I'm now in UK having left my ex gf in Philippines with our 5mth old son as she would not sign the official form which would have allowed me to take him with me.....
I have been informed that if she finds another bf/husband - I have a right to have him with me....is this right?
Can anyone enlighten me please? or have I lost him forever????
http://www.chanrobles.com/executiveorderno209.htm
Children below the age of seven years are deemed to have chosen the mother, unless the court has decided otherwise.
Thanks joebloggs
so it looks like I have lost my one and only heir, my only son - I have no rights and whatever happens to him is only the concern of the mother
I had a dream answered but now all I have is nightmares............. wishing the world will end!
Philphil ....... your son will always be YOUR son, whether he is with you here or not. Please remember that he is only a baby at the moment but later in life will be able to make his own choices about where he lives. Don't give up hope, you are his dad and you haven't lost him forever.Originally Posted by philphil61
Thanks Rosie
I know what your saying - yes I'll always be his dad and he is only a baby now BUT not being there for him, not seeing his first steps, his first words, being able to hold him etc and then having to wait and wait
IT JUST HURTS SO MUCH - I DONT WANT TO WAIT
You need to find a good lawyer for this case.
Minor children is usually awarded to the mother unless the mother is 'unfit' to take care of the child then the father will have the rights...have you got him a british passport? are you signed in his birth certificate?
''Don't be serious..Be Sincere''
Why would your son's mother want to let you take your son away with you to another country on the other side of the world ?
I take your point grahamw48
except that her living conditions do not fair well - with no real running water, electricity cables that's been botched and taped to death, no glass windows in the home, leaky roof, washing (bathing and laundry) are done from concrete sunken tank, education is almost primitive and is costly, health is not to standard (my first born died at birth becoz the dr's stethoscope was faulty, the ct scanner was locked away in another room and they had to read the instructions on how to use it and they did not treat my ex gf until it was too late - we arrived at 1.20am was seen by the dr about 30 mins later with heart rate of baby at 75 but they didnt do anything until 7.30am)
so basically i have no good reasons becoz that's the way some filipinos live and accept it!
but honestly - he would have a better education/health, I would not teach him to seek only foreigner for money but teach him real christian values.
It's all down to personal choice - you have your opinion - I have mine
but another comment to your statement - why not? why not take him to the other side of the world?
hi phil, at this point, our laws wont allow the child to be separated from the mother until he gets to an age where he can choose where to stay. However, seek a lawyers help on this. At the moment, provide something for your son needs for milk, clean water etc. It don't have to be money,you can have some friends in pinas to send the stuff to your son.Have a visit to your son and see how the mother is taking care of him.
But that wasn't my question was it.
You seem to be ruling the child's mother out of the equation.
Without her permission, until the child is an adult he will NEVER be allowed to leave the Phils , and without a British passport she would have to accompany the child anyway.
The Philippines govt. is very strict on this now because of anti- people trafficking laws.
So I suggest that you start building, or re-building a relationship with HER.
As far as living conditions in the Phils are concerned, yes I'm quite aware of what a 3rd world country is like to live in, as I've been living there off and on for the past 20+ years, including stays of up to 3 years.
Unfortunately there are millions of children living in what we would consider poor conditions over in the Phils, and I can't see any court accepting that as grounds for giving custody to you, but it IS (as the poster above has pointed out) perhaps in your hands to help out where you can.
I have not refused any request to help out my son. I will provide for my son but my son only. And I will provide direct to source not to the scams that I know will occur. (1 pending am waiting confirmation from the doctor involved)
These will be done without question........ I am his father
My original post was seeking what rights do I have and thanks to some replies it appears I have little rights.
I have other issues like access online with my son but it seems some of you dont see the reason for my questions and therefore I will not respond any more sorry
Thanks to those that gave valid information - yes I'm hurting I suppose to some it's normal and I should accept it but to the ones who know and understand my situation I thank you for your interest / replies if you sent one
Good day all
how will you know this will happen, she will ask for money for your son at some point...looks like a long road to travel down.
if you really want him, why not pay her off
i have learnt to do what my wife says!
