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Thread: Help me please!

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    Hi I am a newbie here. basically I need help and friends. I joined my husband here in Nov 06 but the relationship did not turn up good. Now I am worried of myself being here. Please I need some advice regarding my status here. I am in a spouse visa and I am having difficulty understanding my English husband. I got a nice career in PHIL and was hesitant to join him but because I do love him I took the risk. Then It's just over 5 months now we are separated and just living with a Filipina I just met here. I'm just new in England and I don't know much. I still love my husband and want to work things out but a part of me tells me it's not worth trying. He got so much insecurities as well as very disrepectful to his parents. I don't think those are the qualities I am looking for a man or to be my husband forever. I could not concentrate on my job anymore. Does anybody felt this way during there first few months? Should I give up now? If worst comes to worst then when can we get divorced? What happens to my visa then? Is there still any possibility that my visa can be converted to another type of visa? Can somebody be my friend here? Is it possible to get your mobile number? Please do help me.


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    andypaul's Avatar
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    You need to speak to the Cab (citzens advice beuaru) for more legal advice they are in most towns and costs nothing to speak to them.

    A spouse visa is for you to be with your husband, but valid for two years or the time on the stamp in your passport. Its unlikely your get another type of visa to stay with out first going back to phil to apply for one and then it my be doubtful unless its a work visa.

    You maybe homesick and it is best to take time out to think about things.

    Hopeful some of the others on this site can help you more, take care and good luck.


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    Respected Member jta's Avatar
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    hi carmen,

    why u decide to leave him immediately? Is he really bad? since u are here already why not take the chances til u can have ILR?


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    Respected Member Ann07's Avatar
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    hi carmen,

    Take your time to think and reflect deeply every situation.

    take care

    ann


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    Hi Carmen,
    If I'm thinking right you will only be able to stay and work in the uk for the 2 years your visa is valid for then if you and your husband are still apart I think you will not be able to get your ILR, but I'm not 100% sure. As Andypaul said please check it out with the C A B they may be able to give you more advice. Hope everything works out ok for you send me and Ging a private message with your contact mobile or landline phone number and Ging will give you a call.By the way were are you living at the moment, we live in Scotland. take care from Gingx2 and Ricky


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    andypaul's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by carmen View Post
    Hi,

    I don't know how to send you private msgs please advice me how to send you so you could call me.
    i think admin said you had to make so many posts and then select it in the user cp area of the forum (button top left)


  7. #7
    Moderator joebloggs's Avatar
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    yes contact CAB and your local law centre for advice.

    is there any domestic violence? did he hit you ?

    i think you are suppose to inform the home office that you are seperated, and when it comes to claiming ILR you will have a major problem, as you are not living with your husband and this will be grounds for refusing ILR.

    hope things get better for you thou


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    Hi Carmen,
    tried to send you a message but couldnt, so you send me your phone number at this ok.
    susan_billy_boyle@yahoo.com


  9. #9
    Respected Member LadyJ's Avatar
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    Hi Carmen, it's so sad to hear your story. As the other member said go to Citizen Advice Bureau to get advice. You can find your local CAB here http://www.nacab.org.uk/
    Not an expert, I only try to help.


  10. #10
    Respected Member LadyJ's Avatar
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    Anyway, what I think in your case is you are NOT allowed to stay on your visa until it expires...if the marriage has ended, the visa is no longer valid.

    You will need to leave the UK or find another category to switch into NOW!!!

    You need to look through the Home Office pages to see if you have any other grounds on which you can stay.
    Not an expert, I only try to help.


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    andypaul's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by LadyJ View Post
    Anyway, what I think in your case is you are NOT allowed to stay on your visa until it expires...if the marriage has ended, the visa is no longer valid.

    You will need to leave the UK or find another category to switch into NOW!!!

    You need to look through the Home Office pages to see if you have any other grounds on which you can stay.

    Although technically if the marriage is ended then the wife should go straight back.
    But im sure Carmen would find it hard to just fly back unless she has savings.
    If you need to work to save the money to get home its highly unlikely unless your husband or someone else complains very loudly to the visa people anyone will come round to put carmen on a plane.
    if you do have difficulty getting back i know the goverment did offer help for those who had overstayed to go back, not sure how it works but maybe worth looking into if your stuck for a way home.


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    Respected Member jta's Avatar
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    hi Carmen,

    try approach Women's Aid, because there was a thai lady in wales ( my sister's neighbor) never get along with husband before 2 years end, they helped her for council house,etc. Just tell everything what happen they might help u more than council house. Take care...


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    Moderator joebloggs's Avatar
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    iam not so sure, as you have a 2 yr spouse visa, and your problem will be when and if you do apply for ILR, as you both are no longer together, you will be refused ILR, all your husband can do is tell the home office your no longer togther, and thats all he can do, its upto the home office whats happens next...


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    Moderator fred's Avatar
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    Unless its a legal seperation whose to know that they are not still together as a married couple?
    I may be out of my depth here but what if Carmen could just keep her husband sweet enough to play the visa game perhaps there is some hope?
    Just a thought.


