Advice in Marriage Requirements and Getting married at his first visit!

[andrealeigh87]

Hi newbie here,
im andrea 24 years old and my bf is 25 yrs old..
we've been together for about a year on what we called virtual relationship..
i need advice/help regarding some matters..

First is we want to get married in January 2012 but it will be our first meeting, is that possible? will it affect if ever i apply for a spouse visa in the future?

Second is one of the requirements in getting married here in the Phil is parental advice since we were 24 and 25, but he doesn't like to get this from his parents.. is there anyway we can deal with this?

i hope someone can help me, i find this forum so helpful and informative..
Thanks in Advance and have a good day everyone!

[andrealeigh87]

i forgot to say that he will have limited time here about 2-3 weeks, and he doesn't have much money to visit here more often, that's why he wants us to get married soon during his first visit..

[Terpe]

i forgot to say that he will have limited time here about 2-3 weeks, and he doesn't have much money to visit here more often, that's why he wants us to get married soon during his first visit..

andrealeigh87

Firstly welcome here to the forum

Secondly, just my opinion, but I think you would need the full 3 weeks to get married in Philippines. Some people will tell you 14 days is possible, maybe. I only ever knew two people who achieved that and they lived and held the wedding in Metro Manila.
Just remember that after you apply for the marriage license there is a mandatory 10 day waiting period while the marriage banns are published.
You will almost certainly be requested to attend the "Marriage Seminar" counseling sessions prior to being allowed to be married. This also takes time.
So you can see that time gets consumed very quickly


Thirdly, and on a more personal level, I would not recommend you commit to a marriage under the time pressures I mentioned based only on a virtual relationship without at least having some time together to really get to know each other.
Marriage should not be treated just as a "good idea". Let's do it.
Not only is it my personal thinking that face to face courtship and "getting-to-know-you" time together is important, but it is also the thinking of UKBA.
Any subsequent visa application would already be very weak.

Don't use lack of finances as a reason to rush down this road now.

Just my opinion.

[queenie]

hi terpe, i have met my husband one time but we stayed in philippines for a month but i chatted with him for over 4 yrs before we decided to get married. I hope its UK agency will see this as a genuine relationship

[Moy]

i hate to say this but forgive to those who wont agreeLove is a beautiful thing but life is a reality..and love can't always overcome the baggage and hurts from someones past....
When someone is rushing into marriage too quickly there is an underlying reason why, and it's not for the right reasons. If a relationship is meant to work out time will be the test of things. If someone is not willing to really get to know someone prior to getting married it is the idea of being married that is important to them not the relationship with the person they love.

[Terpe]

hi terpe, i have met my husband one time but we stayed in philippines for a month but i chatted with him for over 4 yrs before we decided to get married. I hope its UK agency will see this as a genuine relationship

When was the first time you met?
When was the last time you met?

[queenie]

we started chatting last 2007. we have a lovely courtship for over 4 yrs and decided to get married last year. I first met him Last December 15, 2010, married in Jan 8, 2011 then he went back to UK last Jan 16, 2011. I went back to Bahrain for work.. And now, I'm waiting for my settlement visa result... Just nervous

[Terpe]

we started chatting last 2007. we have a lovely courtship for over 4 yrs and decided to get married last year. I first met him Last December 15, 2010, married in Jan 8, 2011 then he went back to UK last Jan 16, 2011. I went back to Bahrain for work.. And now, I'm waiting for my settlement visa result... Just nervous

The important key is to convince the ECO that the relationship is genuine and that you plan to settle and live together as a couple in UK.

[queenie]

thnx terpe....

[Arthur Little]

Hi newbie here,
im andrea 24 years old and my bf is 25 yrs old..
i hope someone can help me, i find this forum so helpful and informative..

... it IS, Andrea ... as you've seen from the good, sound advice already offered here. take your time to weigh things up ... there's no rush! And to the friendly, online filipino/uk community.

[worthingmale]

slow down get to know each other, is to early to get married when you havent met each other puts a lot fo strain on things

[Arthur Little]

take your time to weigh things up ... there's no rush!

But ... don't leave it too "leight" !

[Jimbojac]

Yep, no rush.
You 2 really should get to know each other in person and only meeting in real life will you both see exactly how you "gel" together.
I met one girl online, great to talk to, we shared many of the same ideas etc etc but upon meeting in real life the "magic" and chemistry was simply not there. To this day we still remain friends and talk occasionally but there was never the " Wow " factor between us in real life.
I think everyone has different ideas about what they want from a relationship.
I was immediately attracted to Maricris first online and then meeting her in Dipolog City some 2 months later.
Love can grow for sure, but it sure is nice if you love someones company and feel a part of you is missing as soon as you are apart, even a short period of time.
I totally believe that any couple should not try too hard to impress the other, just act naturally always and be yourself. {example: if i wanna be a slob on a Sunday morning and not shave and hang about in my jog pants why worry? }
My current GF is a lovely sweet girl and we have a very equal relationship, there is a lot of trust there and giving both ways. Sure there are cultural differences which anyone dating a Pinay will know and understand but respecting each others differences is also a learning curve on both sides.
It takes time to get to know someone and at first there is the " honeymoon period" where its all great and exciting but after that then what? Personally speaking i believe that potential marriage partners should view each other as best friends first and foremost - anything other than that i would doubt the marriage would last.
Its incredible that i have seen complaints and comments on this very forum about peoples partners and disagreements about wanting children, finances, housing and where to live etc etc, all these things should be thoroughly discussed and agreement reached before that big walk down the aisle.
In a nutshell...........DON'T RUSH!

