Getting my girl to the UK & choices

[unitedkingdom81]

I'm gonna be completely honest here because that's the best way for help.

So I met Ruthie online last year. She was much different than others I spoke to. We started emailing a lot and then eventually are just about 24/7 to each other on Blackberry's instant messenger and occasionally on the phone.

We have both be really up front with our pasts, dreams and incsecurities. And we're definitely in love.

I hope to go and meet her by summer time this year meet herand she wants to start a life in the UK with me. She is good a filipino law and PR.

So can you help advise me? From what I have seen Ruthie can move to the UK for 6 months if we're engaged. But if she moves here on a visitors visa she can't meet anyone for marriage. Is that right? Can anyone help me with our options here? :(

Oh hi by the way. My name's Steve, nice to meet you all.

[stevewool]

hi steve and welcome , and thebest way is to be honest and upfront all your life, have you been to the phils yet to see her or her family steve, or is this summer your first trip.seeing someone and talking to them a great deal of time by phone webcam and so is so differant to seeing someone face to face, and what does her family say about her wanting to be here, and do you mind me asking what is her age too

[unitedkingdom81]

Thanks for the response!

The summer time will be my first time. I'm aware that meeting her in the flesh will be different but I'm quitely confident that once we get past the awkwardness we'll be great.

Her family are happy to have her move aborad as long as she is happy. She was originally planning to go to new york before she met me.

She is 26 and I'm 29.

But everything just seems so confusing like a mountian of spaghetti in finding out what steps we need to go through. I'm sure it's easier than I think but I just really could do with some advice for us you know?

Thanks

[joebloggs]

after you've met her you can apply for a fiancee or spouse visa, but ideally you would want to meet more than once to increase your chances of getting your visa..

[Breakfast]

Hi Steve...

I was in a similar position to you 18 months ago. I finally met my now fiancee Xmas 2009. She did feel a little shy when we first met, but that passed within a few minutes and we were talking like old friends in no time at all.

[Arthur Little]

... yet another Steve! here. Yes, Steve ... you're definitely doing the right thing in planning to go to the Phils to meet Ruthie. I say this because, only once you've met in person, can you really begin to establish whether or not you are ideally matched as a couple. If everything works out according to plan - which, hopefully, it will - you should ensure you build-up as much photographic evidence as possible of the two of you together to present to the British Embassy when it comes to deciding on your next step ... in the event of getting engaged or married, for example.

[stevewool]

yes arthur another steve , lots od good advice steve , lots of pictures together and with her family too, and keep the tickets for the flight and hotel receipts,

[unitedkingdom81]

Great, thanks for the advice guys. You're much friendly that I thought you might be! Forums can usually be nightmares.

So assuming we do get on, get photos and keep receipts etc. What would be next? Would I have to propose to her over there? What would be her options to come over here and live and then me propose here?

Thanks guys
Another Steve

[Tawi2]

She was originally planning to go to new york before she met me.

What sort of visa was she getting for the states steve?

[unitedkingdom81]

She hadn't got that far yet. That was a while off into the future for her.

Our choices just seem so confusing. I can either propose to her there for a fiancee visa or she can get a 6 months visitor visa here and not marry right?

I kind of stood up as the big brave man for Ruthie, saying "leave it to me, I'll find a way". But I just seem to hit nothing really, and came across this forum.

There must be others who were in my situ and didn't propose over there? Maybe, maybe not.

[Sim11UK]

Hello there
Just concentrate on meeting her first...Is there really that much of a rush? Like most here, you're going to have to face periods apart...All part of the process I'm afraid.
Seriously though take your time, get to know each other properly...Many have come unstuck, rushing things.

[grahamw48]

Hi Steve.

As others have suggested; meet her first...and her family.

Don't make any promises or decide anything until after that.

In the meantime read the forums, find out about the Philippines and the culture there, and get used to the idea that bringing a girl over here as a fiancee or spouse can be quite a drawn out and expensive process.

Keep all records of trips you make and take plenty of photos of the two of you together, plus save any conversations on the internet etc, as these will be useful later to prove to the immigration people that it is a genuine relationship. (They are suspicious so and so's).

Good luck !

[unitedkingdom81]

Great thanks for the advice everybody.

I guess I will just get to the first step then.

An expensive process? Great. I look forward to that. I guess it might be easier for her to move over her as a singleton then.

[mike1]

As other members have advised go and meet her first , later on if marrage is on the cards you can either get married out there and apply for a spouse visa or she can apply for a fiancee visa which allows her to come here for six months and get married within that six months .if she applies for a visitors visa thats what it is it is just for the purpose of a visit and can be difficult to get .
Going down that ramp at manila airport is the most nervous bit of it - the 5 minutes before you actually meet but once you meet she will soon make you feel at ease

[unitedkingdom81]

Man, I've been looking all evening and all I seem to find (as I understand it) is that there are two options.

