need your thoughts.

[sweetnote143]

hi tone,
to be honest, if he asks me, i will prefer to be with him.

I will also do the same. I almost give up my job for him. Two weeks ago he had been restless of our situation. In his frustration he started pointing on my job as one of the hindrance that tied me down here, that he felt that my job was more important to me than him. He told me that somehow I have to make a sacrifice, that my life is not here but with him. He's asking me that and we haven't meet yet in person? It's hard to make decisions when one is in emotion, I needed to clear my mind so I wont be bias. I thought about it, about giving up my job. It's hard but I decided that I should go into a small business if I'll give up my job that I still have income to rely on. At least I thought that if I have a business, I own my time and that means I can give him more time that he wont feel neglected. I talked about my plan to him the next week and to my surprise he changed his mind. He didnt want me to resign. I asked him if he was prepared about the consequences if I continue my job? He just said that we have to make sacrifices somehow. I asked him again if he can manage that I will not be able to chat with him everyday because once the study is in it's full swing, I'll be in the field a lot doing surveys. When you are in research, you're time is not yours to own. You bring it with you to your home. I dont know if he understood what I was telling him but he said that there's no need for me to resign.

At least that was a relief on my part, but what I was in confused about what he asked me a week before I made that decision of resigning. He wants me to give up one thing that is keeping me here, and that is my job, and suddenly he doesnt want me to resign. that's confusing.

The point I wanted to make to him was that, he should make up his mind and stick to what he decided that wont lead me to confusion. I dont like feeling like I'm in a seesaw. I thought that women have changeable mind, but I guess some men have it or was it just him?

when we like/love someone, we are willing to give up something when we wanted our relationships to work.

[mickcant]

Hi,
I am a British man who met and married a Filipina in the Philippines in 2008.

As soon as I left the Philippines and returned to the UK, to await her spousal settlement visa being granted
I much later found out she moved in with a Filipino boyfriend had a baby by him,
She then came to the UK, with me having no knoladge of her 3 month old son (all at my expense of course) purely to be able to work in the UK and send more money back home than I could give her.

Some people just use other people she was supposed to be a god loving person, but was unfaithful and scammed me straight after our wedding that around 100 of her family attended.

I divorced her this year.
Mick.

[grahamw48]

At least you bothered to go to the Phils and meet her in person Mick...unlike some of these guys who are just mucking the girls about, it seems to me.

Good luck in finding the right lady in the future mate.

[grahamw48]

not sure. but someone told me he sweet talks everyone including men do u happen to know this person?

Definitely not me !

[driftersthought]

I will also do the same. I almost give up my job for him. Two weeks ago he had been restless of our situation. In his frustration he started pointing on my job as one of the hindrance that tied me down here, that he felt that my job was more important to me than him. He told me that somehow I have to make a sacrifice, that my life is not here but with him. He's asking me that and we haven't meet yet in person? It's hard to make decisions when one is in emotion, I needed to clear my mind so I wont be bias. I thought about it, about giving up my job. It's hard but I decided that I should go into a small business if I'll give up my job that I still have income to rely on. At least I thought that if I have a business, I own my time and that means I can give him more time that he wont feel neglected. I talked about my plan to him the next week and to my surprise he changed his mind. He didnt want me to resign. I asked him if he was prepared about the consequences if I continue my job? He just said that we have to make sacrifices somehow. I asked him again if he can manage that I will not be able to chat with him everyday because once the study is in it's full swing, I'll be in the field a lot doing surveys. When you are in research, you're time is not yours to own. You bring it with you to your home. I dont know if he understood what I was telling him but he said that there's no need for me to resign.

At least that was a relief on my part, but what I was in confused about what he asked me a week before I made that decision of resigning. He wants me to give up one thing that is keeping me here, and that is my job, and suddenly he doesnt want me to resign. that's confusing.

The point I wanted to make to him was that, he should make up his mind and stick to what he decided that wont lead me to confusion. I dont like feeling like I'm in a seesaw. I thought that women have changeable mind, but I guess some men have it or was it just him?

when we like/love someone, we are willing to give up something when we wanted our relationships to work.

how long have u been together? my ex was consistent in his words and has never changed his mind... oh well, that means we're not having a 2nd chance then haha.

i read your post on the other topics. i wish u can fix things with your beau

[driftersthought]

Hi,
I am a British man who met and married a Filipina in the Philippines in 2008.

