After we had both been suffering from depression for a while, the wife and I both decided to commit suicide yesterday. Strangely enough, after she had killed herself, I suddenly felt a lot better, so I thought b***ocks to it, I'll soldier on
An 80 year old man walked into a jewellers with a gorgeous 25 year old girl on his arm, and asked for a special ring for his lady. The jeweller said, here's one for £5000. The old man said, No, I want a really special one. The Jeweller went to the safe and brought out a really special ring and said, this one is £65000 sir.
The old man, said, great, we'll have that one. I'll write you a cheque and when it has cleared on monday we will come and collect it.
On monday, the Jeweller called the old man and said your cheque has bounced, there's no money in the account. The old man replied, I know, but can you imagine the weekend I've had
