I don't think anyone called him a 'jerk'.

The OP seemed to be saying that she WANTED to work (or otherwise occupy herself away from the home).

My boy was certainly never looked after by anyone but his mother or myself, from birth, and that's the way we both wanted it.

That didn't stop her from working full-time (by choice) before he was born, and part-time from home afterwards.

It should be an equal partnership IMO.