, find many large leaves to bind together. Usual Robinson Crusoe stuff

I started walking back along the beach towards the camp looking for a solution.
Lo and behold, there was another pair of shorts lying on the sand, all firmly crusted up with salt crystals.
I just laughed out loud, people wouldn't believe what solutions to problems appear when you least expect them to.
So I took the newly found shorts down to the sea and this time firmly gripping them, I washed them in the sea. I popped them on and "voila" a pefect fit. Knock me down with a feather
I walked back to the camp, went to my room, had a shower, relaxed and waited for the evening meal.
I retold this story to the "lads" and we all had a good laugh over a few beers.

The following day I went out on the choppers, did the job and returned from the oil field for the evening meal again.
Whilst tucking into a fine meal, "Bob" came in and was talking to one of his mates at the next table.
"Bloody hell, you remember that trainee mechanic M'bobo, the one who helped me all last year? Poor bugger is in hospital with a pain in one of his nuts. I visited him as his wife came and told me about the state he was in. I'll pop back tomorrow, see how he is."
The following night came after another day spent lounging about on my behalf. Life is good."
Back in the canteen, a bloke asks "How's M'bobo, Bob. Any improvement?" Bob replied "Oh jeez, poor sod's in a bad way, his testicle has grown to the size of a small football, they don't know what has caused it but someone saw him putting on a crusty pair of overalls he found in the yard. Seems like there's a small bug that lives in old thrown away clothes".
Well obviously a broken sleep was my night's turmoil whilst checking out my itlogs for any signs of enlargement.

Two days later back in the canteen, Bob: "Well lads, that's it for M'bobo. He has had the local witch doctor at his bedside all night, nowt the doctors at the hospital can do now".
A completely sleepless night ensued back in my room. No sign of any growth in my itlogs yet though!

Next day, Bob: "That's it M'bobo has died, his ball turned black and they had to cut it off to try to save him but no luck. I've left some money with his wife, such a shame, such a sad story".
By this time I am in a really bad way, no sleep for days or nights, terrible thoughts of my imminent demise.

A day or two later, the job ended. I didn't have to demobilise all the offshore equipment, just complete my job daily log ready for the client, book a flight and pack my clothes.
As I was about to leave, a bloke came to see me in my room. A nice fella, we had jogged together a week or so earlier.
"Hello mate, just thought i'd let you know that M'bobo story was all 'cock and bull'. I was offshore and heard all about it today when I flew in. Seems all the fellas were jealous of you relaxing all the time as they went to work. Relax, enjoy your leave and put it down to experience."

I sat there for a few minutes, muttered £&^%£"*, picked up my bags, glad for closure and headed off for the airport.
Another job completed, now back to the cold weather.

[Steve.r]

great story

I hope you don't mind my story not coming from the Philippines but it is a traveller's story, so perhaps you will forgive the inclusion here.
About 20 years ago, I was working as an electronics technician in Sierra Leone, West Africa.
I had to maintain radio beacons offshore and this entailed flying out to oil-rigs and oil platforms every few days by helicopter.
Check all batteries were fully charged, all cables were in good order, make sure the offshore vessels could keep knowing their positions at sea.
The mostly Britisth men in the oil camp were working daily shifts as mechanics, electricians, cooks and many other usual types of work.
I used to have all day to myself, getting paid a lot, just to pass the time in any way I could. A life of Riley.

One day I decided to take a walk down to the beach, which was always deserted, for a long walk.
I decided to go nude as I had never done this before and in front of me was a pristine beach of many miles ahead.
I decided to leave my shorts by the side of the sand in a little undergrowth, marked with some stones grouped together - a tip I picked up from my days in various deserts.
Anyway, I walked starkers for an hour out and an hour back. So relaxing.
There wasn't a sole on the beach all that time, I spent a lot of time walking with my eyes closed, knowing there was nothing to bump into.
Just to be on the safe side when I got back to my shorts, I threw them into the sea to wash them.
When the shorts hit the sea they bobbed about for a while and as I dived in the shorts disappeared
I kept seeing them surfacing and as I dived in many times, the currents took them somewhere else.
So, finally giving up the ghost, I stood there with no shorts on thinking of my next course of action; make a grass skirt, find many large leaves to bind together. Usual Robinson Crusoe stuff

I started walking back along the beach towards the camp looking for a solution.
Lo and behold, there was another pair of shorts lying on the sand, all firmly crusted up with salt crystals.
I just laughed out loud, people wouldn't believe what solutions to problems appear when you least expect them to.
So I took the newly found shorts down to the sea and this time firmly gripping them, I washed them in the sea. I popped them on and "voila" a pefect fit. Knock me down with a feather
I walked back to the camp, went to my room, had a shower, relaxed and waited for the evening meal.
I retold this story to the "lads" and we all had a good laugh over a few beers.

