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Thread: Best Divorce Letter, ever!

  1. #1
    Respected Member Maria B's Avatar
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    Wink Best Divorce Letter, ever!

    Dear wife:

    I'm writing you this letter to tell you that I'm leaving you forever. I've been a good man to you for 7 years & I have nothing to show for it. These last 2 weeks have been hell. Your boss called to tell me that you quit your job today & that was the last straw. Last week, you came home & didn't even notice I had a new haircut, had cooked your favorite meal & even wore a brand new pair of silk boxers. You ate in 2 minutes, & went straight to sleep after watching all of your soaps. You don't tell me you love me anymore; you don't want *** or anything that connects us as husband & wife. Either you're cheating on me or you don't love me anymore; whatever the case, I'm gone.

    Your EX-Husband
    P.S. don't try to find me. Your SISTER & I are moving away to Spain together! Have a great life!


    Dear Ex-Husband

    Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter. I DID notice when you got a hair cut last week, but the 1st thing that came to mind was 'You look just like a girl!' Since my mother raised me not to say anything if you can't say something nice, I didn't comment. And when you cooked my favorite meal, you must have gotten me confused with MY SISTER, because I stopped eating pork 7 years ago. About those new silk boxers: I turned away from you because the £27.29 price tag was still on them, & I prayed it was a coincidence that my sister had just borrowed £30 from me that morning. After all of this, I still loved you & felt we could work it out. So when I hit the lotto for £50million, I quit my job & bought us 2 tickets to Jamaica But when I got home you were gone.. Everything happens for a reason, I guess. I hope you have the fulfilling life you always wanted. My lawyer said that the letter you wrote ensures you won't get a penny from me. So take care.

    Signed, Your Ex-Wife, Rich As Hell & Free!

    P.S. I don't know if I ever told you this, but my sister Carla was born Carl. I hope that's not a problem.
    If you can't say something nice. SHUT UP!. Simple.


  2. #2
    Respected Member imagine's Avatar
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    thats a corker


  3. #3
    Respected Member tone's Avatar
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    Brilliant!


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    Respected Member Farmerg's Avatar
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  5. #5
    Respected Member Moy's Avatar
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    i would like to be an ex lover instead


  6. #6
    Moderator Arthur Little's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Moy View Post
    i would like to be an ex lover instead
    ... aww, ... you don't MEAN that ... surely!


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  8. #8
    Respected Member Maria B's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by imagine View Post
    thats a corker
    If you can't say something nice. SHUT UP!. Simple.


  9. #9
    Respected Member Maria B's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by tone View Post

    Brilliant!
    If you can't say something nice. SHUT UP!. Simple.


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