true, a lot of filipinas wants to be here in the UK but when they are here they wanna go back to the PH,...weirdOriginally Posted by blackcat22
Next time you're dating a filipino from phils tell em you're the one moving to them in phils and if they're still with you 6 months after you say that to them then it's a good test she is not after using you for UK passport
but what happens if a filipina wants to test the bloke ????...i think it will involve lots and lots of money too
''Don't be serious..Be Sincere''
Being a human psychology graduate helps in understanding this complicated maze of foreign relationshipsI think you are trying to tell someone how to suck eggs, and what makes you such an authority to judge Mick's situationA little condesending don't you think ?
It's not hard to work it out. Just take a sample study of even about 50 members on here nearly correct if not spot on.
on another note, i'm currently courting a filipino lady at the moment and putting her through my own invented "scam test" as you never know but so far she has passed but it's still early days yet.
Garycrambs I have no experience on this but you do sound concern for your friend. If you really think she is in distress with her husband you can probably advise her to save up her salary so she can stabilise herself in philippines in case they have divorce.Like maybe put a little business their. Your friend sound very hard working so she handle this. As for yourself weigh the pros and cons of the situation before you commit yourself into anything.
I do hope you take on board all the advices......All the best!!!!
Well I guess I passed the test then, since the ex and I lived together for over 9 months in the Phils before she came here.
Phew, that's a relief, I can get on with my life now.
Not everyone will fit your 'graduated' view on life and relationships. I still think what you said was pretty insensitive towards a member who has been through a really bad time. I am sure your lady will be thrilled that you trust her so much that you are scam testing her. Maybe she is infact testing youBeing a human psychology graduate helps in understanding this complicated maze of foreign relationships
If you want your dreams to come true ...... first you have to wake up
THE ONLY WAY TO FIND OUT IS, PAY SOMEONE U KNOW TO GET YOU A COPY OF CENOMAR (certificate of no marriage) it can be a relative of her to apply for it, and if she did not finalize it and file in NSO her divorce with u, it will show in that certificate that she is still married to u! by then she is considered as bigamist!!! i reckon her marriage with u still exist in phil NSO,, by the way did u marry in phils\?My ex did the petitioning, and now has re-married (I didn't see why I should have to pay), so she's a bigamist ?
She also had British Citizenship/Naturalisation (before her second marriage).
I wonder how that effects things in the Phils.
Marlyn & Kenny forever
Yes, we were married at Pasay City Hall, Manila.
I think if there was some procedure to go through in the Phils to notify of our divorce HERE, she would have done it though.
But, I thought divorce wasn't recognised in the Phils anyway.
what do you think of us 'lab rats'?even if u take a sample of 50 members, what is that sample size to the whole population in this forum? you must know that a small sample size such as being only 10 percent of the total population will bear no significant result....you should also know that there are countless variables one has to consider before you come up with a conclusion.....cut the crap
love makes life worth living
Nicely put sweetnotewhat do you think of us 'lab rats'?
Some really interesting insights here to be honest but all I can do is think about how I would feel if this was my "wife" carrying on with someone else like this.
My life is lived with a simple statement - "what goes around comes around" so just bear that in mind in the future, you have a close age gap so thats a good thing but until you can answer every question with a positive and conclusive yes (for yourself) then you should be very careful.
If her husband is abusive and or violent you should also consider your own personal safety what happens if someone comes after you and her?
I am not trying to sensationalise anything but expect the unexpected.
Good luck whichever route you take but personally I would walk away.
Tone
My best friend has been married to a Filipina now for over 15 years. He's 20 years her senior.
My ex-wife's sister, 2 cousins, and her niece have been happily married to Europeans for between 10 and 25 years. There is an age gap of at least 10 years and up to 20+ years between husband and wives.
Of course I'm sure they're all exceptions to some rule or other.
Of course its not hard to work out using your extremely simplistic formula but, I think your analogy is floored.
Using the same number testing new drugs would you consider it satisfactory? I think not. The population consists of 60 plus million not one of a desert Island.
Steve R is correct in my opinion, your comments are condescending.
Btw I hadn't read Sweetnote's post which was pointing out the same as I. Apologies
I got to agree. The saying 'what goes around comes around' is one I truly believe. I could site numerous instances where this has happened to swines who've done me wrong.
Like Tone said, if she's willing to wast her current husband the future doesn't look good for Gary.
Nicely put sweetnoteI have no intention to offend him but what he said really boils my blood.....peace all!
and I agree with tone "what goes around comes around"
love makes life worth living
i agree with you, gwapito
love makes life worth living
Before you go any further you need to find out the truth. Her story maybe genuine or she could be telling a pack of lies. If it's the latter, stay well clear!
