I was in a shop and a man was throwing milk cheese and yogurt at me
I thought how dairy!!
I was in a shop and a man was throwing milk cheese and yogurt at me
I thought how dairy!!
Yes he complained his wine tasted off-I said it's just sour grapesOriginally Posted by fred
I got home from work early and found my wife on a porn site. I am going to speak to her about it when she gets home.
Outside every thin girl there's a fat man trying to get in.
Has your wife of girlfriend put on a little weight over
the festive period?
If so, encourage her to walk three miles in the morning
and then three miles again in the evening. By the end of
the week the fat cow will be 42 miles away.
THE EX-GIRLFRIEND STORY...
I got a phone call from a gorgeous ex-girlfriend the other day. We
lost track of time, chatting about the wild nights we used to enjoy
together. I couldn't believe it when she asked if I'd like to meet up
and maybe rekindle a little of that magic.
"Wow!" I said, "I don't know if I could keep pace with you now. I'm
bit older and a bit greyer than when you last saw me."
She giggled and said she was sure I'd meet the challenge!
"Yeah", I said, "just so long as you don't mind a man with a
waistband that's a few inches wider these days."
She laughed and told me to stop being so silly. She teased me, saying
that she thought tubby bald men were cute.
"Anyway, I've put on a couple of pounds myself," she giggled.
........so I told her to **** off.
hahaha.... i almost choked with the rice im eating here while reading this one...hahahahaha... laf out louderrrrrrrrr....
I was driving up the motorway and my boss phoned me and he told me I'd
been promoted. I was so shocked I swerved the car. He phoned me again to
say I'd been promoted even higher and I swerved again. He then made me
managing director and I went right off into a tree. The police came and
asked me what had happened. I said 'I careered off the
road'
Saw my mate outside the Doctor's today looking really worried.
"What's the matter?" I asked.
"I've got the big C,"he said.
"What, cancer?"
"No, dyslexia."
I told my girlfriend I had a job in a bowling alley. She said 'Tenpin?'
I said, 'No, permanent
This lorry full of tortoises collided with a van full of terrapins. It
was a turtle disaster
Q: Why is our British weather like a Muslim?
A: Because it's either Sunni or Shi'ite
An elderly couple were attending a church service.
About half way through, she leans over and says to her husband and says,
"I just let out a silent fart, what do you think I should do?"
He replies, "Put a new battery in your hearing aid."
Friday Afternoon Verses Monday morning.
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