It's a child that is being discussed here ... not a commodity!
if you really want him, why not pay her off
a child in which he as no rights to and a child that will live in proverty except the father will send only the child money....thats never going to work and it will be a endless money pit.
sadly, the only choice he as, if he really wants his child to pay her off.
i have learnt to do what my wife says!
Thanks for the recent comments
After asking to take him back with me and she refused I questioned the possibility of "paying" for my son but this too was refused. She is only 22 and already only 1 month from leaving her she has another USA bf visiting. Yes apparently she was chatting before I had left her.
Deep down and having much experience and knowledge I do believe that they are contemplating that I will finance them and my son and that's the only reason she will not let me take him. Why because of their lifestyle - karaoke machines and new cell phones come before food and house repairs.
As I said in a post above I suspect they are already trying to lie to get money - she apparently took my son to a named doctor and needs xray etc, she said she would send documentation to support but have not received anything. I am awaiting a written reply, by email, from the named doctor regarding this. Again I tried to explain I will pay for my sons needs but direct to source only - example when he needs schooling I will ask which school and contact the school directly and only pay the school directly - therefore I will not send money direct to her or her family. (Hope thats clear).
Yes he's not a commodity but in the eyes of the evidence I have and the knowledge of many months watching filipina after filipina come into the internet cafe and lie to foreign men about their circumstances. I know what goes off and why - to them he is a commodity to me he's my beautiful son that I miss so much.
I wish they would let me buy him even if it's against all my better judgement - at least I know he will be loved for the child he is, he will want for nothing but not be spoilt, he will have contact with his filipino family but not enough to corrupt his tiny mind like so many elders corrupt the minds of their children. Sorry again but when you see 13 yr old girls going online at person.com to chat to foreigner and encouraged to show breast by their elders - it's so **cking wrong. When you see you kids taught by their elders to urinate in the street - it's wrong when the CR is just feet away. When you see elders sweep up rubbish around their home and walk past the rice sack used for their daily rubbish then dump their rubbish they collected onto the beach - where is the common sense?
Phil.
We KNOW what goes on in the Philippines.
That's how things are in 3rd world countries, but agonising over it and rubbishing their society...tarring them with the same brush (remember there are lots of Filipina members on this forum) won't change anything.
There are also a lot good and honourable Filipinos.
Believe me I understand, having had a cheating Filipina wife, and almost lost MY son. I went to a judge here and put a restraining order on her at one point so she couldn't disappear off to the Phils with him.
I have custody of him now.
You need to start planning carefully and focus on what you can do constructively to achieve your objective.
In the meantime it is highly unlikely that your son will come to any harm.
Filipinos make every effort to take great care of their children, and I'm sure if you stuck with your ex so long, then she can't have been such a terrible person or from some sort of evil and uncaring family.
Your approach towards 'targetting' the support seems very sensible if it can be made to work.
It happens,I know a pinay who used to work in a girlie-bar in Wanchai who "sold" her daughter to the Canadian father.I would lay a bet thats not an isolated incidenceIt's a child that is being discussed here ... not a commodity!Phil,cant offer any advice as I have never walked in your shoes down that particular road,but it does sound like your son is a bargaining chip from her perspective to finance her lifestyle,hope it all works itself out over time for whats best for the boy.
Sometimes you're flush and sometimes you're bust, and when you're up, it's never as good as it seems, and when you're down, you never think you'll be up again. But life goes on.
The beauty of a woman is not in the clothes she wears, the figure that she carries, or the way she combs her hair. The beauty of a woman is seen in her eyes, because that is the doorway to her heart, the place where love resides. True beauty in a woman is reflected in her soul. It's the passion that she shows to the outside world.
@grahamw48
It may seem I'm targeting filipinos, it may seem that I consider all pinoy to be the same - that's not what I am trying to convey here and if you read other posts I've made I do admit that there are some honest loving people there...... it's just finding them like a needle in a haystack.
I thought I'd found the right girl. I'd spent 8mnths chatting to her and her family and involving my family. Also telling them all the circumstances etc. I suprised her with my visit to Philippines and made sure I was comfortable after hearing so many other problems had gone on before me. I was happy and contented and I decided to stay longer. It wasn't until a financial change hit me hard that the family turned from be loving, interesting and accepting family to something I would not like to be repeated to anyone. I thought I knew all, I'd spent hours researching, spent money investigating.