The following day I went out on the choppers, did the job and returned from the oil field for the evening meal again.
Whilst tucking into a fine meal, "Bob" came in and was talking to one of his mates at the next table.
"Bloody hell, you remember that trainee mechanic M'bobo, the one who helped me all last year? Poor bugger is in hospital with a pain in one of his nuts. I visited him as his wife came and told me about the state he was in. I'll pop back tomorrow, see how he is."
The following night came after another day spent lounging about on my behalf. Life is good."
Back in the canteen, a bloke asks "How's M'bobo, Bob. Any improvement?" Bob replied "Oh jeez, poor sod's in a bad way, his testicle has grown to the size of a small football, they don't know what has caused it but someone saw him putting on a crusty pair of overalls he found in the yard. Seems like there's a small bug that lives in old thrown away clothes".
Well obviously a broken sleep was my night's turmoil whilst checking out my itlogs for any signs of enlargement.

Two days later back in the canteen, Bob: "Well lads, that's it for M'bobo. He has had the local witch doctor at his bedside all night, nowt the doctors at the hospital can do now".
A completely sleepless night ensued back in my room. No sign of any growth in my itlogs yet though!

Next day, Bob: "That's it M'bobo has died, his ball turned black and they had to cut it off to try to save him but no luck. I've left some money with his wife, such a shame, such a sad story".
By this time I am in a really bad way, no sleep for days or nights, terrible thoughts of my imminent demise.

A day or two later, the job ended. I didn't have to demobilise all the offshore equipment, just complete my job daily log ready for the client, book a flight and pack my clothes.
As I was about to leave, a bloke came to see me in my room. A nice fella, we had jogged together a week or so earlier.
"Hello mate, just thought i'd let you know that M'bobo story was all 'cock and bull'. I was offshore and heard all about it today when I flew in. Seems all the fellas were jealous of you relaxing all the time as they went to work. Relax, enjoy your leave and put it down to experience."

I sat there for a few minutes, muttered £&^%£"*, picked up my bags, glad for closure and headed off for the airport.
Another job completed, now back to the cold weather.

[stevewool]

well mine was in Manila, and after walking around Rizal park and so on the loo started to call me, where shall i go i thought, wow the national art gallery is just there , and off we went , starting to walk a little faster , and in we poped , paid the fee and where are the loos i asked , had to be a clean place i thought , undoing my belt while walking well trotting i was into the door zip down into the loo about turn and sit , wow just made it funny how you just make it aint it, anyway after a few minutes off wipping the sweat off my brow and thinking this is a nice toilet i turned round to look for the paper and there was none , i forgot to bring some out, What do i do now i thought well there were 2 loos so might be some in there, so doing the stupid walk into the other loo and finding no paper there,i had to use water and my hand , fingers and what ever i could find,the first time you do that you dont know what your bum feels like even where your bum crack is, what a scene i must have looked, anyway after trying to clean my bum with the water from the toilet bowl i went over to the sinks to wash and yes you have guess , no bloody soap my god i thought and whats the first thing you do, smell your fingers , so funny but my bum was clean a little wet and my fingers sort off stayed in the pockets till we got back to the hotel, from that day always took soap and paper with me but funny thing is i never used them again

[Englishman2010]

Great stories Apo and Steve

Filipino toilets are not the best in the world, even in places where you think they might be clean they are often lacking in basics such as toilet paper and soap. It often makes me wonder how clean peoples hands are, like the person you've just been introduced to and shook hands with, or worse still the chef who has just cooked you that nice meal Just remember never to eat any peanuts or other savoury snacks on the bar in hotels and bars

[alanmf1]

yikes: Just remember never to eat any peanuts or other savoury snacks on the bar in hotels and bars[/QUOTE]


Or Yellow Snow!..........

[Steve.r]

I remember being new in Saudi Arabia and being asked to eat with the Saudi guards in our hanger. There we all are sat on the floor with a big tray of rice and goat in front of us. Of course, no knives,forks or spoons. Everyone started reaching in to grab some food, so here goes... I lunge in with my left hand and everyone goes Yep, the left hand is the 'dirty hand' used for all their washing of secret places!!!! Being left handed anyway I saw no problem, needless to say, I wasn't asked again or a while

[grahamw48]

Very posh bogs in the ex's little town in Bicol.

Attachment 4650

[RickyR]

Some good stories! Feel less embarrased about my own now!

[joebloggs]

well one of mine springs to mind, i think it was in TGI's in Makati, we were sat there with a table full of drinks and food, and i went to pick the ketchup up from the middle of the table, but clipped the bottm of the ketchup bottle on the top of a glass full of coke , it went all over my lap and table , many staff appeared out of nowhere to clean the mess up, and one said there was a hand dryer in the toilets, so as fast as i could i to toliets and got as close as i could to the dryer and tried to direct the warm air a number of filipinos walked in and gave me some funny looks as i was trying to dry my jeans , the scene was like out of Mr Bean, and after 20 mins or so i walked back to the table, then had to walk around Makati with wet patches on the crotch of my jeans

[Jenky]

On one of my early trips to visit my wife parents in Bicol her grandmother passed away while we were there. So we ended up staying for the wake, funeral etc. On the night of the wake the party was in full flow around the white box containing her grandmothers body, when the local priest began some kind of service. He said a few prayers. We all said a few prayers, and then he blessed a vessel full of holy water which was passed between us guests to sprinkle upon the white box! My turn was third I think, and unfortunately I sprinkled a little to hard causing the top to come off and about one litre of holy water to gush all over the white box and the priest!
The adults in the room looked horrified and the kids tried their best to control their laughter. I just passed the now empty vessel of holy water back to the priest for him to refil it, trying to look very serious but inside trying my best not to burst out laughing!