[Maria B]

Hi newbie here,
im andrea 24 years old and my bf is 25 yrs old..
we've been together for about a year on what we called virtual relationship..
i need advice/help regarding some matters..

First is we want to get married in January 2012 but it will be our first meeting, is that possible? will it affect if ever i apply for a spouse visa in the future?

Second is one of the requirements in getting married here in the Phil is parental advice since we were 24 and 25, but he doesn't like to get this from his parents.. is there anyway we can deal with this?

i hope someone can help me, i find this forum so helpful and informative..
Thanks in Advance and have a good day everyone!

Andrea and to the friendly forum.

We cannot questioned everybody's feelings when it comes to love...& there's also a song goes "love always finds away" but take it from other concerned members from this forum. Instead of stressing each other about getting married, why not chill & enjoy the relationship. If it's time & that's it. Try to get to know more about each other & enjoy the flow. If u check the application form for spousal visa, the questions gives u some heading. If u both decided to push the plan through, u both should be ready with all the documents and explaination to support that the relationship is genuine. Lucky are those who wants to get married with age brackets 35 y.o./ above as they will not be questioned a lot. Finances is not a reason on jumping into such conclusion, I say this bcoz VFS Global is very keen with every details that u give in the application form.

If u worry about the Parental Advice...please talk & check from your civil registry town hall or parish from the town you're from. It is a way of respect to both parents or else it sounds like secret marriage if he doesn't like to ask this from his parents. (try to ask him the reasons why, it doesn't hurt to ask).

Below is the Family Code of the Phils. I wish u both all the best & may your love continue to bloom. U take care and have a lovely day
--------------------
Age Requirements, Parental Consent, Parental Advice:
If you are under the age of 18, you can not get married in the Philippines even if your parents are okay with the marriage.
Individuals must be at least 21 years old to get married in the Philippines without written parental consent. If your parents cannot appear with you before the local civil registrar, a legal affidavit with the signatures of two witnesses may be accepted.

Individuals between the age of 21 and 25, must "... ask their parents or guardian for advice upon the intended marriage. If they do not obtain such advice, or if it be unfavorable, the marriage license shall not be issued till after three months following the completion of the publication of the application therefor. A sworn statement by the contracting parties to the effect that such advice has been sought, together with the written advice given, if any, shall be attached to the application for marriage license. Should the parents or guardian refuse to give any advice, this fact shall be stated in the sworn statement."
Source: Title I, Chapter 1, Article 15 Family Code of the Philippines

[South-east boy]

Yep, no rush.
You 2 really should get to know each other in person and only meeting in real life will you both see exactly how you "gel" together.
I met one girl online, great to talk to, we shared many of the same ideas etc etc but upon meeting in real life the "magic" and chemistry was simply not there. To this day we still remain friends and talk occasionally but there was never the " Wow " factor between us in real life.
I think everyone has different ideas about what they want from a relationship.
I was immediately attracted to Maricris first online and then meeting her in Dipolog City some 2 months later.
Love can grow for sure, but it sure is nice if you love someones company and feel a part of you is missing as soon as you are apart, even a short period of time.
I totally believe that any couple should not try too hard to impress the other, just act naturally always and be yourself. {example: if i wanna be a slob on a Sunday morning and not shave and hang about in my jog pants why worry? }
My current GF is a lovely sweet girl and we have a very equal relationship, there is a lot of trust there and giving both ways. Sure there are cultural differences which anyone dating a Pinay will know and understand but respecting each others differences is also a learning curve on both sides.
It takes time to get to know someone and at first there is the " honeymoon period" where its all great and exciting but after that then what? Personally speaking i believe that potential marriage partners should view each other as best friends first and foremost - anything other than that i would doubt the marriage would last.
Its incredible that i have seen complaints and comments on this very forum about peoples partners and disagreements about wanting children, finances, housing and where to live etc etc, all these things should be thoroughly discussed and agreement reached before that big walk down the aisle.
In a nutshell...........DON'T RUSH!

Good post and I agree. Had the same thing with dates myself previously. Got on great before, but when meeting they have been different or acted different to me. You can easily get carried away with the potential relationship before even spending time in their company. You can't just assume that when you meet in person, it will be exactly the same as chatting online.

With Viva when I met her in April, although we had chatted for 6 months online, when meeting it was different. By different I mean chatting online is different to chatting in person as you have their pressence there which you need to get used to, especially if you are both a little shy in relationships or been hurt before. As we spent longer in each others company, I felt closer to her and felt 'those' feelings you feel when you want to become boyfriend and girlfriend rather than just dating. As she was cautious (relationship-wise), didn't want to rush things and I didn't exactly know how she felt, I took things slowly, but I did get to hold her hand and asked to kiss her when hugging her as we parted on the last night before she went back. As I'm a shy person it was not so easy to do, but I wanted to that much.

[-sillybilly-]

Hello there and welcome to the forum!

With all the responses from your querry, i think these lads are correct.

You both are still young, you will have loads of time getting to know each other. NO RUSH! But we can not judge how you feel for each other.
Theres lots of way that you can spend time together, first thing is to meet each other in person and get yourself comfortable with each other's company.

Then you can carry on chatting online, keeping the relationship while saving up again for his next visit or you never know...your wedding.

And when you come over here...its going to be more difficult specially for you as you will not just be adjusting with your new environment but with your husband.

You have never met him in person and you are just starting to get to know him. I hope you can figure out what im trying to say.

If i were you i will wait for a little while. Get to know your future husband without any pressure.

You can always ask anything in this forum, lots of members will look after you. I mean they will give you all the advices base from their experiences.

Just relax and dont rush!