This is the thread for the broken-hearted...

[simpleHeart]

How you surpass it, what did you did to move on? And are you willing to open up your heart? for how long after the break -up?A multi dollar question but worth for those who truly love but just been hurt..

Could you shares yours?It might lighten your burden and pained inside

[Moy]

hiya simple heart
There are few experiences in life that are more hideously painful than having your heart broken. And it can happen at any age.
A broken heart can cause such an intense reaction that you may feel your life has been completely stripped of meaning. Jobs, hobbies, and friends may no longer hold any joy. In fact, some even experience physical pain with a tight chest, nervous stomach, or terrible insomnia. “Time heals all wounds” is what we have all heard over the years, but do you really have to wait for time to heal these wounds
It is critical to understand that the pain one feels after a break up is only partially due to the separation from our mate. What causes equal, if not greater agony, is dealing with our crushed dreams. Our dream to be a certain age and have accomplished certain things has been stolen.
When you say: “heal my broken heart,” you aren’t necessarily trying to find a way to get back together with the person that you love. If that is the case, then you need to make some changes in your life to heal your own heart. You can do this without finding a new love, in fact you should move on without seeking out a new relationship because you aren’t over the old one yet.

If you've just had a break-up and are feeling down, you're not alone. Just about everyone experiences a break-up at some point, and many then have to deal with heartbreak — a wave of grief, anger, confusion, low self-esteem, and maybe even jealousy all at once.
LastlyDon't be afraid to cry. Going through a break-up can be really tough, and getting some of those raw emotions out can be a big help. We know this is another tough one for guys, but there's no shame in crying now and then. No one has to see you do it — you don't have to start blubbering in class or at soccer practice or anything. Just a find a place where you can be alone, like crying into your pillow at night or in the shower when you're getting ready for the day.

[Farmerg]

Excellent words of wisdom again Moy!

I know I never met the lady in question face to face & only chatted online and the phone but it what happened cut me deeper than I could of ever of imagined
I think it was the fact we were so far apart that I could only express my feelings through words ,I have never shared my feelings & inner most thoughts to such an extent before so when I found out her true intent it affected me in a way I had never felt before.

This has created trust issues for me, not so much in trusting others but trusting my own judgement & instincts.

Thought provoking thread Roxanne

[Moy]

Farmerg
When we settle into a space of trust we access our inner guidance system; we know what to do, when to do it and when to wait. We know that the ideal people and circumstances will serendipitously manifest into our lives. We may not trust everyone we meet or every situation we come across, but we trust our inner knowing. We listen to our intuitive voice that rests in stillness, guiding us to our highest path.
The next time you have a difficult decision to make or you’re concerned about the future, rather than get lost in worry or doubt, or immediately following the lead of your practical, logical mind, take a moment to center within and access your inner trust. Ask your inner guidance which is the best path to follow.
Don’t rush it. If you truly love your partner and want what’s best for him, you’ll wait. If you’re in a relationship with someone you feel you can’t trust, don’t ignore it. If you have trouble trusting anyone, you might want to seek counseling before you run away from what could be a great relationship. Your past does affect your ability to trust. However, if trust hasn’t been a problem for you in the past and your gut is telling you to protect yourself from this guy, take it as a warning. Take a close look at who he is, how he treats others and how he treats you. Your gut may be giving you good information.

[sweetnote143]

If you truly love your partner and want what’s best for him, you’ll wait. If you’re in a relationship with someone you feel you can’t trust, don’t ignore it. If you have trouble trusting anyone, you might want to seek counseling before you run away from what could be a great relationship. Your past does affect your ability to trust. However, if trust hasn’t been a problem for you in the past and your gut is telling you to protect yourself from this guy, take it as a warning. Take a close look at who he is, how he treats others and how he treats you. Your gut may be giving you good information.

gut feeling is always right.....the problem is when we start thinking and use our reasoning, then we put ourselves to lots of agonies....the more we think, the more mistakes we commit

[sweetnote143]

How you surpass it, what did you did to move on? And are you willing to open up your heart? for how long after the break -up?A multi dollar question but worth for those who truly love but just been hurt..

Could you shares yours?It might lighten your burden and pained inside

being brokenhearted is always the worst part of our lives...it's not easy to deal with and move on....sometimes it's better to wallow in our pain....but accepting the truth is the first step for one to move on.....from my own experience, giving my self more time and attention made the breakup bearable....once, I made a mistake of dating another guy even I was still hurting, a big mistake...the price I paid was losing my self-esteem....I moved out, started a new life, a new place....3 years passed before I entered to another relationship. not because of the lack of suitors but I wanted to be in a relationship without hangups of the past relationship....no ghosts from the past....there is no exact date or how many months before you open your heart....it's only a matter of being ready to be in a relationship again, that you're whole again. that you are you again.

I'm on the process of moving on too....I'm just thankful for my friends that they're there to cheer me up....talking helps, as long as talking to the right people....friends may get tired of listening to our sorry ass but they'll always be there when we need them, though only half listening

[stevewool]

to move on in life is down to one person , thats yourself, yes friends are great, true friends even better, look ahead always and try to find that special person that loves you for being you

[sweetnote143]

to move on in life is down to one person , thats yourself, yes friends are great, true friends even better, look ahead always and try to find that special person that loves you for being you

[Moy]

I would like to tell you that I was down but not out. That I just brushed myself off and got on with life. I didn't. At first, I kept myself hyper-busy. That lasted for about three months. Then, I sank into a depression. I'm sure I was in shock for a long time. It was a very dark, confused time in my life. I kept pushing myself to get back to normal. That didn't happen

[grahamw48]

As a lovesick moody teenager this was my 'grieving for lost love' song of choice.