[fred]

I admit..I did overload my shopping trolley last week (a bit) and queued up at the checkout..30 mins later it was my turn and the ***** closed the check out and asked me to go to the next till (had at least 10 queuing).. I think I might have shoved the trolley a bit too hard towards the neighbouring queue causing it too tip over spilling the contents of the trolley on the floor..
Those tomato ketchup bottles.. They make the shiny white ceramic tiles far more interesting in my view and the jar of bagoong did add a bizarre texture..
I ended up doing my shopping the following day after making a quick exit.

[mickcant]

I admit..I did overload my shopping trolley last week (a bit) and queued up at the checkout..30 mins later it was my turn and the ***** closed the check out and asked me to go to the next till (had at least 10 queuing).. I think I might have shoved the trolley a bit too hard towards the neighbouring queue causing it too tip over spilling the contents of the trolley on the floor..
Those tomato ketchup bottles.. They make the shiny white ceramic tiles far more interesting in my view and the jar of bagoong did add a bizarre texture..
I ended up doing my shopping the following day after making a quick exit.

Good one Fred
How long before you can go back there
Mick.

[Sim11UK]

Great stories keep 'em coming, plenty of red face situations.
I should have known toilet incidents, would be top of the list.
Had a similar experience like you stevewool...no bog paper When you gotta go, you gotta go!...Let's just say I could have done with some extra hands.

[Tawi2]

Walang hiya so its not an embarrassing tale but I did get quite a start,I was in a mall looking at electronic goods,I was a kid innocent as to the whiles of mature ladies,at the time I even thought a cougar was a large feline and a MILF was a terrorist group from Mindanao.A woman passed,sex on legs,she looked like she had been poured into her bleached denims,incredible figure and hair,she was uber hot,a genuine head turner and I am sure I wasnt the only male staring at her
She turned slightly,caught my eye and gave a smileI think I mumbled something totally inapropriate such as a weak "Hi" but it was enough to initiate a conversation
She was a businesswoman,had a car,and offered to take me back to the resort I was staying,en-route we chatted easily,it was comfortable,and she asked would it be ok if we stopped off at her home.She introduced me to her aunt as a business colleague from europe,the house was decent,I remember thinking she had a few quid.
Next morning I was woken at the resort by a knock,one of the maids telling me there was a visitor at reception for me.............It was her "Would I like to go to breakfast?"she offered to cook for me at her home,I remember trying to figure out what her angle was,after all she had a good 10-15 years on me
After breakfast she made her move pretty quickly,I remember that much,and the inevitable happenedI lay there afterwards thinking "That was surreal"and saw a picture turned face-down on the bedside cabinet,I flipped it over,my new found friend in a warm embrace with a pinoy guy It was her husband,he was working as an engineer in the middle-east,the info gave me a little bit of a start

[fred]

Im not usually one for toilet humour at all but just wondering how anyone going to a shopping mall CR manages to answer the question asked by the "CR" attendant (that obviously makes commission by selling toilet tissue on the way in)
How much will you need?

[fred]

Good one Fred
How long before you can go back there
Mick.

Well Mick.. Im only here for Christmas so I ended up sending the Mrs nalang!!
She doesnt mind as she loves doing it anyway..(Shopping that is)

[Jamesey]

I've had quite a few, but the worst one was probably when I celebrated my 24th birthday in Manila.

We were doing "funnels" of beer, but unbeknown to me, my "mates" had laced mine with shots of tequila and pepper sauce! It went down, but came up again 5 minutes later in the gutter outside of the bar!!! I was lying on the floor feeling awful and they were all standing around eating fish balls and laughing at the puking kano!

[laurel]

Ok , i'll share a secret with you that had the potential to be embarrasing ......................my first trip to the Phils , just over half way thru the visit i got a severe case of the 'trots'..................didnt even feel ill , just couldnt keep anything in.
It got so bad that I spent one complete day wearing some of my gf's sanitary towels......i darent cough it was that bad

[joebloggs]

It got so bad that I spent one complete day wearing some of my gf's sanitary towels......i darent cough it was that bad

good job you didnt need to goto hospital, you would have got some strange looks

it reminds me, my misses and some other hospital staff treated a local gangster for stab wounds on his legs and stomach, he didnt want to take his jeans off, but they had to cut them off, no wonder, he was wearing pink thrilly knickers , everyone had to go out of the room to

[laurel]

[QUOTE=joebloggs;264058]good job you didnt need to goto hospital, you would have got some strange looks