Beware of long term scammers!

[Farmerg]

I joined a penpal site at the end of June 2010, I started sending & receiving messages with a few people on the site but after a few messages most people stopped sending any apart from a Filipino woman. The Filipino lady & myself exchanged messages pretty much every day as friends for two & a half months before we started sending flirting & romantic messages. My feelings grew for her more & more and she sent messages professing her love & that I was the only man for her.

I was not to sure how to proceed as this was my first internet love affair & I am very shy when it comes to romance & women. in January I purchased a mobile & sim card so that I could phone her, we chatted a couple of times but it was difficult to have a decent conversation because of reception problems. I felt a real connection with her and we started to
send messages discussing the sort of things that you only talk about with someone you deeply care about.

All was going well, I felt closer to her than I had to anyone before and she was sending messages to me saying I was the man she wanted to spend the rest of her life with & start a family with & she changed her profile on the penpal site saying that she had met the man she would spend the rest of her life with , then in the middle of February she announced that she was moving to suburb of Quezon city to stay with her cousin & find a job in march. After she moved she sent messages saying that she was settling in & that she would start looking for a job soon.

About four days ago she sent a message saying that she was looking for a job in a district the other side of Manila to where she was staying and that she wanted me to send her money to pay for the rent on a apartment in this district and to pay for new clothes for a interview & to take a test, Alarm bells started to ring in my head as I read this. The message she sent me was completely out of character to every other message she had sent.The message was about twice as long as any other message I had received from her. She normally made may spelling & grammar mistakes but in this message it was near perfect apart from sections of the message that were specific to are relationship at which point she had misspelt the words she always gets wrong. This message seemed to me to be a cut and paste scam message and that she had added in the personal stuff.

I reacted angrily to this message and deleted my account on the penpal site straight away without sending any message to her. The next day after not sleeping very well I decided that I may have made a mistake & that I should at least send her a message asking her to explain. On opening my gmail account a email came up from her that she had sent two hours ago, her message asked me why I had deleted my penpal account and that she was sorry for asking for money & that she could manage without me sending any money. I felt more gilt for not sending her a message so I decided to reactivate my penpal account but before I did this I decided to check her penpal profile. I was so shocked to find that she had changed her profile to say that she was single and looking for another man as I had stopped sending her messages & she did not know why?,to my disbelieve she had done this an hour after sending me the email apologising.

I hope this is a warning to anyone that thinks if someone does not ask for money within the first two or three months of a online relationship that the person is not a scammer.

George.

[Dedworth]

Well done - you heeded the alarm bells and took action before it was too late. It is very good of you to go into the detail which hopefully will keep others away from scammers and fraudsters.

[Farmerg]

To be honest I feel a right idiot for falling in love with her & been stupid enough to believe that we might have a future together.

[Dedworth]

To be honest I feel a right idiot for falling in love with her & been stupid enough to believe that we might have a future together.

You shouldn't - there've been a few other guys here man enough to admit to being hoodwinked. Better luck in future

[Farmerg]

Thanks Deadwood
I think I will leave it a while before considering another relationship, this has really hurt me.
I did a daft thing and signed up for the free dating on this site straight after reading that she was single again, after a few minutes of looking at profiles I realised that I was looking for revenge & defiantly not in the right frame of mind to be looking for a new lady so I deleted my profile.

[gWaPito]

Well done!
She made the mistake of pulling the fishing line too soon, you were still sniffing around the hook.

She will learn from her mistake and probably get it right next time

[Farmerg]

I think most men that go on penpal sites get a few of the begging hard luck story scam requests after a few messages but I thought that after eight months I was safe .

The mistake she made was trying it on with a tight farmer like me, I shed a tear every time I open my wallet!

To be honest she won't get much luck if she keeps using a cut & paste begging message like that, it was so obvious because of the spelling etc compared to her usual messages. I remember reading a thread on here posted by a guy who had a near identical message from his Filipino girlfriend.

[simpleHeart]

To be honest she won't get much luck if she keeps using a cut & paste begging message like that, it was so obvious because of the spelling etc compared to her usual messages.

She must study better English first before she will get in on a scam business...

[grahamw48]

Sorry to hear of your bad experience.

I have had several dozen gorgeous Filipinas declaring their undying love for me on those dating sites. Wow I must be quite a catch.

The ex was the best though, with her 15 year long scam.

I recommend you spend a few quid on going out there and meeting a REAL nice lady.
There are millions of them.

[Farmerg]

Thanks for the advice Graham48.
I just like to point out that it was not a dating site & I did not go on there looking for love but someone to chat to as I am a carer for my disabled father as well as a farmer and I don't get to sleep much at night because of seeing to his needs so I was looking for people to chat with to help me stay awake, I find sending & receiving messages is better than watching tv in my situation as I tend to fall asleep.

[gWaPito]

Graham is right George, get yourself over there.

You will save much time and possible heartache in the process.

Shops like S&M.

Unlike stores here they have to greet you etc.

So get yourself over there and fill your boots!

[fred]

Thanks Deadwood

[worthingmale]

live and learn, put it down to experience

[joebloggs]

better if you could find and chat to a single filipina who is a friend or relative of filipina's on here

is that your dogs pic in your avatar farmerg?