Prepare yourself first with tissues ladies.

.

[grahamw48]

Seriously though, I do understand.

My first 'proper' girlfriend, after we finished (by me ) I chased until she married someone else. We had been together for 2 years.

After that my beautiful fiancee was killed in a road accident, and that almost made me suicidal. We had been together for 8 years.

Then years later my (Filipina) ex-wife cheated on me first, and then went to live with another man.

[Shaq]

Women always cheat, it is sad but that is life...I am sure one day someone special will be there for good.

[hawk]

been there depression not wanting anything then decided to get of my ass and move on then i found another perpose for living my fiencee i have now not saying you wont get hurt again like me try look it this way there are others have less and little hope but we all have a chance to change get out and start again look for the signes

[sweetnote143]

forgiveness......forgiving the one who hurt me and forgiving myself from being bitter and holding a grudge against the person...not easy but can be done....forgiveness is the only way that one can move on completely

[worthingmale]

never hold a grudge

just remember the good times and move on

[sweetnote143]

never hold a grudge

just remember the good times and move on

quite right, worthing

[wytdoll]

well its not really easy. But moving on and accepting the fact that it ended up not good is better. Just remember that everything happens for a reason and there's someone right there for you. Time heals broken heart.

[imagine]

good thread simpleheart,
oh that song graham theres a line in there,,,, happiness is just an illusion,filled with sadness and confusion,
going through a bad time just now,this is why iv not been here lately, too complicated to explain,but suddenly just as i had made all my final arrangments to be with brenda , its all gone strange and im left in limbo and confusion,though she says she still wants me, but shes not giving me the signals that say so, i get just the opposite, mmmm gut feelings if you like,to be fair she tells me she is ill. now instead of me going to meet her in israel then with her on to phil, she says she going on her own and will get tourest visa to come see me, just doesnt make sense, i think this is the end but shes not telling me,im confused and feel heart broken,on top of all this my finances were made and planned to go stay in phil, now if i stay here it will put me in a bad financial situation,which i desperatly need to start trying to fix immeadiatly, but i cant because iv been put in limbo , not knowing what she wants me to do, not good for health of mind or body too much stress, i know what my gut tells me i should do but i cant just yet, i know they say things happen for a reason and if its meant to be it will be, but its no help to me just now,
this only a small version of whats happening,anymore will bore you to tears lol,

[Tawi2]

O h Dear

[grahamw48]

Oh, sorry to hear that imagine .

Are you sure about her status back home in the Phils . Kids, old boyfriend etc ?

Sounds like you might need to do a bit of digging around.

I hope I'm wrong and getting the wrong end of the stick totally.

If you feel the need to share, I'm sure most of us won't be bored with anything you have to say.
(Over on the 'restricted' section if you'd rather ).

[imagine]

thanks graham, il get my head around it maybe tomorrow,im sure if i fill in the gaps then whats happening will be better understood,but i dont think theres an x lurking back in the phil,im not without blame for how things are now,
would be good to hear someone elses view about this

[grahamw48]

Ok mate...when you're ready.

[Farmerg]

Nice to see your here again Imagine , I wish it was in better circumstances

[Arthur Little]

I'm sorry too, to read about your situation, Stewart. We've all missed you on here lately ... and I'd thought you'd gone to meet Brenda in either Israel or the Phils - which would've explained your absence.

Welcome back to our midst. As Graham urges ... please don't hesitate to talk about your feelings if and when you're ready. You are among friends here. And there's a lot of truth in the old maxim - 'a burden shared ... is a burden halved'! Take Care for now.

[Terpe]

thanks graham, il get my head around it maybe tomorrow,im sure if i fill in the gaps then whats happening will be better understood,but i dont think theres an x lurking back in the phil,im not without blame for how things are now,
would be good to hear someone elses view about this

Hi imagine, we missed you. So sorry to learn of your situation. I can see how unsettling that would be.
You have plenty of friends here to offer insights and advice. You'll always get a good range of comments, but always with your best interests are the centre.

Take care.

[worthingmale]

Hi Imagine

It is good to share, I shared on here thinking I would be made fun of etc, but everybody was so supportful and helping.

If and when you are ready feel free to share and we can all help.

[Moy]

be on the lookout for symptoms of inner peace. The hearts of a great many have already been exposed to inner peace

[imagine]

thank you all, its looking like brenda is realy quite ill, she been so upset unable to talk,as yet i cant seem to get to know anything from her,
i need to find out more,

[tone]

thank you all, its looking like brenda is realy quite ill, she been so upset unable to talk,as yet i cant seem to get to know anything from her,
i need to find out more,

Best wishes mate hope you can get peace and stability back soon.

[tone]

I could write a couple of chapters on this but someone above said it's always the girls that cheat and that's simply not true..
My first heart break was at the tender age of 16. Then 19 that one took me 18 months to get over before meeting my now ex wife.
I guess some people say until you've been through heartbreak you haven't really experienced 'carpet underlay levels' of attitude. it's really just an emotion that we all have to feel and understand and I believe there are very few that can walk this earth without it knocking on their door.
when you put that much effort, enthusiasm, heart and soul into a single person, then pile on a lot of hope and lashings of love it's easy to see why you can be demolished when you get rejected, or they are taken away.

I know there is no simple answer to this I simply put nit down to 'character building' my own experience has made me a better human being.

On the flip side of this issue I was in a very strange place not long ago where I was broken due to being in love with two girls. I was royally messed up, I for 6 months had a guilt complex and head went round and round in circles...only by owning up and coming clean was I able to spin out..itbwas heartbreaking but it was a necessary situation. I spent a whole 18 hour flight crying.. But I'm only human...