Just wanted some Advice!

[keithAngel]

Ah the Phils where Men are still expected to be Men

[aposhark]

'what you see is what you get' better to find out what he is like now, rather than the day after your wedding night. People dont change no more than I can change the colour of my eyes. You had a lucky escape, move on to greener pastures

People change all the time if there is sufficient reason to do so

[gWaPito]

Going by my own experiences in life and relationships, once an asshole always an asshole. and no amount of will change my mind. Good evening. As for changing giving to right conditions, i would say, they can hid there true colours for a limited time, eventually the true self will shine through. Are you trying to tell us something Apo? Im all ears.

[aposhark]

Going by my own experiences in life and relationships, once an asshole always an asshole. and no amount of will change my mind. Good evening. As for changing giving to right conditions, i would say, they can hid there true colours for a limited time, eventually the true self will shine through. Are you trying to tell us something Apo? Im all ears.

If people were inflexible and unwilling to sort out their problems by compromise, many relationships would founder where they would flourish if change were to take place.
I am not trying to tell you anything Gwap, the inflexibility of "once an asshole always an asshole" shows that you do not think people are capable of worthwhile change.

[imagine]

a person can change but he or she , or both has got to want to

[gWaPito]

Apo Im talking about people with bad traits for example excessive drinking gambling chasing the opposite sex or even the same sex, God forbid! Even control freaks, these people dont change, in my experience. You can only flog a dead horse for so long. I know The blame cant be put squarely at the door of the offender the partner must bear some responsibilty for picking a duffer.

[Lancashirelad]

Hello to all who have show there support!!!
And to finish it all, as last night we made the decision, Oh and more of it "Mr. Stewart aka imagine"Oh man you know how you let my heart sympathized on your conditions. I really wish you could find the answer that bother you as much.

I've found out the real answer why he did break me up last time, he wanted me to choose between him and my family, he wanted me to stop thinking of my family anymore and all I have to do is to concentrate on our relationship, this is because I am quite supporting my younger sister which in God's will would be going to get a board exam for mechanical engineer this march,."Oh I pray I lot for her hope she can get it to the top"He told me about stop sending my salary to my family instead to save it for our future, If i can't do that then I will be losing him. Since my mother and my father were old enough we do the support their children.In other words we are being conflict on our cultural views, which is the value of being family oriented, it is not in his vocabulary,...He also talk about the future we may be..That if we got married and something went wrong in this relationship and split up, where should the custody of the children goes or anything like that...

That was totally crap me up. yes maybe his been too realistic in real world, but in God's sake..how could he think that when we are not yet started building our lives. It seems that it is his real view of getting into relationship...

I know that all maybe Filipino woman would felt insulted..It seems he view a family in general as to be broken in any times....

I was full of it...I wanted a man that I can I assure will stay forever in my side...And to think of it his totally opposite.. Why such I found out later...Why did he never told me this things before.???I maybe never choose or fall for him....

It's getting to my nerves already.....
So I pissed him off!!!!!!!

Sorry to say it!!!but I feel his not the one I wanted to be with in my life...Totally negative thinking towards in making a family..

Have your partner do think the same way he did????I wonder????

Im sorry it didnt work out for you, but you should be proud of yourself for making the right decision and not staying with a selfish person.

For him to say you cant help your sister is almost beyond belief for me, and to start planning for a future break up also sounds strange.
When i marry my fiancee we both want an everlasting marriage and i cant see a future without us together.
Hope you recover fast, time heals, im sure in time when you find the right person you will be very glad of the decision you took.

[henry]

Hello to all of you..Well I glad to know that you are smart enough and strong enough to hold out for a meaningful ilfe. That's the positive. It's a good lesson learned and I believe you have grown from the experience....

[jhoana]

how sad for you i knw how u feel ryt now n i can relate but u need to be strong

[sweetnote143]

I can relate to your problem, simpleheart.....I know that there are women who look for foreign men for money but there are a lot of women out there who are simply wishing to find someone to love. It's not wrong for friends to dissuade a friend from dating a Filipina but somehow they also have to open their mind that they're making general assumptions based on a very small percentage of pinay women who are after money......I for one, if I am only after money, why I didnt marry at a young age? Why did I reach this age of 29 and still looking for someone to love? Why do I have the need to work? I work not because for the sole purpose of gaining a financial stability but because I love what I do, I love the mental challenge in the field of research. Why we always feel like there is a need to prove our worth? Men should also ask their selves if they are worthy of our attention.

Maybe is it also true that intelligent women become dumb when it comes to love....I think that is true in my case All I want in life is to love and be loved, is that too much to ask?

[ann_barnett]

That was quite right Nigel, it happen when he formally announce our relationship to his colleague, everyone's opinion was quite negative, and to tell you the truth he is really shaken, asking a lot of me, make sure I'm not after his money, etc...Which I told him, If I do, I won't pick him up, where practically I have my own profession in IT field, and honestly I could have a man with the same degree as I am. Or quite more than that..there are lot of them,..But it says you can't dictate your heart. Yes his work was quite good too, maybe not in my level,..But Im proud of it...Because the truth is I accept him for who he is.

Hi Simpleheart,

I feel sorry about what happened and it breaks my heart really...Why is he asking you such foolish questions? Did you ask money from him or is he voluntarily sending you money? What is your age gap? You know sometimes when you're far from each other's age (other half is much much older/younger), you can easily be judged by skeptical people... Many people are judgmental and we dont know how your bf brought about the topic to his friends, why are they reacting in that manner to the oint that your bf is affected that caused him breaking up with you...

Well if you think you dont deserve such kind of treatment, better be off... As you know when you enter a married life specially here in the Philippines it's a serious commitment and we're talking about lifetime partnership... And if you cant tolerate or accept maybe some of his behavior/personality, then step back, think, think, think and think then decide...

But in my point of view, if my loved ones treated me that why.... i will let him feel that it's HIS' lost not mine then ask him back "GIVE ME VALID REASONS, WHY SHOULD I GO BACK TO OUR RELATIONSHIP? Then i would analyze his answers with all my heart and if they are not acceptable then i'll have a graceful exit... But. but if his reasons are acceptable.... then i move on to the next, communicate clearly what you like and you dont understand with each other.. then compromise, observe if it's working the second time around... then if yes!, go-go-for gold.. get married and spend the rest of your life with each other...

Always remember, in every relationship love and respect is very important plus acceptance... God speed...