What should i do if the marriage break?

[eljean]

is going through a separation agreement and i have no idea what to so i want my child with me,can't bear to think i wont be seeing him,any advice please who has gone through same way...will be much appreciated.thank you

[grahamw48]

I have experienced this, but maybe you can give a few more facts.

Where are you living ?

Where is your child ?

Who are you separating from ?

Who has custody of the child now ?

[mickcant]

is going through a separation agreement and i have no idea what to so i want my child with me,can't bear to think i wont be seeing him,any advice please who has gone through same way...will be much appreciated.thank you

Hi eljean,
I am a British man who has just divorced my Filipino wife in the UK, we married in 2008 in the Philippines.

We would need more information such as are both you and your husband living in the UK?

Where and when did you marry?

Mick.

[eljean]

Oh sorry about that it's just that it's been a roller coaster ride for me or us?what had happened to our marriage,he's the one who has given up just because he doesnt want to sort his self out and his priorities in life,but then i think i have just about enough as well,i want a happy marriage life not the one that i keep worrying and fighting against his family and well we got married at the year 2007 i have ilr now,currently working and we have a son i,we are living i malton/norton and i could have applied for brits but i have been busy building a family and a home but then this happens (we had a massive argument and then he calls its quits)oh dear anyway im matured enough to handle this but of course its the first time to happen to me being married and going through this...its tough but i think i am more ready to let him go so at least we can all be happy, i came from a broken home so i know how it suckssss!

[grahamw48]

Hi again.
I live not too far from you (York).

You might consider going to an organisation called 'Relate' first....with or without your partner. They give counselling to couples in your situation.

If you really think that there is no going back to your husband, then you need to see a solicitor in your town who specialises in family and divorce matters.

In most cases in this country (whether us men like it or not) the court gives custody of the child/children to the mother, and that is what is likely to happen in your case....regardless of your immigration or employment status.

You will also receive child benefit and any other govt. benefits that you may qualify for as a single parent.

[beppe]

Take a cooling off period and some counseling.

[SteveL]

I spent the last 3 years of my first marriage trying to hang onto something that was already dead, out of fear and desperation. All it did was cause me to have low self esteem. It isn't worth it. If you think theres a chance and you want a chance, sure get councelling but if it's over dont drag it out.

You will get custody of your child (mothers always do unless they're druggies or something) plus every help from the government. Just one thing, please, please please, no matter what you think of your husband, dont mess him around with visitation rights, speaking as a father whose ex really doesnt like the idea i've got a young new beautiful wife so messes me around often, your son needs to know his father loves and cares for him, even if your not together.

[grahamw48]

your son needs to know his father loves and cares for him, even if your not together.

Absolutely right !

Parents squabbling is awful for the kids too.

Thank goodness my boy lives with ME now, not the ex.... after 5 years of waiting though.

[kate_th]

theres always light after the dark....