:( here...why some husbands dont want to let their wife work?????? why why why???

[dontpushme]

I didn't say anyone called him a jerk, but from all the negative comments about him so far (e.g., selfish, insecure, etc), they might as well have called him one. Doesn't anyone else feel that all this speculation isn't going to help unless the husband in question actually knows there's an issue and understands what he's taking away from kate_th when he refuses to let her work? I agree with Peanutz, noone knows what happens behind closed doors.

If I got "Not applicable. Change the question" as an answer, I'd be mad enough to scream. But I'm sure he has his reasons. We don't even know if kate_th had any indirect or non-verbal clues to his reasons. Is the husband selfish in general? Is he bragging to his buddies that he is her lifeline? Is he treating her like a fragile child? Is he hinting at children in the very near future? I read the posts and it's mostly speculation because all we know from kate_th is (1) she wants to work and he won't let her, and (2) she asked him why he wouldn't let her work and he gave a non-answer. We don't really know the facts or his side, for that matter.

[grahamw48]

I didn't say anyone called him a jerk, but from all the negative comments about him so far (e.g., selfish, insecure, etc), they might as well have called him one. Doesn't anyone else feel that all this speculation isn't going to help unless the husband in question actually knows there's an issue and understands what he's taking away from kate_th when he refuses to let her work? I agree with Peanutz, noone knows what happens behind closed doors.

If I got "Not applicable. Change the question" as an answer, I'd be mad enough to scream. But I'm sure he has his reasons. We don't even know if kate_th had any indirect or non-verbal clues to his reasons. Is the husband selfish in general? Is he bragging to his buddies that he is her lifeline? Is he treating her like a fragile child? Is he hinting at children in the very near future? I read the posts and it's mostly speculation because all we know from kate_th is (1) she wants to work and he won't let her, and (2) she asked him why he wouldn't let her work and he gave a non-answer. We don't really know the facts or his side, for that matter.

You used the word 'jerk'.

Please re-read my original post.

I was not suggesting HE was anything....merely setting out possible reasons for his behaviour.

The lady asked a question, and answers were given by all posters based on the information provided, and probably personal experience.

Of course it would be helpful to have every last detail of the couples' personal life written on a public website, but I can quite understand the OP not wishing to do that.

[gWaPito]

I didn't say anyone called him a jerk, but from all the negative comments about him so far (e.g., selfish, insecure, etc), they might as well have called him one. Doesn't anyone else feel that all this speculation isn't going to help unless the husband in question actually knows there's an issue and understands what he's taking away from kate_th when he refuses to let her work? I agree with Peanutz, noone knows what happens behind closed doors.

If I got "Not applicable. Change the question" as an answer, I'd be mad enough to scream. But I'm sure he has his reasons. We don't even know if kate_th had any indirect or non-verbal clues to his reasons. Is the husband selfish in general? Is he bragging to his buddies that he is her lifeline? Is he treating her like a fragile child? Is he hinting at children in the very near future? I read the posts and it's mostly speculation because all we know from kate_th is (1) she wants to work and he won't let her, and (2) she asked him why he wouldn't let her work and he gave a non-answer. We don't really know the facts or his side, for that matter.

This is a very good balanced reply...for what its worth, a reputation on its way

Apart from the husband and wife in question, none of us know the story. All we are getting is the slanted view of a 23yo wife. After all this moaning she still loves him so, he cant be that bad.

Peanuts is right, you are all blah blah without substance.

I know if I were your husband I wouldn't be best pleased with what you said.

Unfortunately yayas dont come 2 a penny here, we all have to muck in.

I for one will not have a nanny bring up my child all because the mother wants to go out and explore her possibilities......what utter nonsense. The little chap would probably end up having lithuanian as his mother tongue, God forbid.

Strange how some quickly forget where they come from then, in an instance want the world.

Your husband knows you better than anyone on here. I'd be inclined to take his advice

[joebloggs]

I for one will not have a nanny bring up my child all because the mother wants to go out and explore her possibilities......what utter nonsense. The little chap would probably end up having lithuanian as his mother tongue, God forbid.

Strange how some quickly forget where they come from then, in an instance want the world.

Your husband knows you better than anyone on here. I'd be inclined to take his advice

it good to see you would quit work and bring up your child gwapito and not use a nanny so your wife could work

and whats wrong with Lithuanians , i suppose its ok for the child to learn tag

my stepson brought little joe up for a yr, then we've used an excellent register childminder (kim your a ) for the last 7yrs, shes like a second mother to my kids

[gWaPito]

it good to see you would quit work and bring up your child gwapito and not use a nanny so your wife could work

and whats wrong with Lithuanians , i suppose its ok for the child to learn tag

my stepson brought little joe up for a yr, then we've used an excellent register childminder (kim your a ) for the last 7yrs, shes like a second mother to my kids

We dont go in for second mothers, thank you very much. Note I said 'we'.

Obviously if money was an issue then we would of thought long and hard about having our little chipmunk in the first place.

Im talking about his early years up to 5 (the most informative years of a human beings life)

Nothing wrong with learning tag. Its going to be his one of his dual languages after all. Lithuanian and Polish isn't.

Of course Jane will return to work but, like she says 'when im able to'. That's nothing to do with me. Jane's her own woman

[joebloggs]

We dont go in for second mothers, thank you very much. Note I said 'we'.

Obviously if money was an issue then we would of thought long and hard about having our little chipmunk in the first place.

Im talking about his early years up to 5 (the most informative years of a human beings life)

Nothing wrong with learning tag. Its going to be his one of his dual languages after all. Lithuanian and Polish isn't.

Of course Jane will return to work but, like she says 'when im able to'. That's nothing to do with me. Jane's her own woman

you can never have enough mothers

its not just money, how much day time tv can someone take , since i first chatted to the misses i've encouraged her to do what she wants, i'd never TELL her what to do

i think polish would be more useful than Tag in the UK being Europeans

good your wife is her own woman Gawapito and not one who is told what to do