need your thoughts.

[driftersthought]

hi everyone,

im actually not new to this site. a friend had introduced me to this forum and since i needed to know info about filipino-english relationship and so i decided to sign up like more than a year ago but never posted anything. that time i was frequently browsing this site and found it very helpful.

i came back to this site today and registered a new username. its because i dont want my ex to see that im ranting here since he introduced me to this site, i have a feeling he is browsing this site as well but not sure if he had registered (i hope not )

anyway, my ex and i had just broken up our almost 2 years relationship. im feeling really sad and has no one to confide with. we had a smooth relationship and never had a major misunderstanding. to be honest, i thought he would be the one for me as i have been reading a lot of good stories from this site.

my ex was everything a woman could ask for more. i can say that he got the same from me. well, some good things never really last. i am still trying to recover from this painful experience and wish that i could move on with my life. i know that he has moved on now and i am left here, shattered.

oh the reason why i posted my story is that i wanted to know the englishmen's insight. was i a fool to believe that i will have a happy ending with my english ex? or, this thing is really not happening?

thanks everyone.

[Terpe]

Hi there driftersthought, welcome (or welcome back)

I'm sorry to learn that your relationship did not work out as you had hoped

Can't say anything from an Englishman's insight as you don't mention anything about what happened.

In most relationships 'endings' are not happy.

It's so sad that you are shattered, whilst he appears to have moved on.
I hope you can feel some support here by sharing.

[grahamw48]

Hi, and welcome to the forum.

Did you ever meet your ex in person ?

[driftersthought]

i forgot to mention that our relationship before had no complications, we are both single and no kids & both have a stable job.

reason why we broke up was too much work pressure and busy schedule.

we me a lot of times already in our almost 2-years relationship. around 8 times.

i need enlightenment... and encouragement to move on. thank you

[grahamw48]

I don't see why your b/f's nationality would have made him any less 'reliable' than any other nationality.

[driftersthought]

hi terpe & graham,

thanks for your replies... same people that are first ones to reply in every new post

i posted more info about our relationship before. sorry, forgot to post it earlier

[Terpe]

I don't see why your b/f's nationality would have made him any less 'reliable' than any other nationality.

I also have to agree with that driftersthought, why do you believe nationality matters?

[driftersthought]

I don't see why your b/f's nationality would have made him any less 'reliable' than any other nationality.

i understand. or maybe happy ending was not really bound to happen to us.

[driftersthought]

I also have to agree with that driftersthought, why do you believe nationality matters?

because that was the first time i had a relationship with other nationality. although, what we had was really smooth. never had a big argument and we make sure to fix it in a matter of hours.

oh well, i think im on the phase of accepting that its really not meant to be. i will be fine soon. thanks again

[fred]

If he`s browsing the forum and perhaps your posts,Im sure it wouldn't take us very long to find out.. It`ll need his username though.. at least then you will know if he may be reading this thread or not..
If you would rather not post the username , thats fine but as you are a new member you will not have access to Private messaging to Mods or Admin..
Not sure what else to suggest?
Anyway, you will probably make tons of friends here regardless!!
Regards,
Fred.

[driftersthought]

thanks fred. actually, im not sure if he registered here or still checking this website. he gave me this site's link as we were checking about visa plans... and now, all research will be put to waste hehe

[driftersthought]

and yes, i would like to make new friends here. its sad to have no one to speak with.

[driftersthought]

oh, my previous post didnt show up or was it deleted? @fred

[fred]

and yes, i would like to make new friends here. its sad to have no one to speak with.

Then you have definitely come to the right place..
As a new girl member,I feel I must warn you..Watch out for any of that Graham characters sweet talk ..He may have ulterior motives...
Your much safer chatting with me IMO..

[fred]

thanks fred. actually, im not sure if he registered here or still checking this website. he gave me this site's link as we were checking about visa plans... and now, all research will be put to waste hehe

oh, my previous post didnt show up or was it deleted? @fred

Hey!!!! I didnt touch a thing!!! Not intentionally any way..

BTW...Where are you from? Province...Tel.No,Address etc?

[driftersthought]

haha probably graham has charmed a lot of women here

thanks fred for being nice

[driftersthought]

Hey!!!! I didnt touch a thing!!! Not intentionally any way..

BTW...Where are you from? Province...Tel.No,Address etc?

haha u put it back. just proved that u have super powers in this website )

i live and work in the capital of PH

[fred]

Ahhh...OK... Im much further South in Bohol although we do have a place just outside MM..
Anyway...Its late!!! Good night!!
welcome to the Forum BTW
regards,
Fred.

[driftersthought]

oh wow, lovely place!!! u must be enjoying the beautiful beach in bohol.

ok goodnight, and thanks again

[sars_notd_virus]

i forgot to mention that our relationship before had no complications, we are both single and no kids & both have a stable job.

reason why we broke up was too much work pressure and busy schedule.

we me a lot of times already in our almost 2-years relationship. around 8 times.

i need enlightenment... and encouragement to move on. thank you

welcome back driftersthought!!

third party (busy schedule/work) in a relationship is a no no...there should be balance,give and take,compromise,tolerance and most of all communication and ''quality time'' ,a lot of men loves to have someone to look after them even both of them are busy working,they need a lot of pampering....like a little baby..


you will know what to do next time, but for now smile and keep on moving

[driftersthought]

welcome back driftersthought!!

third party (busy schedule/work) in a relationship is a no no...there should be balance,give and take,compromise,tolerance and most of all communication and ''quality time'' ,a lot of men loves to have someone to look after them even both of them are busy working,they need a lot of pampering....like a little baby..


you will know what to do next time, but for now smile and keep on moving

i know sars. sometimes i thought that it would be better if he had other gf than dumping me coz of his busy work schedule. haha sounds weird though. i always tell him to balance his work and personal life but maybe i put on too much pressure on him.

i am moving on. hope i can stand up and rearrange my life soon

[stevewool]

work is very stressfull for both parties, make time for each other do things for each other a little treat here and there and always say i love yo go along way to being happy,think its his lost and move on there are lots of happy people on here and like mentioned Graham can sweet talk anyone, even me

[driftersthought]

work is very stressfull for both parties, make time for each other do things for each other a little treat here and there and always say i love yo go along way to being happy,think its his lost and move on there are lots of happy people on here and like mentioned Graham can sweet talk anyone, even me

no use to make time for each other. we are separated already hehe.

oh where's graham anyway? probably busy charming girls here LOL. just kidding graham

[grahamw48]

WHO is this Graham character ?

