RETIREMENT BONUS
>>
>> The Marines found they had too many officers and decided to offer an early
>> retirement bonus. They promised any officer or non-commissioned officer who
>> volunteered for Retirement a bonus of $1,000 for every inch measured in a
>> straight line between any Two points in his body.. The officer got to choose
>> what those two points would be.
>>
>> The first officer who accepted asked that he be measured from the top of his
>> head to the tip of his toes. He was measured at six feet and walked out with
>> a bonus of $72,000.
>>
>> The second officer who accepted was a little smarter and asked to be
>> measured from the tip of his outstretched hands to his toes. He walked Out
>> with $96,000.
>>
>> The third one was a non-commissioned officer, a grizzly old Gunnery Sergeant
>> who, when asked where he would like to be measured replied,
>> 'From the tip of my weenie to my testicles.'
>>
>> It was suggested by the pension man that he might want to reconsider,
>> explaining about the nice big checks the previous two Officers had received.
>> But the old Gunny insisted and they decided to go along with him providing
>> the measurement was taken by a Medical Officer.
>>
>> The Medical Officer arrived and instructed the Gunny to 'drop 'em,' which he
>> did. The medical officer placed the tape measure on the tip of the Gunny's
>> weenie and began to work back. "Dear Lord!", he suddenly exclaimed,
>> ''Where are your testicles?''
>> The old Gunny calmly replied, '' Vietnam ''.
