there is no limit to the number of days you can be out of the uk if you have FLR or a settlement visa, BUT THE UK IS SUPPOSE TO BE YOUR HOME !, so both friends are in fact right, there is no limit but its at the discretion of the Case worker if they allow your ILR app becuase of the number of days you've been out of the uk, unless you have a good reason for staying along time out of the uk, eg you or your husbands work, but to minimise any problems and to help you get citizenship asap stick to the 90 days a year if you can