Criminals and Pensioners

[Doc Alan]

Let's put criminals in nursing homes and pensioners in jail ...
* Pensioners would have unlimited free prescriptions, medical and dental treatment, and receive weekly payment.
* Private, secure rooms, ensuite showers, exercise outdoor yard and gardens would be provided.
* They would have constant video monitoring so they could be helped instantly if they fell or needed assistance.
* Simple clothing, pyjamas, shoes, and slippers would be provided.
* Bedding would be washed twice a week, all clothing washed, ironed and returned to them.
* A guard would check on them every 20 minutes and bring meals or snacks to their cell.
* They would have family visits in a suite built for that purpose.
* There would be access to a library, spiritual counselling, legal aid, education and hobbies.
* Each could have a TV, PC, radio, and phone access.
* There would be a board of directors to hear complaints. Guards would have a strict code of conduct.

For criminals there would be:-
* Cold food.
* No supervision and left all alone.
* A tiny room, once weekly shower.
* £ 600 /week payment required.
* No hope of ever getting out.

[Dedworth]

The Pensioners also have easy access to illegal drugs, mobile phones, Playstations and be able to smoke in their rooms

[Englishman2010]

The Pensioners also have easy access to illegal drugs, mobile phones, Playstations and be able to smoke in their rooms

And if they are lucky enough, also have private visits from the opposite sex

[Terpe]

Well done Doc ! It's actually very funny


Warning Hi-Jack in process
But...................it nearly bought tears to my eyes really.

why?

Because it's just so close to the truth of the actual situation.
My wife personally knows more than 50 elderly pensions in our village who would really jump at the chance.
Maybe no-one knows but local council have cut huge chunks out of the care packages.

Old and infirmed people who cannot get out of bed. No family and only minimal care why ... no funding. No hot food, no clean clothes, no bath no ...... anything.
And no space in the nursing home.

Sorry I hijacked the humour thread.

It is funny.
But so close to home I couldn't help myself

[Doc Alan]

Sorry I hijacked the humour thread.

It is funny.
But so close to home I couldn't help myself

Completely understandable - I debated whether to put it in the "Rant" section and compromised by adding no "smileys".

[Terpe]

Completely understandable - I debated whether to put it in the "Rant" section and compromised by adding no "smileys".

[imagine]

perfectly true, good one doc,,

[Arthur Little]

Many are the true words written (or in this case, typed) in jest, Alan ... but in reality, they're not so far off the mark!

[RickyR]

Doc, are you trying to encourage Dedworth *aka Mr Daily Mail!

[Doc Alan]

Doc, are you trying to encourage Dedworth *aka Mr Daily Mail!

There's no answer to that !
But there is a serious side to this thread which members including D recognise and support.

[Arthur Little]

And if they are lucky enough, also have private visits from the opposite sex

, Ian ... it's a fact! With all this so-called 'Human Rights' crap circulating nowadays, I'll wager that convicted criminals can look forward to a damn sight more conjugal visits than most - if not all - institutionalised pensioners.

[scott&ligaya]

This is unfortunately SO TRUE that the humour is like death row humour. Thank you for rasing this issue in a novel way.

It has prompted me to see how I can get these points over to a much bigger audience, like fired at a politican on questiontime, see how they respond

[jerry46]

Yes what you posted is very true. It is a shame at the way the world is. The elderly people should have somebody there for them. We don't treat them well in this country.