[Farmerg]

[tone]

I'll give you my point of view although really basic point of view!

I broke up with my old gf after 10 years together and the main reason was we allowed each other to travel the world and chase our income. We spent months apart both very successful in our chosen careers and making a lot of income.
I was sent to Kuala lumpur for 9 months and initially she was supposed to come out after 3 months for 3 months but she was more focused on her job and took a new contract rather than coming out to see me.
I met my Mahal during that time and I told her she needs to come out if I meant anything to her. She came for 10 days whilst I had an operation and to be honest she made the situation worse and we didn't get on. The damage was done.
I pointed out money wasn't everything and by Xmas it was over. For me I did have a new love interest so it was easier but the point is we didn't make enough time for each other although there were other problems in our relationship this just made me realise we need to split.
She is still devastated but I've moved on and planning for a new house, and getting married to a girl who is everything my old gf wasn't.

So whilst one door closes another will open.

Going forward for me - I have a high pressure job, but when I get home I'm in husband mode and work will get parked until the next day, right now living alone I do about 70 hours a week, but when my Mahal arrives no more then 10 hrs a day for me!
The value of a relationship is paramount now I don't wanna split up in the future this one is for life.

The bottom line is time and effort is required from both partners and you only get out of it what you put in.

You can learn from the past and it can shape the future but I for one will learn from the past and make sure it doesn't happen in my future.

We are masters of our destinies...
Tone

[driftersthought]

WHO is this Graham character ?

not sure. but someone told me he sweet talks everyone including men do u happen to know this person?

[driftersthought]

hi farmerg

[driftersthought]

I'll give you my point of view although really basic point of view!

I broke up with my old gf after 10 years together and the main reason was we allowed each other to travel the world and chase our income. We spent months apart both very successful in our chosen careers and making a lot of income.
I was sent to Kuala lumpur for 9 months and initially she was supposed to come out after 3 months for 3 months but she was more focused on her job and took a new contract rather than coming out to see me.
I met my Mahal during that time and I told her she needs to come out if I meant anything to her. She came for 10 days whilst I had an operation and to be honest she made the situation worse and we didn't get on. The damage was done.
I pointed out money wasn't everything and by Xmas it was over. For me I did have a new love interest so it was easier but the point is we didn't make enough time for each other although there were other problems in our relationship this just made me realise we need to split.
She is still devastated but I've moved on and planning for a new house, and getting married to a girl who is everything my old gf wasn't.

So whilst one door closes another will open.

Going forward for me - I have a high pressure job, but when I get home I'm in husband mode and work will get parked until the next day, right now living alone I do about 70 hours a week, but when my Mahal arrives no more then 10 hrs a day for me!
The value of a relationship is paramount now I don't wanna split up in the future this one is for life.

The bottom line is time and effort is required from both partners and you only get out of it what you put in.

You can learn from the past and it can shape the future but I for one will learn from the past and make sure it doesn't happen in my future.

We are masters of our destinies...
Tone

hi tone,

thanks for sharing your story. to be honest, if he asks me, i will prefer to be with him. but he didnt do that. oh well, he used to talk about it before then he got too engaged with his work. he is busier than i am although we both hold a managerial position. i felt that he preferred his career over me and i was on the loosing end.

im happy that u found a new love. it's rare that we find someone who will complete us and would make us to go on through life. wishing u and your mahal a wonderful future together

[sweetnote143]

hi tone,
to be honest, if he asks me, i will prefer to be with him.

I will also do the same. I almost give up my job for him. Two weeks ago he had been restless of our situation. In his frustration he started pointing on my job as one of the hindrance that tied me down here, that he felt that my job was more important to me than him. He told me that somehow I have to make a sacrifice, that my life is not here but with him. He's asking me that and we haven't meet yet in person? It's hard to make decisions when one is in emotion, I needed to clear my mind so I wont be bias. I thought about it, about giving up my job. It's hard but I decided that I should go into a small business if I'll give up my job that I still have income to rely on. At least I thought that if I have a business, I own my time and that means I can give him more time that he wont feel neglected. I talked about my plan to him the next week and to my surprise he changed his mind. He didnt want me to resign. I asked him if he was prepared about the consequences if I continue my job? He just said that we have to make sacrifices somehow. I asked him again if he can manage that I will not be able to chat with him everyday because once the study is in it's full swing, I'll be in the field a lot doing surveys. When you are in research, you're time is not yours to own. You bring it with you to your home. I dont know if he understood what I was telling him but he said that there's no need for me to resign.

At least that was a relief on my part, but what I was in confused about what he asked me a week before I made that decision of resigning. He wants me to give up one thing that is keeping me here, and that is my job, and suddenly he doesnt want me to resign. that's confusing.

The point I wanted to make to him was that, he should make up his mind and stick to what he decided that wont lead me to confusion. I dont like feeling like I'm in a seesaw. I thought that women have changeable mind, but I guess some men have it or was it just him?

when we like/love someone, we are willing to give up something when we wanted our relationships to work.