Originally Posted by
Malleus
First of all Paul I am sorry to hear about your difficulties, and I really wish you well and hope everything works out for you.
As for myself reading your story I have to confess I am really puzzled. I know there are other BM's who are more compassionate and understanding towards your girlfriend, pointing out that she is still young, and this fact should excuse her behaviour somewhat. I would agree, if she were 13 or 14, but she is nearly 20. She is absolutely an adult and definitely old enough to know right from wrong. All I can do is try to put myself in your shoes and see how I would react. My thought process goes something like this.
This girl is demonstrably a liar. She has completely deceived me about this other man in her life. She has also lied about where she has been, telling me she is with friends, at parties when she is obviously with boyfriend number 1. Furthermore she is cheating on her boyfriend with me (notwithstanding the fact that her boyfriend is clearly a loser). She is unhappy with one man, but doesnt want to leave him yet. So she decides to increase her options and starts playing the numbers game. I am her backup plan, she is waiting to see if I prove to be a better choice than boyfriend number 1.
Now what does this tell me about this girls character? Well it tells me that she is clearly capable of lying with ease. It obviously comes naturally to her or else she couldnt pull it off well. If she can lie about this, she can lie about anything. Second point is that she is clearly a cheat. Again, if she can cheat once, she can do it again. If she can cheat on boyfriend number 1, she can cheat on me just as easily. So sometime in the future when she is not happy with some part of our relationship, rather than working through it there is a strong likelihood that she will start fishing around for a 'better' choice. And as she is a liar too, then it will be no problem to her to cover her tracks. Then there are the health implications of being in a relationship with a cheating partner.......
IMHO there simply could not be any bigger or more obvious red flags than this. I would personally avoid this girl like the plague. You make the point that this girl is putting up with a cheating boyfriend because she is in love. But from my point of view, you are doing exactly the same thing lol. Why would you want to give a girl like that a chance? You say you have nothing to lose, but truthfully as you start getting more and more involved with this girl, and your feelings develop it will become exponentially more difficult to A. spot her deceptions and B. extricate yourself from the situation. Sure its no big deal to you now, but in a year or two it could easily cause you massive heartache, among other things.
As Rosie and Graham have pointed out, there is an abundance of genuine and lovely pinays who have good characters and would be faithful in a relationship. I know you say that at least she hasn't tried to scam you for money. But is that really a good enough reason to stay with a girl - that she hasnt tried to use you for money yet? I would humbly suggest that you are selling yourself short. You deserve a lot more than that, and imho there are many many pinays out there who are far more deserving than this girl of a good man like yourself.
Just my two cents. My posts tend to be a bit direct, so I hope I haven't offended you.
Which just backs up the point her friend made about him not being content with her. Geez, the .... women will put up with when they're in love! No wonder she was suspicious of my intentions too if this is her early experience of what a relationship is like.