If it isn't I wouldn't feel guilty about homing in on some other guys chick if he was using her as his skivvy, and I wouldn't blame her for leaving him even though she's married. I don't think anyone should stay in an unhappy relationship. Life's too short. Worn that t-shirt and it's not worth it!
huh!! How can suggestion to limit chances of being scammed or con again be insensitive? It's a personal tragedy when you feel you've been conned or scammed so this is not my intention. My sincere apology if it came across that way.Not everyone will fit your 'graduated' view on life and relationships. I still think what you said was pretty insensitive towards a member who has been through a really bad time. I am sure your lady will be thrilled that you trust her so much that you are scam testing her. Maybe she is infact testing you
Absolutely will welcome a lady to put me to a test also. As a matter of fact i'm sure you all know scammers and con artists exist in both male and female sexes. Only we hear more about the females but it also exist on the male side.
I know a friend who took advantage of number of propositions he get from filipino women and heads over there to have his wicked ways with one then drop her like a fly and move on to the next one on his lists leaving a trail of broken heart filipino womenr behind him. So how do filipino women protect themselves from someone like this? So yeah they also have to be on their guard and test the sincerity of the men before they commit.
Filipina's are very emotional if they had a very bad trauma. She is lucky to have a concerned friend (boyfriend) like you. Year 2008, Filipino fiancées and spouses of foreign citizens who are leaving the country are required to attend the Commission on Filipinos Overseas (CFO) guidance and counseling programs in order to secure the Guidance and Counseling Certificate (GCC) and the CFO sticker. This Pre-Departure Orientation Seminar (P.D.O.S) is a pre-requisite to the issuance of passports. THIS PROGRAM HELPS Filipino fiancées and spouses of foreign nationals make informed decisions regarding their marriage to foreign nationals and to prepare them for their adjustments in cross-cultural marriages. The two-hour seminar include topics about migration laws, welfare and support services available in their country of destination, their rights overseas; and tips on how to cope up if in case there’ll be problematic or difficult domestic situations.
WE are given books, leaflets of website where to contact if in case we encountered things like that of what u mentioned. TALK to her about this. She may contact the helpful filipino links from the list, she can find a lot of filipinos who are a member of a Filipino community where she can find help like solicitors & advisers.
It's hard to judge her as I've seen the unbelievable true to life stories from the seminar of how Filipina wives are being treated. It's scary and distressful. There's one wife who was treated like a prisoner and a sex slave & a lot of stories never been told in the public.
If she is unhappy, she should give any close Filipina friend a shout that she needs help & I'm sure she can find one. A year is quiet long for her to suffer.
Hope she can find help about this matter.
If you can't say something nice.
SHUT UP!. Simple.
We had to attend that back in 1991.
@ rrr....I have no experience on this but you do sound concern for your friend. If you really think she is in distress with her husband you can probably advise her to save up her salary so she can stabilise herself in philippines in case they have divorce.Like maybe put a little business their. Your friend sound very hard working so she handle this. As for yourself weigh the pros and cons of the situation before you commit yourself into anything.
Update. It seems I have opened rather a diverse can of worms here. I thank you all for your comments but especially those who do not instantly draw the conclusion that I am some ''rouge'' trying to steal another mans wife, or that the lady is simply ''playing'' the field. Having spent a little time exploring this very imformative site (where the immediate assumption is that if an English guy has any form of communication with a Filipino girl it is for relationship purpose or marriage) I can fully understand the comments from members suggesting this.But I have to tell you this is not the case in this situation. Remember I met the lady in question socially (not via any dating website or format). At the time I met her I was totally unaware of her situation,.. so yes then I could have considered a possible relationship. Under the present circumstances there is no intention of any form of relationship from either side other than concerned friendship. So I am not attempting to steal another mans wife nor Is the lady attempting to ''hustle'' me in some way,as has been suggested. The lady came to the uk having been convinced by the promises of her now husband of a better life for her and her children. What she has told me is the truth and she has evidence of police intervention ( the first only four days after her marriage). Untill very recently (when she started attending the local catholic church and met other filipino people) she had been kept a virtual prisoner due to her lack of knowledge of the uk and our procedures. She has to work very long hours to support herself and her two children with no finacial aid from her ''husband''. He only provides her with a place to live in return (now) for domestic services. Previously (and I do not know how to phrase this) it had been suggested that ''other sexually related services'' would be expected. Not with her husband however but with the husbands grown son who only four days after her ''marriage'' attempted to contrive her into a physical relationship with him.Filipina's are very emotional if they had a very bad trauma. She is lucky to have a concerned friend (boyfriend) like you. Year 2008, Filipino fiancées and spouses of foreign citizens who are leaving the country are required to attend the Commission on Filipinos Overseas (CFO) guidance and counseling programs in order to secure the Guidance and Counseling Certificate (GCC) and the CFO sticker. This Pre-Departure Orientation Seminar (P.D.O.S) is a pre-requisite to the issuance of passports. THIS PROGRAM HELPS Filipino fiancées and spouses of foreign nationals make informed decisions regarding their marriage to foreign nationals and to prepare them for their adjustments in cross-cultural marriages. The two-hour seminar include topics about migration laws, welfare and support services available in their country of destination, their rights overseas; and tips on how to cope up if in case there’ll be problematic or difficult domestic situations.
