Boere Computer Dictionary from South Africa



Monitor-Keeping an eye on the braai

Download-Get the firewood off the bakkie

Hard drive-Trip back home without any cold beer

Keyboard-Where you hang the bakkie and bike keys

Window-What you shut when it's cold

Screen-What you shut in the mosquito season

Byte-What mosquitoes do

Bit-What mosquitoes did

Mega Byte-What mosquitoes at the dam do

Chip-A bar snack

Micro Chip-What's left in the bag after you have eaten the chips

Modem-What you do to the lawns

Dot Matrix-Oom Jan Matrix's wife

Laptop-Where the cat sleeps

Software-Plastic knives and forks you get at KFC

Hardware-Real stainless steel knives and forks you get at Spur

Mouse-What eats the grain in the shed

Mouse Pad-Where the mouse takes the grain it does not eat

Mainframe-What holds the shed up

Web-What spiders make

Web Site-
The shed (or under the verandah)

Cursor-The old bloke what swears a lot

Search Engine-
What you do when the bakkie won't go

Yahoo-What you say when the bakkie does go

Upgrade-A steep hill

Server-The person at the pub that brings out the lunch

Mail Server-The bloke at the pub that brings out the lunch

User-The neighbour that keeps borrowing things

Network-When you have to repair your fishing net

Internet-Complicated fish net repair method

Netscape-When fish maneuvers out of reach of net

Online-When you get the laundry hung out

Off Line-When the pegs don't hold the washing up

Floppy Drive - When Jonas take your plaas wekkas to the clinic . . .

Virus- The reason your wekkas go on a floppy drive to the clinic

Antivirus- The medication the wekkas get at the clinic

Virus protection- Free condoms for the wekkas at the clinic