As soon as I left the Philippines and returned to the UK, to await her spousal settlement visa being granted
I much later found out she moved in with a Filipino boyfriend had a baby by him,
She then came to the UK, with me having no knoladge of her 3 month old son (all at my expense of course) purely to be able to work in the UK and send more money back home than I could give her.

Some people just use other people she was supposed to be a god loving person, but was unfaithful and scammed me straight after our wedding that around 100 of her family attended.

I divorced her this year.
Mick.

what a sad story. but i wondered why it took u more than 2 years to divorce her? or, why did u have continue if u knew that she played u all along.

wishing u all the best in finding the right woman for you

[driftersthought]

Definitely not me !

nobody says it was you... are u guilty? haha just kidding graham

[Terpe]

That's an awesome view in your avatar driftersthought

[driftersthought]

That's an awesome view in your avatar driftersthought

hi terpe!

it was lovely. taken at a restaurant on top of a cliff with the beach view

[mickcant]

what a sad story. but i wondered why it took u more than 2 years to divorce her? or, why did u have continue if u knew that she played u all along.

wishing u all the best in finding the right woman for you

She delayed her coming to the UK after our marriage so she could be with her boyfriend then fell pregenent, when she arrived here she first went back home after 12 days then when I wanted to divorce her she said she wanted to return and make our marriage work, but all she wanted was to live with her friends and work to send money home.

I then divorced her but she delayed that by not repling to any court papers,forcing me to have a 2nd petition hand served on her by the court, expensive and more delay.

I did not know about the child until I started the divorce.
Everything she said was lies and more lies!
Mick

[mickcant]

wishing u all the best in finding the right woman for you

I loved her very much and could never trust anouther woman after that.

Mick.

[driftersthought]

She delayed her coming to the UK after our marriage so she could be with her boyfriend then fell pregenent, when she arrived here she first went back home after 12 days then when I wanted to divorce her she said she wanted to return and make our marriage work, but all she wanted was to live with her friends and work to send money home.

I then divorced her but she delayed that by not repling to any court papers,forcing me to have a 2nd petition hand served on her by the court, expensive and more delay.

I did not know about the child until I started the divorce.
Everything she said was lies and more lies!
Mick

sad that u met someone who only played with your heart and used you. not all filipinas are like that. i knew how hard it was to deal with the heartache plus the labor to go with it.

[ConfusedMe]

Being away from your partner is so hard. Same with my case. Working as a flight attendant before and catching up with my guy online is unbelievably crazy. I have to bring my laptop with me all the time to chat with him. By the end, I decided to leave my job to be with him. It's a crazy and a very risky decision especially that my job is important to me and family as well. But I couldn't be happier than being with my guy for good

[driftersthought]

Being away from your partner is so hard. Same with my case. Working as a flight attendant before and catching up with my guy online is unbelievably crazy. I have to bring my laptop with me all the time to chat with him. By the end, I decided to leave my job to be with him. It's a crazy and a very risky decision especially that my job is important to me and family as well. But I couldn't be happier than being with my guy for good

oh wow, happy story good luck to you and your fiance

[ConfusedMe]

Tsk! Tsk! Good thing you got the divorce before she can get her British citizenship...

Hi,
I am a British man who met and married a Filipina in the Philippines in 2008.

As soon as I left the Philippines and returned to the UK, to await her spousal settlement visa being granted
I much later found out she moved in with a Filipino boyfriend had a baby by him,
She then came to the UK, with me having no knoladge of her 3 month old son (all at my expense of course) purely to be able to work in the UK and send more money back home than I could give her.

Some people just use other people she was supposed to be a god loving person, but was unfaithful and scammed me straight after our wedding that around 100 of her family attended.

I divorced her this year.
Mick.

[ConfusedMe]

Tsk! Tsk! Good thing you got the divorce before she can get her British citizenship...

Or waas it too late

[mickcant]

Or waas it too late

No the divorce stopped her getting FLR.
Mick.

[tone]

Mick
I read that with utter dissapointment and I'm sorry to hear the story.
I live my life with what goes around comes around she will get her sorrow somewhere mate.
I went through a bitter divorce and I was put off for a short while but I was at carpet underlay level for 6 months and managed to get out of it.
I'd like to say dont write every woman off but I certainly dont wanna tell you what you already know.