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    Respected Member scotsfiancee's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by joebloggs View Post
    iam not so sure, as you have a 2 yr spouse visa, and your problem will be when and if you do apply for ILR, as you both are no longer together, you will be refused ILR, all your husband can do is tell the home office your no longer togther, and thats all he can do, its upto the home office whats happens next...
    Well joe, she must have to contact the home office now and they will advice her what she must do.

    Carmen, have you already started the divorce papers? And one thing, i think you have to report to the Philippines Embassy in London once u divorced.
    Scot ===>

    "The world is all about diversity. I am different and you are different."


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    andypaul's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by joebloggs View Post
    iam not so sure, as you have a 2 yr spouse visa, and your problem will be when and if you do apply for ILR, as you both are no longer together, you will be refused ILR, all your husband can do is tell the home office your no longer togther, and thats all he can do, its upto the home office whats happens next...
    Unless very unlucky they will just send you a text to remind you when your visa is up.


  17. #17
    Moderator joebloggs's Avatar
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    What happens if the relationship breaks down?
    If the relationship ends because of domestic violence, there is a rule under which a spouse can apply to remain in the UK providing certain requirements are met.The relevant rule is rule 289A of the immigration rules. Legal advice should be sought.

    If the UK sponsor dies during the probationary period an application for Indefinite Leave to Remain can still be made by the spouse, providing he or she can show that the relationship was still ongoing at the time of death.The relevant rules are rule 287(b) for bereaved spouses and rule 295M for bereaved unmarried partners.

    If these requirements are not met and the relationship breaks down for other reasons then it is not possible to apply for Indefinite Leave to Remain within the immigration rules. An application outside the rules could be considered if there were special circumstances. Legal advice should be sought.

    from the invisble people at IAS ...


  18. #18
    Moderator fred's Avatar
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    If the UK sponsor dies during the probationary period an application for Indefinite Leave to Remain can still be made by the spouse, providing he or she can show that the relationship
    I hope you are not suggesting ..


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    andypaul's Avatar
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    Joe de hitman bloggs

    but seriously

    one thing i noticed in your first post you were unsure if you wanted to seperate have you looked at getting medation or counsling. even just a joint friend to sit you both down and talk things though?

    A interacial marriage with all the hassles on visa applications and one of the party living so far from home is tough on both parties.

    maybe simply writing letters explaining your points of views and how you feel might help.

    just a thought


  20. #20
    Respected Member beppe's Avatar
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    In my view the visa is conditional to the marriage; if they try to save the marriage, then there should not be any problem as visa concerns.
    If the marriage ends, then it may be wise to report the situation to the competent authority.


  21. #21
    Respected Member eljean's Avatar
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    i been searching for this case....its either one of you will file a divorce here in the uk...becoz divorce is not recognize in the phil only annulment...of course it takes time and money to be legally free from each other....then if the divorce is being legalize report it to the phil embassy of london and if your in the phil report the annulment in the brit embassy of the phil....about you visa its not a problem at the moment you can stay for the 2 years in the uk as you have been granted it already and who knows what will happen within that time....marriage is a very compromising situation as what our olds say its not a hot rice that when your tounge get burn you will just have spill it out
    you just have to wave your hand and make it cool.....
    Filipina a born survivor!


  22. #22
    Respected Member Peanutz's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by andypaul View Post
    Although technically if the marriage is ended then the wife should go straight back.
    But im sure Carmen would find it hard to just fly back unless she has savings.
    If you need to work to save the money to get home its highly unlikely unless your husband or someone else complains very loudly to the visa people anyone will come round to put carmen on a plane.
    if you do have difficulty getting back i know the goverment did offer help for those who had overstayed to go back, not sure how it works but maybe worth looking into if your stuck for a way home.
    I don't understand... What are the rights of a spouse? If I got married with a British citizen what rights will I have in British Civil law?

    Ok in this case, she is in UK with a spouse visa for two years, now things are not going well with her husband, what rights do she have? She doesn't have the rights to remain in UK being married from a UK citizen? She can't practice any rights for being a spouse of a UK citizen? even she is in a provisional spouse visa?
    I should research this.


  23. #23
    andypaul's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Peanutz View Post
    I don't understand... What are the rights of a spouse? If I got married with a British citizen what rights will I have in British Civil law?

    Ok in this case, she is in UK with a spouse visa for two years, now things are not going well with her husband, what rights do she have? She doesn't have the rights to remain in UK being married from a UK citizen? She can't practice any rights for being a spouse of a UK citizen? even she is in a provisional spouse visa?
    I should research this.
    If treated badly i think like Joebloggs wrote you may have right to stay in the Uk.
    But if you both just split up, well in the eyes of the law you were only here to be with your spouse. But unless the goverment start taking notice of you big time i think it unlikely you would need to go back untill your spouse visa run out.
    Sounds tough but seems to be basiclaly the gist of it from what i see.

    If you don't have ILR thats is, if you have ILR well you have the right to remain married or not.


  24. #24
    andypaul's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Peanutz View Post
    I don't understand... What are the rights of a spouse? If I got married with a British citizen what rights will I have in British Civil law?