[stevie c]

Thanks Deadwood
I think I will leave it a while before considering another relationship, this has really hurt me.
I did a daft thing and signed up for the free dating on this site straight after reading that she was single again, after a few minutes of looking at profiles I realised that I was looking for revenge & defiantly not in the right frame of mind to be looking for a new lady so I deleted my profile.

deadwood

[mickcant]

Hi George
Well done on spotting the signs and not letting your heart rule

Like Graham I married my ex before I realised it was just money, passport and visa she wanted.
Mick.

[dunstun365]

I met my mahal gf on Moko mobi which is a UK Filopino social network site. I was on it for over a year when my lovely friend on there left the site.
i then met someone new. Even though I didn"t put down that I was looking 4 a relationship. we hit it off after a few wks msging & phone call (I use a special cheap rate service to ph.) and went to see her in Manila. I"d never flown on my own before but it was so exiting & she was realy great even better than th photos.

[duffy girl]

it's so sad to hear about things like this. i can't blame people for looking down on some filipinas and their motives for engaging in a relationship with white guys. it's good that you were able to see the tell-tale signs.
i pray that you find your girl real soon.

[sars_notd_virus]

you are a good farmer Farmerg!!...you spotted the quagmire so quick
goodluck in your search of a true love in the future.

[sparky]

in many ways be thankful that you got away so cheaply

many guys dont and it can get very expensive

but dont give up hope- there are many good ladys out there

[gWaPito]

A bit uncalled for George. He was being supportive as well

[Sim11UK]

Sorry for what happened, you're certainly not an idiot, it happens.
She's the biggest loser, she messed up.
Don't give up though, if it's what you want, a good, kind, caring one will come along.

[stevewool]

we all can fall for a con , but dont give up , like they say there are some good ones out there

[Englishman2010]

Be thankful you spotted it this soon and put it down to experience so that you are better prepared next time You're not the first and won't be the last to fall for a scam.
No point beating yourself up over not spotting it, I fell for a scammer too. Fortunately, second time around I have a great Filipina who wants nothing more than me and doesn't care about my money.
Don't give up, and you'll find your perfect Filipina

[Terpe]

Scams like that can be offline and online with any nationality and with any gender.
Online is easier to pull off, and easier to admit to.
Maybe I'm just getting to be a grumpy old man, but in mitigation, my experience is coloured by real events.
Just my 2 pence worth.

[Farmerg]

Thanks to every one for your kind words & advice & support.

I would like to apologise for any offence caused to Graham48, it was not my intention to offend but to explain the circumstances in which I met my ex. I don't think any worse of people for using dating agencies, I was trying to show that its possible like I did to find yourself in a scam situation. I was also trying to show that even when your not looking for a relationship you can fall for a romance scam.
Unfortunately I struggle with reading & writing as I have a mild form of dyslexia & this can make it hard for me to explain myself in a eloquent way as so many can on this forum, I tend to concentrate on my spelling and then I lose focus with the communication of my thoughts & opinions which can sometimes lead to misunderstandings.

Thank you gWaPito for pointing my failure to communicate.

George.

[gWaPito]

Thanks to every one for your kind words & advice & support.

I would like to apologise for any offence caused to Graham48, it was not my intention to offend but to explain the circumstances in which I met my ex. I don't think any worse of people for using dating agencies, I was trying to show that its possible like I did to find yourself in a scam situation. I was also trying to show that even when your not looking for a relationship you can fall for a romance scam.
Unfortunately I struggle with reading & writing as I have a mild form of dyslexia & this can make it hard for me to explain myself in a eloquent way as so many can on this forum, I tend to concentrate on my spelling and then I lose focus with the communication of my thoughts & opinions which can sometimes lead to misunderstandings.

Thank you gWaPito for pointing my failure to communicate.

George.

No problem George

A few more have been taken for a ride Mick, me included. You just got to put it behind you

[grahamw48]

Hi George.

No offense taken...or even thought about.

If I told you about all the dumb things I'd done in my life, at times even Homer Simpson would look like a sensible bloke by comparison.

[purple]

You're lucky that you're able to realize that soon. Otherwise you'll be forever damned.

A lady who genuinely have interest on you would never ever ask money or anything from you. Whether she is poor. A true love does not have to mean a cost by sending her money. You haven't met in person and asking monetary assistance is a shame.

Even if you are dating or have progressed to a higher level of relationship, it is best to keep personal and financial respect to your to each other.

A lady is obviously fake when all of a sudden she will be away when you don't have money.. worse would say single? I understand this happens everywhere.. not just in Philippines.

[Arthur Little]

Unfortunately I struggle with reading & writing as I have a mild form of dyslexia & this can make it hard for me to explain myself in a eloquent way. I tend to concentrate on my spelling and then I lose focus with the communication of my thoughts & opinions which can sometimes lead to misunderstandings.

Thank you gWaPito for pointing my failure to communicate.

George.

George ... as the father of a son who only found out he was dyslexic by the time he reached his teens, I fully understand its implications. But let me reassure you, you've absolutely no need to feel in any way "different" nor ashamed of it. On the contrary, I think you communicate very well - and your *spelling is faultless. Heck ... even with a so-called "Higher Qualification" in English Language and Literature ... I frequently find myself consulting a dictionary for *mine! A sign of old age [in my case] I guess.