Just wish you luck mate.
Take care
Tone

[sweetnote143]

how long have u been together? my ex was consistent in his words and has never changed his mind... oh well, that means we're not having a 2nd chance then haha.

i read your post on the other topics. i wish u can fix things with your beau

thanks, driftersthought.....not that long, we're still on the point of getting to know each other more....i dont know about the 'fix things up' thing coz I already made my mind, I need to be back to my old self, give my self more time than I deserve. I've been too focused on him that I become too vulnerable. If it's true that I'm important to him, then he should find a way to win me back. But if everything was all words, then I'm better off without him. It hurts but life goes on.

[mickcant]

Mick
I read that with utter dissapointment and I'm sorry to hear the story.
I live my life with what goes around comes around she will get her sorrow somewhere mate.
I went through a bitter divorce and I was put off for a short while but I was at carpet underlay level for 6 months and managed to get out of it.
I'd like to say dont write every woman off but I certainly dont wanna tell you what you already know.

Just wish you luck mate.
Take care
Tone

Hi Tone,
I expect I sound more bitter than I actually am

Whilst I would find it hard now to believe it was for real if a woman expressed any interest in me, I can see that over time we should get to know a future partner better before committing.

I think with long distance relationships and the cost of travelling to be together they can move faster than a woman next door type of relationship.

I retired in between marrying my ex and her arriving, and my circumstances now mean I would not be able to finance another Filipina through the visa process as my income is a lot lower than when I was working, and most of my savings and pension lump sum went on my ex.

Mick.

[tanga]

i came back to this site today and registered a new username. its because i dont want my ex to see that im ranting here since he introduced me to this site, i have a feeling he is browsing this site as well but not sure if he had registered (i hope not )

Driftersthought
Are the sunglasses a disguise so your ex will not recognise you?
Joke lang..Ingat

[driftersthought]

i came back to this site today and registered a new username. its because i dont want my ex to see that im ranting here since he introduced me to this site, i have a feeling he is browsing this site as well but not sure if he had registered (i hope not )

Driftersthought
Are the sunglasses a disguise so your ex will not recognise you?
Joke lang..Ingat

haha. hi tanga

i dont think he's browsing this site anymore and so i had uploaded my pic

[worthingmale]

hope everything works out for everybody, I believe there is a right person out there just got to find them

[tanga]

As soon as I left the Philippines and returned to the UK, to await her spousal settlement visa being granted
I much later found out she moved in with a Filipino boyfriend had a baby by him,

Exactly the same situation that happened to an English friend. His new wife kept delaying the move to UK, eventually he smelt a rat and engaged an enquiry agent who reported the new birth of her child with her trike driver boyfriend. He was granted an annulment on the grounds that the marriage had not been consummated but it cost him dearly.
He is now retired and married here in Philippines

[mickcant]

As soon as I left the Philippines and returned to the UK, to await her spousal settlement visa being granted
I much later found out she moved in with a Filipino boyfriend had a baby by him,

Exactly the same situation that happened to an English friend. His new wife kept delaying the move to UK, eventually he smelt a rat and engaged an enquiry agent who reported the new birth of her child with her trike driver boyfriend. He was granted an annulment on the grounds that the marriage had not been consummated but it cost him dearly.
He is now retired and married here in Philippines

My ex only found out I knew about their baby on the divorce petition, with his full name on.

She phoned me stright away wanting to know how I knew about the baby, I left her wondering on that, she told me so mant lise she did not then derserve the truth
Mick.

[baby38]

Well makes me wonder these pinay women getting married,delaying getting their spouse visa, it happened to Tanga and his friend,Mickcant and myself, and other I have heard of, I can understand why Mickcant and other are so suspicious of trusting again, thats why myself and others are here to warn others to be careful.I know one man got married he brought a house and land, when finally when spouse visa was being considered, found out she was already married to a judge.Just recently a passenger who I pick up in my taxi, was concerned about his son returning from the Phills, the girls cousin who introduced him to the girl pushing for a finance visa, he came with his father for my advice, he recommended a tourist visa to get to know the girl better, however he went against my advice, filed for a finance visa, the other week he got the result, the visa was refused on the grounds she told immigration she had 1 child but they found out she had 2 children, the woman here in Australia who recommended this girl to this man, has a bad reputation in my town, the rumors were she was only interested getting the girl here and getting a visa rip the man off.

[grahamw48]

They didn't find out about my ex's 'other' child.

I found out 6 months after our marriage.

In the end it all ended happily for the kids, but not a good start for a marriage, and always a problem afterwards. TRUST.