My comments are written to hopefully gain responsible advice but also warn others that even though things can be happy and loving for a long time - if one little glitch hits the fan - it hits the fan so hard you cannot ever clean up after it.
I am looking for advice and trying to find ways to plan for every eventuality - sorry but it hurts too and therefore my inner pain gets expressed here. I am human and I have a heart!!!
@Tawi2
I hope I will find peace and love and maintain a good contact with my son but I do not see it. I am methodical, practical person - my ex gf has been unfaithfull before I left her, she is now already 2mnths on with another USA guy visiting her right now. In one hand I am hurting because I still had something there in my heart but on the other hand I hope the american has his fun and leaves her because she deserves to suffer like she has made me suffer. Again I must apologise for my thoughts and words but I can only write about what I know and how I feel.
I want the best for my son - most fathers do - I've tried being reasonable, I've tried offering the carrot now it seems I must find other ways to try to resolve my situation.
are you 100% sure thats its your son
i have learnt to do what my wife says!
lol.... I understand ur concern
having lived with her for over 2 yrs
our first still born 23rd Sept 2009 - the "tradition" was for him to be carried out in cardboard box but I walked with him, with my head held high, out of the hospital as if he was alive - I would not entertain that custom for my son no matter where he was born
our 2nd born 30th Oct 2010 - he's just a beautiful as our first (though every parent will say that) and yes he's got my hair, my eyes, my lips
yes I am the father also named on the birth certificate
there was never a question (or a chance by her to meet others behind my back) of me not being the father
get a lawyer and explain all your evidences about your beast ex..its good to make it all legal
am sure if everything materialized and go into bloom between your ex and her US bf , you will have no chance to get your son anymore, unless your son is in the stage in which he can decide to live with his mother or his father...act upon now before its too late.
''Don't be serious..Be Sincere''
man that is some serious problem you have there, please do not put off if some of us here are a bit blunt,, many of us have seen/heard/been through traumatic times ourselves or with friends and can get a little hardened or just plain forthright. Your appraoch to trying to target help seems reasonable if you can make it work but I fear you have little or no legal recourse in the Phils. Tough one mate, cannot think how you should proceed.
Live your life for a reason and don't worry be happy
if you don't know where you are going then any road will do!!
I've been reading your various posts, Phil ... and am so sorry to be unable to offer any constructive solution - having never been in a situation like yours.to the friendly online filipino/uk site; hopefully, some frank discussion will help bring you as much peace of mind as possible in the circumstances.
Thanks Arthur and Scott&Ligaya
I really believe that you and a few others may understand my posts and my current "status".
It is really appreciated some of the advice offered, some of the information mentioned and I try my best to write here what is actually happening and but unfortunately the pain I feel also shows through
this link might give you some further info.
http://jlp-law.com/blog/child-custod...ity-of-mother/
Thanks for all the links and advice
I seem to think that my chances of ever seeing my son are almost zero. I cannot even get to see him online this past week.
Of course I will keep trying and as soon as I get some ££ together - if he's still in the Phil's with his mother I will go visit....
But boy does this hurt.... and I mean really hurt!!
If you want to ensure that your son is living in good conditions without being fleeced. You would be best finding a decent westerner who is renting houses, you pay the rent on the house/apartment and the basic bills directly and eventually you pay the schooling directly. You then have an arrangement with a good local dr who will keep you informed of your sons progress and vaccinations and tell you the truth when you get messages asking for money because your son needs medical attention. This is my first recommendation,.
Thanks RickR - he isnt living in good conditions but that is western standards - in the Phil's his living conditions in normal.....and for them acceptable. If I ever think about going back to live there I will be seeking more advice regarding renting from western - sounds good to me! With regard about any other bills I will always contact the source of the bill to verify - there is no chance of me sending money direct to the ex.
There are many levels of living standards amongst filipino's, but they can be very high.
sorry guys another question related to my son....
I was informed that he cannot leave the Philippines without the consent of both parents... is this right?
and if so... my ex is talking of moving to usa with her new bf - will she need my signature and if i dont sign then what?
There are currently 1 users browsing this thread. (0 members and 1 guests)
Posting Permissions