1. Fiance Visa
But she cannot work until we're married

2. Visitor Visa
But she cannot marry whilst here

Do they purposely make it disheartening? Option 1 is just not viable if you aren't rich. How can you support someone else AND save for a wedding within 6 months easily.

If this is what the only viable option is then I really don't know what to do. Meeting her will just make it so much harder if there is so little hope of reaching the finish line.. unless you are rich.

[Terpe]

Great thanks for the advice everybody.

I guess I will just get to the first step then.

An expensive process? Great. I look forward to that. I guess it might be easier for her to move over her as a singleton then.

Plenty of very wise words Steve, from experienced people who have faced the same path.
I too would urge you to take one step at a time.
In terms of which eventual route you may decide to take, there are quite a number of posts here that might help your decision making in choosing your own personal strategy.
As a first step look here:-
http://filipinaroses.com/showthread....ces-i-needed.-

[Englishman2010]

Welcome Steve
As the others have said, please don't let your emotions get the better of you and rush into anything. It's good to be aware of the Immigration and Visa process, but don't get too hung up about it yet, and don't promise anything
First thing, you must go there and meet your mahal, see where she lives, meet her family and friends, get a real feel for what she is like. Even then, you're not really going to get to know her that well on a two week holiday when everything is all lovey dovey and exciting.
I don't want to sound negative, but you're talking about making a commitment for the rest of your life. Would you marry a British girl you'd never met, or had only spent two weeks with?
If your funds allow, try and go to the Phil's 2, 3 or 4 times before you make that commitment. I've just booked up for my 6th and 7th visits in two years to the Phil's, and as much as me and my mahal really do love each other, neither of us wants to get married just yet.
Try to go as often as you can, don't stay in posh hotels, try and stay with her family, live Filipino style and see what she is really like at home. I've really got to know my mahal extremely well this way, because I have seen what she is like at home.
LDR's and the separation can be extremely tough, all of us on here know what it's like, but it's a real test of character and of your relationship. If you can endure 2 or 3 years of living apart, all the emotions and moodswings, depression...etc that go with it, your relationship is far more likely to succeed than if you decide to marry someone you've never met before or have only met once.
Sorry for the long post, it's just the way I see it. Whatever you do, I wish you and your mahal every success for your future

[Terpe]

Man, I've been looking all evening and all I seem to find (as I understand it) is that there are two options.

1. Fiance Visa
But she cannot work until we're married

2. Visitor Visa
But she cannot marry whilst here

Do they purposely make it disheartening? Option 1 is just not viable if you aren't rich. How can you support someone else AND save for a wedding within 6 months easily.

If this is what the only viable option is then I really don't know what to do. Meeting her will just make it so much harder if there is so little hope of reaching the finish line.. unless you are rich.

Steve,
What is it you want to achieve?

What is your understanding of 'rich'?

On what factual information do you base your post?

There is plenty of help and advice available from people from all walks of life here.
Just try to make one step at a time. Ask questions about those steps. Formulate your realistic achieveable actions.
Above all think postive, be motivated and be open-minded.
I would say don't give up before you've begun

[grahamw48]

Great thanks for the advice everybody.

I guess I will just get to the first step then.

An expensive process? Great. I look forward to that. I guess it might be easier for her to move over her as a singleton then.

You can assume that your lady has no money whatsoever, and that you will be stumping up a few thousand quid....about the price of a fairly old secondhand car.

It's all down to priorities really I suppose.

[Sim11UK]

Man, I've been looking all evening and all I seem to find (as I understand it) is that there are two options.

1. Fiance Visa
But she cannot work until we're married

2. Visitor Visa
But she cannot marry whilst here

Do they purposely make it disheartening? Option 1 is just not viable if you aren't rich. How can you support someone else AND save for a wedding within 6 months easily.

If this is what the only viable option is then I really don't know what to do. Meeting her will just make it so much harder if there is so little hope of reaching the finish line.. unless you are rich.

Hey don't be disheartened, you're only at the start of what could be an exciting adventure...but there's going to be a lot of ups & downs along the the way, as you are starting to realise. This forum is still going, because members have made what you are trying to do happen.
Many here I'm sure don't have much money, myself very much included but by saving & living frugally you can do it.
Get the trip booked, as has been said meet her, her family...See whether it's really for you & if it is, you will find a way...Just do it one step at a time & over several trips would be my advice.