WE are given books, leaflets of website where to contact if in case we encountered things like that of what u mentioned. TALK to her about this. She may contact the helpful filipino links from the list, she can find a lot of filipinos who are a member of a Filipino community where she can find help like solicitors & advisers.
It's hard to judge her as I've seen the unbelievable true to life stories from the seminar of how Filipina wives are being treated. It's scary and distressful. There's one wife who was treated like a prisoner and a sex slave & a lot of stories never been told in the public.
If she is unhappy, she should give any close Filipina friend a shout that she needs help & I'm sure she can find one. A year is quiet long for her to suffer.
Hope she can find help about this matter.
This threat has however been removed.
She has proof that whilst refusing to give her and her children any financial support, her ''husband'' is sending money to three other females from the Filipenes that he contacted via one of the many websites.
He openly chats to these females in her presence via yahoo and seems to obtain some sort of weird pleasure from the distress he causes her by doing this. He constantly threatens her both physically and emotionally in an attempt to control her. The latest threat being that if she does not continue to comply he will issue divorce proceedings against her ( not sure wht grounds he could use though) and instantly get the home office to deport her and her two children whilst he visits one of his new ladies in the filipenes to persue marriage to her. Her only wish at the moment is to be able to remain in the uk for the sake of her childrens future and it seem she is prepared to undergo any unhappiness herself to achive this (she is afraid to take any actual legal action against her husband for fear she will not be belived) as the alternative is for her and her children to be sent back to the filipenes, where she has nothing. She even sold belongings, clothes, etc two days prior to her departure from the filipenes to help raise money to assist her husband with costs. I am very concerned for her and as a British citizen ( just a normal guy, not some devious rouge) I am ashamed that such a situation exists in the Uk today. I have told her to seek help from the C A B but she has no confidence to do anything as her ''husband'' has convinced her that most of what she tells them would be ignored as she is simply a Filipino wife, a foreigner, who's accusations against him as a uk citizen would be ignored. I wonder how many other innocent Women from the filipenes are undergoing simialr circumstances maybe many . Surley there is some means for her to escape this without the risk of being deported. I await further insight. Thank you
Can I ask how old you are(scratch that,I just saw your 46 years old,ever been married before?)?The latest threat being that if she does not continue to comply he will issue divorce proceedings against her ( not sure wht grounds he could use though) and instantly get the home office to deport her and her two children whilst he visits one of his new ladies in the filipenes to persue marriage to her.
Ever thought your just being spun a line?I know for a fact just how manipulative some pinays are and how gullible some western guys are who arent exactly worldly-wise,not saying this is you but that last post seemed a little innocent
Never buy these tear-jerky stories unless their is proof-positive,it reads like a pinoy tele-novela,sorry for my cynicism.her ''husband'' has convinced her that most of what she tells them would be ignored as she is simply a Filipino wife, a foreigner, who's accusations against him as a uk citizen would be ignored.
Sometimes you're flush and sometimes you're bust, and when you're up, it's never as good as it seems, and when you're down, you never think you'll be up again. But life goes on.
The beauty of a woman is not in the clothes she wears, the figure that she carries, or the way she combs her hair. The beauty of a woman is seen in her eyes, because that is the doorway to her heart, the place where love resides. True beauty in a woman is reflected in her soul. It's the passion that she shows to the outside world.
The answer is quite simple.
Give her the telephone number of social services and the local 'battered' wives shelter.
Obviously if the lady IS being used and abused I have every sympathy with her, but there are plenty of agencies who will be able to help.
While talking the other evening she told me that the filipino way was for me to ask her to be my girlfriend. I did and she accepted.So which is itUnder the present circumstances there is no intention of any form of relationship from either side other than concerned friendship
Sometimes you're flush and sometimes you're bust, and when you're up, it's never as good as it seems, and when you're down, you never think you'll be up again. But life goes on.
The beauty of a woman is not in the clothes she wears, the figure that she carries, or the way she combs her hair. The beauty of a woman is seen in her eyes, because that is the doorway to her heart, the place where love resides. True beauty in a woman is reflected in her soul. It's the passion that she shows to the outside world.
