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Thread: Age related facts

  1. #1
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    Age related facts

    Perks of reaching 50 ... or being over 60 ... + heading towards 70 or beyond :-
    * No one expects you to run -- anywhere.
    * People call at 9 pm ( or 9 am) and ask "Did I wake you ?".
    * There is nothing left to learn the hard way.
    * Things you buy now won't wear out.
    * You can eat supper at 4 pm.
    * You can live without sex but not your glasses.
    * You get into heated arguments about pension plans.
    * You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge.
    * You sing along with elevator music.
    * Your eyes won't get much worse.
    * Your investment in health insurance is finally beginning to pay off.
    * Your joints are more accurate meteorologists than the national weather service.
    * Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can't remember them either.
    * Most important of all ... NEVER take a sleeping pill and laxative on the same night


  2. #2
    Trusted Member stevewool's Avatar
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    well something to look forward to then Alan


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    Respected Member keeperlit's Avatar
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    love the secrets are safe with your friends as they can't remember then either
    who did i lend that 20 quid to
    live and let live


  4. #4
    Moderator Arthur Little's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Doc Alan View Post
    Perks of being over 60 ... + heading towards 70 or beyond
    Bus Pass ... State Pension ...

    Quote Originally Posted by stevewool View Post
    well something to look forward to then Alan
    ... I'm already there! And - if I live long enough - can still look forward to a free TV Licence!


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    I think Father Michael Sinnott may disagree with that first one


  6. #6
    Moderator Arthur Little's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Doc Alan View Post
    Your eyes won't get much worse.
    ... you think not? W~ell ... you're the doctor!


  7. #7
    Moderator Arthur Little's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by keeperlit View Post
    love the secrets are safe with your friends as they can't remember then either
    who did i lend that 20 quid to
    ... what was that you said? ...?


  8. #8
    Moderator Arthur Little's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Walaytawo View Post
    Father Michael Sinnott ...
    ... an appropriate name for a clergyman, I must confess!


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    Quote Originally Posted by Walaytawo View Post
    I think Father Michael Sinnott may disagree with that first one
    I am sorry if you were offended. He was kidnapped ( age 79 ) by Moro rebels in Pagadian City, Mindanao and released about a month later. This followed diplomatic efforts by the Irish and Philippine Governments, no ransom was paid, and he returned to his missionary work in January last year.
    My thread did not refer to specific individuals and was not intended to be taken seriously. That's why it was posted in the Humour section.


  10. #10
    Respected Member Ako Si Jamie's Avatar
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    Name someone 50 or over who's been kidnapped. Three more to get.

    1. Father Michael Sinnott
    2.
    3.
    4.


  11. #11
    Respected Member les_taxi's Avatar
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    Terry waite


  12. #12
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    No offence taken here I would've thought older people may be more of a target, as they tend to be more financially secure.

    Two recently, which had a happy ending thankfully -

    http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/2010...somali-pirates


  13. #13
    Respected Member Ako Si Jamie's Avatar
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    1. Father Michael Sinnott
    2. Terry Waite
    3.
    4.

    Next correct answer wins a prize. A trip to Mecca with Apo Shark!


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    I asked my Doctor if it would be OK to have sex at 79.
    he said yes it was, and thought it was a good idea.
    I said yes I think it's a good idea too as I live at 80 and 79 is just across the road


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    Quote Originally Posted by jamieXXXmaria View Post
    1. Father Michael Sinnott
    2. Terry Waite
    3.
    4.

    Next correct answer wins a prize. A trip to Mecca with Apo Shark!
    3. Paul Chandler
    4. Rachel Chandler

    When do we go to Mecca then? Give me a week and I'll convert the infidel


  16. #16
    Respected Member Ako Si Jamie's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Terpe View Post
    I asked my Doctor if it would be OK to have sex at 79.
    he said yes it was, and thought it was a good idea.
    I said yes I think it's a good idea too as I live at 80 and 79 is just across the road


    Quote Originally Posted by Walaytawo View Post
    3. Paul Chandler
    4. Rachel Chandler

    When do we go to Mecca then? Give me a week and I'll convert the infidel
    This Friday?? ......although I'm not sure Mecca Bingo will be open seeing it's a bank holiday


  17. #17
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    I was expecting spiritual enlightenment not bingo wings


  18. #18
    Respected Member scott&ligaya's Avatar
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    three old codgers are sat in the retirement home bemoaning the vagaries of old age.. The 1st bloke says well it is vey annoying getting up in the night wanting a pee, going and then nothing comes out....... the 2nd bloke nods the other says.. nah no problem I pee like a racehorse every morning around 7am regular as clockwork. Now the 2nd bloke complains about not being able to crap when he goes in the night. 1st bloke agrees and the other says .. nah no problem there either , 8am.. you get set your watch by it... Only trouble is I don`t wake up until 9AM
    Live your life for a reason and don't worry be happy

    if you don't know where you are going then any road will do!!


  19. #19
    Respected Member toging's Avatar
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    doc alan!


  20. #20
    Trusted Member sars_notd_virus's Avatar
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    nice one doc

    ***99 you cant wait each day for your 100th birthday....you will receive a letter from the Queen
    ''Don't be serious..Be Sincere''


  21. #21
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    Quote Originally Posted by Terpe View Post
    I asked my Doctor if it would be OK to have sex at 79.
    he said yes it was, and thought it was a good idea.
    I said yes I think it's a good idea too as I live at 80 and 79 is just across the road
    .... that was about 2005, right ? Better idea to leave it until bedtime, say after 2100


  22. #22
    Respected Member scott&ligaya's Avatar
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    one good thing about growing older.... the age range of women you consider worth just gets bigger.. I mean what 25 yr old would fancy a 60 yr old... but Doc Allan and Arthur would be right in there
    Live your life for a reason and don't worry be happy

    if you don't know where you are going then any road will do!!


  23. #23
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    Quote Originally Posted by scott&ligaya View Post
    one good thing about growing older.... the age range of women you consider worth just gets bigger.. I mean what 25 yr old would fancy a 60 yr old... but Doc Allan and Arthur would be right in there
    No comment as my 25 year old daughter reads my threads


  24. #24
    Respected Member Pete/London's Avatar
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    If your over 60 and wake up without aching joints.you're probably dead


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