    Ok in this case, she is in UK with a spouse visa for two years, now things are not going well with her husband, what rights do she have? She doesn't have the rights to remain in UK being married from a UK citizen? She can't practice any rights for being a spouse of a UK citizen? even she is in a provisional spouse visa?
    I should research this.
    Just nosey

    Surely if you have lived in italy for 20 years you have Itailan citzenship or can apply for it? then if EU citzen its a fairly simple process compared to being a phill citzen.


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    Respected Member Peanutz's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by andypaul View Post
    If treated badly i think like Joebloggs wrote you may have right to stay in the Uk.
    But if you both just split up, well in the eyes of the law you were only here to be with your spouse. But unless the goverment start taking notice of you big time i think it unlikely you would need to go back untill your spouse visa run out.
    Sounds tough but seems to be basiclaly the gist of it from what i see.

    If you don't have ILR thats is, if you have ILR well you have the right to remain married or not.
    What I mean to say is, a foreigner wife doesn't aquire any equal rights as all UK citizen wife?
    I mean she doesn't aquire it automatically? not unless she become a UK citizen...sounds a little bit confusing to me, I don't know much about the UK family code but I think I will do a further research about it.


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    Respected Member Peanutz's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by andypaul View Post
    Just nosey

    Surely if you have lived in italy for 20 years you have Itailan citzenship or can apply for it? then if EU citzen its a fairly simple process compared to being a phill citzen.
    Actually I was about to apply my citizenship before meeting my fiancè (have thought about it a long time ago but as you also know processing all documents needs time and money), I am living here as a permanent resident I can stay here whenever I want and now I am blaming me self for not applying it a long time ago (I am hearing my mom voice), anyway I have not had felt the need of being an Italian citizen even if I work for the Italian Government. Sigh* I know that it would be much easier if I did it a long time ago, but you never think of this things until you have to deal with it.


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    andypaul's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Peanutz View Post
    What I mean to say is, a foreigner wife doesn't aquire any equal rights as all UK citizen wife?
    I mean she doesn't aquire it automatically? not unless she become a UK citizen...sounds a little bit confusing to me, I don't know much about the UK family code but I think I will do a further research about it.

    Well from what i see if the person is a resident with the right to remain in big divorce cases or ones i hear about locally they are the same as two british citzens. The spouse visa holders is a bit of a grey area and you would need to define "rights" a bit more.

    There are many people who are ilr holders and never become citzens and as far as i can see they have the same rights legally apart from holding a british passport which makes traveling abroad easier sometimes.

    Do remeber in the UK the partner who earns less or has less assets can claim off the other not always the husband gives to the wife.

    Basically treated a lot better than a brit would be by the Phill goverment in the same situation i would guess.


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    andypaul's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Peanutz View Post
    Actually I was about to apply my citizenship before meeting my fiancè (have thought about it a long time ago but as you also know processing all documents needs time and money), I am living here as a permanent resident I can stay here whenever I want and now I am blaming me self for not applying it a long time ago (I am hearing my mom voice), anyway I have not had felt the need of being an Italian citizen even if I work for the Italian Government. Sigh* I know that it would be much easier if I did it a long time ago, but you never think of this things until you have to deal with it.
    I understand what you mean but its a good lesson for us all. It would be easy for my wife to gain ilr and leave citzenship for a few years. But how that might affect our future who knows.
    Hope all goes well maybe you can get tri citzenship brit, italia and pinay (be intresting to know if you can)


  29. #29
    Respected Member Peanutz's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by andypaul View Post
    I understand what you mean but its a good lesson for us all. It would be easy for my wife to gain ilr and leave citzenship for a few years. But how that might affect our future who knows.
    Hope all goes well maybe you can get tri citzenship brit, italia and pinay (be intresting to know if you can)
    To attain an Italian citizenship it will take two years before they approved it, and I think your wife should get her British citizenship cause it would be a lot easier to travel, I have not traveled much lately in countries where I am subject to obtain a visa (last year I just traveled to UK and here and I obtained a 6 month visitor visa in just a week). I don't know if a tri citizenship is allowed in Pi-It-Uk government, anyway I will let you know if it's possible!


  30. #30
    Respected Member Peanutz's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by andypaul View Post
    Well from what i see if the person is a resident with the right to remain in big divorce cases or ones i hear about locally they are the same as two british citzens. The spouse visa holders is a bit of a grey area and you would need to define "rights" a bit more.

    There are many people who are ilr holders and never become citzens and as far as i can see they have the same rights legally apart from holding a british passport which makes traveling abroad easier sometimes.

    Do remeber in the UK the partner who earns less or has less assets can claim off the other not always the husband gives to the wife.

    Basically treated a lot better than a brit would be by the Phill goverment in the same situation i would guess.
    Holding a British passport makes travelling abroad a lot more easier, to claim assets between a divorcing couple is quite an intrinsic matter. The grounds on divorce are more complicated than investigating a crime, I guess...

    Anyway, I hope not to encounter that kind of problem in all my life ever!


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