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Thread: Divorce Decree Absolute

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    Trusted Member mickcant's Avatar
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    Divorce Decree Absolute

    Hi all

    My Divorce Decree Absolute was made final on the 7th January 2011, at the County Court.

    I do not see this as a celebration; it makes me very sad that a marriage that I hoped would lead to a fulfilling life together with Jennifer has ended like this.

    The emotional loss hurts me far more than the money she conned from me.

    I know Jennifer was reading my post to the group when I was trying to make our marriage work, I wonder if she will post her comments on events!

    Mick.
    Last edited by mickcant; 12th January 2011 at 18:14. Reason: addition


  2. #2
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    Hi Mick, you're right, it's not cause for celebration. It is, however, a milestone and I may be the first, but not the last, on the forum to wish you all the best for the future. Please take care and look after your own health and wellbeing


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    Trusted Member mickcant's Avatar
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    Thanks Doc Alan,
    Mick.


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    Respected Member dontpushme's Avatar
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    Well, why is this in the celebrations page then?

    I'm really sorry someone did you wrong like that and I can't even imagine what kind of person purposely uses others the way she did. But I hope you can move forward and don't let the past become your emotional baggage. If you do, she wins. She'll have improved her life by using you and you'll have destroyed any chances you have of having something better that you deserve. I wish there were some way we could help but I know this takes time and your determination and strength. The way you've handled things shows how resilient you are, but even resilient people can have baggage if they let things fester.

    I can only imagine your pain, and I would never wish that experience on anyone, but I'm glad your divorce is final. Now the only hold she has on you is emotional. You just have to take things one day at a time (like you've been doing since that whole thing started). And you can rant and rave in the forum if and when you need to.


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    Trusted Member mickcant's Avatar
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    Hi dontpushme,

    I suppose It should be in "Courting & Relationships" but I saw divorce mentioned in the heading!

    I dont think it matters too much, but if a moderator wants to move it they will

    I will move on, the divorce is a ending to somthing bad, life is still worth looking forward to
    Mick


  6. #6
    Respected Member dontpushme's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by mickcant View Post
    Hi dontpushme,
    Hullo!

    Quote Originally Posted by mickcant View Post
    life is still worth looking forward to
    Mick
    Oh, definitely! Someone once told me that if someone hurts you, you should always come back better and stronger just to spite their sorry a$$.

    Denise


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    Quote Originally Posted by mickcant View Post
    ....I will move on, the divorce is a ending to somthing bad, life is still worth looking forward to
    Mick
    Nicely said Mick
    You know my feelings on this. Time will heal and the hurt will fade.


  8. #8
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    Best wishes for the future Mick. Maybe not a celebration, but its a clean slate


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    Well, I'm assuming mine is absolute now.

    I last received forms from the court (didn't attend or contest it) in 2006.

    Where would I get a certificate or whatever ?

    The ex has re-married, so I suppose that means I'm definitely single now.

    So, when are we going out on the pull Mick ?


  10. #10
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    Hi Mick Sorry to read that you are still down beat on this. Like Dont push me said, its in the 'happy' section so, I thought you'd be full of merriment. You got to take the positives from it Mick. Better to find out now rather than many years down the line. It could of been much much worse for you. Try not to dwell. Good luck for the future Mick


  11. #11
    Moderator Arthur Little's Avatar
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    I've already said my piece elsewhere ... suffice to say here, that Mick's news marks the end of a sad and difficult "chapter" in his life ... and I imagine he must be feeling greatly relieved. So in that sense, at least, it IS a cause for celebration.


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    Trusted Member mickcant's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by gWaPito View Post
    Hi Mick Sorry to read that you are still down beat on this. Like Dont push me said, its in the 'happy' section so, I thought you'd be full of merriment. You got to take the positives from it Mick. Better to find out now rather than many years down the line. It could of been much much worse for you. Try not to dwell. Good luck for the future Mick
    As I tried to say I am not celebrating despite being in this section, it was put here as the sub title of the section covers marriage and divorce.

    I _was_ emotionally hurt when Jennifer disappeared after our marriage and _again_ when she eventually arrived here, and I could see she did not even attempt to make the marriage work.

    Then hurt _again_ when I discovered (Jenn did not tell me) I found out that she had conceived and given birth, after our marriage and before arriving here.

    The feeling I have now is that I jumped off a crashing train before the big smash, yes I was hurt but am getting better every day.
    Thanks everyone,
    Mick.


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    Trusted Member mickcant's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by grahamw48 View Post
    Well, I'm assuming mine is absolute now.

    I last received forms from the court (didn't attend or contest it) in 2006.

    Where would I get a certificate or whatever ?

    The ex has re-married, so I suppose that means I'm definitely single now.

    So, when are we going out on the pull Mick ?
    Yes Graham safe to say you are divorced, did the court not send you anything about it being made Decree absolute?

    It would be a long distance pull with how far apart we are
    Mick.