There are a lot of Filipina naive victims everywhere in the world GaryCrambs. I even have one friend now who's married for 7 years and yet despite of all the abuse, she still loves him & very loyal to him. What can I do?
In your friend's case...hope she can talk to her filipino friends from the church about it.
I still have here my "Handbook for Filipino Spouses and other partners of British Nationals". It's all about settling in the uk, rights, all forms of domestic abuse, etc....
Please give this link to her:
Support Network in the United Kingdom
London:
Hammersmith Office
St. Albans Church Community Centre
2 Margravine Road, London WV6 8HJ
Tel No: (020) 7381-2600
Fax No: (020) 7381-2484
email: cf@clara.net
Centre for Filipinos
Camden Office
59 Chalton Street, London NW1 1HY
Tel No: (020) 7388-5845
Fax No: (020) 7383-7520
email: cfcamden@homechoice.co.uk
anything else, let her talk to the Phil Embassy. For sure they can assist her to any links about her status.
Philippine Embassy London
6-8 Suffolk Street
London SW1Y 4HG
020 7451 1780
mailto:embassy@philemb.co.uk
9.00am - 1.00pm and 2.00pm - 5.00pm
Monday thru Friday, except Philippine and UK holidays.
Assistance to Nationals
020 7451 1826
atnlondonpe@philemb.co.uk
Somebody refered to me a Filipina Solicitor in London, I just can't retrieve it thru my emails. But if I find it, I will let u know.
Hope this helps. Wish her all the best & luck
Yes I realise it sounds like somethig you would view on a tv soap but Fact is that it is the truth. I f you read all of my postings you will see that the basis of what she is saying has been confirmed by mutual friends and that i have seen copies of the police statements she has made (and i do know what one looks like) together with a letter from her husband promising to amend his ways following seperation just 12 weeks after their marriage. And in the event she is spinning a line as you say why? what would she have to gain from me there is no relationship between us ! And yes I have been married before twice and not a sucker for a sob story. This is genuine . I tried to keep the posting as simple as possible perhaps that is why it seems ''innocent'' The reality is not so simple very complicated in fact and if it were some sort of story for sympathy or whatever it is one hell of an elobarate situation for a person to contriveCan I ask how old you are(scratch that,I just saw your 46 years old,ever been married before?)?
Ever thought your just being spun a line?I know for a fact just how manipulative some pinays are and how gullible some western guys are who arent exactly worldly-wise,not saying this is you but that last post seemed a little innocent
Never buy these tear-jerky stories unless their is proof-positive,it reads like a pinoy tele-novela,sorry for my cynicism.
You think THATS elaborateThe reality is not so simple very complicated in fact and if it were some sort of story for sympathy or whatever it is one hell of an elobarate situation for a person to contrive
Didnt you ask to be her boyfriend?what would she have to gain from me there is no relationship between us
Sometimes you're flush and sometimes you're bust, and when you're up, it's never as good as it seems, and when you're down, you never think you'll be up again. But life goes on.
The beauty of a woman is not in the clothes she wears, the figure that she carries, or the way she combs her hair. The beauty of a woman is seen in her eyes, because that is the doorway to her heart, the place where love resides. True beauty in a woman is reflected in her soul. It's the passion that she shows to the outside world.
To confirm the situation with regard to the ''girlfriend'' . I met the lady having been invited to a party hosted by a male, english, friend and his filipino wife. We chatted, seemed to get along so I asked her if she would like to meet for coffee sometime. We met a couple of times during the second meet I asked her if she would consider going on an actual date with me for dinner (remember at this time I knew nothing of her situation she had only spoken of her children and work etc) . She then light heartedly said that if she were to go on a date with me it was the filipino way for me to ask her to be my girlfriend. So laughingly I said ''ok will you be my girlfriend'' . It was then that she explained to me that she could not and went on to disclose her situation. Since then , yes we have met , but only as friends (used in the english terminology) . But mostly spoken over the phone were more and more of her obscure situation has been revealed. Does that clarify. ??So which is it
Yes it does clarify,you shed more light on this time than your title "I have a philippine girlfriend" andwas for me to ask her to be my girlfriend. I did and she accepted.??? Neither of which sounded jokey or lighthearted,my apologies but I guess time has hardened or innured me to these sort of tales as they all roll into one and seem similar,good luck in whatever you decide to doIt was then that she explained to me that she could not
Sometimes you're flush and sometimes you're bust, and when you're up, it's never as good as it seems, and when you're down, you never think you'll be up again. But life goes on.
The beauty of a woman is not in the clothes she wears, the figure that she carries, or the way she combs her hair. The beauty of a woman is seen in her eyes, because that is the doorway to her heart, the place where love resides. True beauty in a woman is reflected in her soul. It's the passion that she shows to the outside world.
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