Can you translate plz this text from tagalog or bisayan to english? (it's critical)

[Tawi2]

saeryoso ba ka sa akoa or wala?

Wala!
He: Baby, you are fat then but you are still beautiful and fair(white).(Thats correct mate,tell her she is fat,thats sure to win her over )
SHE : hahaha Thank You(she is dumb enough to actually THANK him for calling her fat?This chat is comedic gold).
HE: Yes my Baby, How are you now? (His chat up lines are uber-cheesy)
SHE: I am Ok, You? WHy are you online?
HE: I am also ok, On sunday I will depart, the schedule was changed. I love you.
SHE: What!!! Its already on SUnday???
HE: Yes, I will just call you tomorrow. I miss you my baby
SHE: Lets have Yahoo messenger for a moment.


Dump her mate,let him have the hassle of her.And she is fat (according to him anyway)and isnt as smart as she thinks she is.

[Steve.r]

Wala!
He: Baby, you are fat then but you are still beautiful and fair(white).(Thats correct mate,tell her she is fat,thats sure to win her over )
SHE : hahaha Thank You(she is dumb enough to actually THANK him for calling her fat?This chat is comedic gold).
HE: Yes my Baby, How are you now? (His chat up lines are uber-cheesy)
SHE: I am Ok, You? WHy are you online?
HE: I am also ok, On sunday I will depart, the schedule was changed. I love you.
SHE: What!!! Its already on SUnday???
HE: Yes, I will just call you tomorrow. I miss you my baby
SHE: Lets have Yahoo messenger for a moment.


Dump her mate,let him have the hassle of her.And she is fat (according to him anyway)and isnt as smart as she thinks she is.

I would love to read the whole lot, I'm at this.

On a serious note though..... dump her