  14. #14
    Respected Member laurel's Avatar
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    Chin up Mick, and move you will know when the time is right to move on .
    Good luck to you


  15. #15
    Member mindanao's Avatar
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    what a relief for you Mick. There could be "hurt" feelings but it will vanish in time.. You are lucky. As always.. truth prevails.
    Last edited by mindanao; 13th January 2011 at 00:57. Reason: spelling


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    Quote Originally Posted by mickcant View Post
    Yes Graham safe to say you are divorced, did the court not send you anything about it being made Decree absolute?

    It would be a long distance pull with how far apart we are
    Mick.
    I don't think she knew my address...even though our boy used to come to me every weekend.

    I used to live closer to you when I was a nipper....a little place called Lovedean, near Waterlooville. (Dad was in the Navy).

    Keep being optimistic anyway old chap...lightning never strikes and all that.


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    Moderator fred's Avatar
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    Hi Mick.. Well done mate..You got there in the end.
    Hopefully when her visa expires she will be absolutely gone!!
    Seems like you have made a lot of really genuine friends since this episode began that will continue to be your friends now that it has ended!!
    Cheers,
    Fred.


  18. #18
    Trusted Member Rosie1958's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by grahamw48 View Post
    Well, I'm assuming mine is absolute now.

    I last received forms from the court (didn't attend or contest it) in 2006.

    Where would I get a certificate or whatever ?
    You should be able to obtain a copy of the Decree Absolute from the County Court


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    Ah thanks Rosie.

    That's what I had assumed.


  20. #20
    Trusted Member Rosie1958's Avatar
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    Hi Mick

    I'm glad that your divorce has now been completed as hopefully the stress and pain associated with it will now begin to subside.

    Take care
    Rosie


  21. #21
    Trusted Member stevewool's Avatar
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    i agree with you mick, but there must have been good times too , so put the bad times at the back of your head , you will never forget them, and think of the good times to come


  22. #22
    Trusted Member sars_notd_virus's Avatar
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    It's a good news Mick!! Good luck on your future happiness!!
    ''Don't be serious..Be Sincere''


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    HI Mick, i do not know of your predicament, but time is a healer and family and friends are needed at times of need,

    But life can be so cruel at times, you just have to pick up the pieces and move on,

    Gary.


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    At last you can put this behind you now Mick, pick up the pieces and begin to rebuild your life. I hope you find the happiness that you truly deserve and can share your life with someone who loves you the way you will love her


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    Hi Mick,
    I'm sorry to hear of what you been through. I'm glad that your divorce has now been completed and you can move on with your life. I just want to ask you how long it takes to get your Divorce Decree Absolute from the time you lodge your application in the County Court? I am researching to help a friend who's fiancee just filed his dissolution of civil partnership last week. She told me that she has been informed by her fiancee that it will take 5-6 months time to finish. I will be please if you can give me some tips and advise about this and if there is a solicitor that can help them to speed up the process. Thanks a lot..

    Chikky


  26. #26
    Trusted Member mickcant's Avatar
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    Hi Chikky,
    I take it you are talking about a divorce in a UK court.

    We married in the Philippines in 2008 and divorced in the UK.

    My divorce was a bit on/off to start with as she decided she wanted to come back to the UK and make our marriage work, but it did not.

    We finally split up in February 2010, I saw a solicitor in early March and he thought it would take 4 months but my ex would not respond to the divorce petition sent to her so after giving her time to respond a second petition was served on her by a court bailiff, which again she did not respond to so it was
    On the 7th January 2011 the Decree Absolute was granted.

    So it took 10 months to complete.

    Giving you tips is not very easy as all divorces are so different.

    If both agree to it then it can be done without a solicitor, simply go to a local; court and pick up a divorce pack and complete it.

    If one partner was in the UK and the other the Philippines and did not want a divorce then it could be very difficult.
    There are others here who know the complexes of divorce much better than me, hopefully they will respond.
    Have you tried searching for “divorce” in the forum?

    All the best,
    Mick.


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    Hi Mick,
    Thank you very much for the information i know my friend will be please about it. In her fiancee's situation the ex civil partner is cooperating with the process as she is not interested anymore. Also, they are been living apart for 3 years and just remain good friends. Both parties are in the UK so i think it will not be too long for them waiting.

    Thanks,
    Chikky


  28. #28
    Respected Member purple's Avatar
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    Hi Mick,

    I understand all these emotional stuff you have been going through... not that I have been divorced before. Life can be tough but like every one said.. a lesson learned.. but most of all there are reasons. It might not be a good one, but I'm sure there is some one out there who is of worth and dignity.
    Life as we make it


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    When children are involved, then it gets truly emotional.

    I would have walked to the end of the earth and back for my son.

    By comparison, the prospect of losing the ex was insignificant.


  30. #30
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    Quote Originally Posted by grahamw48 View Post
    When children are involved, then it gets truly emotional.

    I would have walked to the end of the earth and back for my son.

    By comparison, the prospect of losing the ex was insignificant.

    Very well said and very well done Graham.
    It can certainly become a living nightmare, and it's so easy to become bitter bitter bitter.
    Respect to you mate, and all others with the same heart and determination.


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