Hi, my son is in love with a lovey girl from the Philippines

[Julia]

My son is only just 21 he is a very shy lad, who has dyslexia (BTW dyslexia does not equal stupid, he has an above average IQ) It does mean though that his job options are very limited. I was involved in a freak accident 10 years ago which left me disabled and since he left school my son has been my carer. (funny how life works out isn't it) Although I feel very lucky to have a son who looks after me so well I felt very guilty that he did not have the confidence to go out and meet a girl. He told me that although he would love to meet a girl he did not feel that he wanted to go out with an English girl as they did not seem to want the same things as he does. Plus he has always felt attracted to Asian ladies (he used to love watching Relic Hunter and thinks Tia Carrera is the ideal woman) I suggested that he should find a penpal and that I would help with communication. Well we went on a website and paid for a months subscription. There was a girl who started to chat from the Philippines. I explained about his problem and that I was helping him by typing what he was saying. She was very understanding about this and now she chats to us on a regular basis and brings her Mum with her to the computer shop too, it's a little odd I know, but it seems to be working. My daughter thinks that we are insane because the first girl we chatted to is the only girl my son wants to know. She thinks he should have got his money worth by chatting to loads of girls She really does seem to be a genuine lovely girl, she is training to be a nurse which will take another 2 years and she says that she will not marry until she is qualified, which I think is great as they should be able to get to know each other very well by then. She is Catholic and very God fearing, but my son has said that if she really is the one he would convert for her (I didn't have him baptised as I am not religious) Anyway, the reason why I have joined this forum is to try and find out the problems that face any Filipina's that live in the Uk. My son's happiness is very important to me, I would love to see him happily married to a Filipina, but it is equally important to me that the girl he marries is happy as well.

[joebloggs]

sorry about your accident, like you say funny how life works out, its a roller coaster ride for some people, of ups and downs

who's not attracted to asian ladies, hmm myleene klass , as for her bringing her mom to the computer shop, how old is she? , filipina moms are very protective, i got a very long email from my wifes mother, when she found out that we joked about getting married , and i was even interrogated by her father and she was 28 then .

as for your daugther thinking its insane, most people on this forum meet their husbands, but mostly wifes the same way. whats more insane is a libyan guy i work with who meet a girl in a tent in a desert for 2 hours and they got married , now thats insane...

how long have they known each other ? and maybe you should ask her how she really feels about your son, as your post heading 'my son is in love..' , just to make sure they both feel the same way. as sooner or later he will want to meet her or her meet him, and its a big step for anyone to go 6000 miles around the world, on their own to a strange country . and if shes going to finish nursing, then if it does work out for them, then they will have more than a 2 year wait before they can be really together, and from experience, in 2 years alot can happen, people and feelings can change, my wife was in her final years at med school, we were married 3 years before she came to the uk, and if we were not married, i dont think we would have still been togther, going seeing your partner every 6 months for 2wks, you soon get use to being on your own, and living your own life.. , and for more than 2 years before we were married i went to visit her every 6 months , but if there a will , theres a way

also just beware there are many scammers out there, who are not, who they say they are, they will use you, and try to get money from you, iam not saying this girl is just beware it does happen thou.

as for filipina adjusting here, to many thier family is everything, luckly for my wife, shes been apart from most of her family for many years, and also we have 2 kids and a stepson son. but many do find ita bit difficult to adjust. and the weather my wife loves it

as for her being catholic, like most fipilinos my wife is to, and i'm not of any religion, and we dont have a problem with it at all.

good luck for your son.. just take it easy, and he will have to go and see her..

[andypaul]

Welcome to the Site to the both of you, although it seems strange to have parents involved i don't think it would in Phill so much. As you may already know phill is still a very family orientated place.

It will also help your son and his girlfriend if they know each others mothers when they vist one another.

I hope you find the site and the people on this site to be helpful.

[KeithD]

My daughter thinks that we are insane because the first girl we chatted to is the only girl my son wants to know. She thinks he should have got his money worth by chatting to loads of girls

We always advise to talk to more than one at the same time, this improves your options. Some folk end up getting involved with Filipins with loads of baggage, marriage, kids, prostitute, etc, but there is really no need to with so many beautiful single girls around. Nothing wrong with the other girls, just makes life much harder for no reason.

[Julia]

Thank you for your welcome, this is a very informative site. We have been doing quite a bit of research about the Philippines and to be honest some of the things we have read are very worrying. (like death squads, kidnappings etc) How true are these things? Many of you must have been to the Philippines, how safe did you feel while you were there? The area that our friend lives in is Olongapo City.

We always advise to talk to more than one at the same time, this improves your options. Some folk end up getting involved with Filipins with loads of baggage, marriage, kids, prostitute, etc, but there is really no need to with so many beautiful single girls around. Nothing wrong with the other girls, just makes life much harder for no reason. 

When I got my son to join a site for a month I thought it would be a good idea for him to chat to a few girls. He uploaded a photo of himself and a profile, the next day when checking our emails he found that he had loads of messages sent to him. We had got on the site to reply to all the "smiles" he had been sent, he didn't have a chance to reply because Katherine asked him to chat live. They chatted for over an hour and he joked that it was a good job that he only paid for one months subscription as he was very happy to have found her. She said to him "you will find a pretty girl to talk to and then it will be bye bye Katherine" He found this to be so sad and promised her that he would stop looking, which I thought was pretty admirable (pity my daughter still thinks it's insane of him lol) Katherine doesn't think that she is as pretty as some of the other girls that are on the same site. Her photo was taken while she was at church, dressed very simply and stood next to her Mum. Some of the other girls have posed studio shots and I must admit looked like models, but I think that even an old bag like me could look good if the lens had enough vasoline smeared on it The thing is that to me (and most importantly to my son) she is beautiful, some of the faces she pulls when on the web cam are so cute. I really do appreciate the warnings about being scammed though, but I feel that she is genuine. (I hope I don't have to eat my words in the future)

[silver13]

welcome! as joebloggs said take it easy, anyway your son is still young, time will tell if they are meant to be. There are a lot of genuine filipina girl but you will know in the process.

it took a long time to get the trust of my fiance' as he is aware of the so called scammers. We started as a friend for 4 months after we became a couple and now we are almost 2 years.

he visited me and i visited him too, it was a bit funny the first time he went to the philippines he thought my parents do the same as in the movie "meet my parents" :-) as filipino parents in general is protective.

good luck for your son.

[joebloggs]

he visited me and i visited him too, it was a bit funny the first time he went to the philippines he thought my parents do the same as in the movie "meet my parents" :-) as filipino parents in general is protective.

i meet my wifes mom before i ever meet the wife , she sent her mom to find me at the airport maybe her mom has heard about scousers, and wanted to check i wasn't

[bigtombowski]

welcome! as joebloggs said take it easy, anyway your son is still young, time will tell if they are meant to be. There are a lot of genuine filipina girl but you will know in the process.

it took a long time to get the trust of my fiance' as he is aware of the so called scammers. We started as a friend for 4 months after we became a couple and now we are almost 2 years.

he visited me and i visited him too, it was a bit funny the first time he went to the philippines he thought my parents do the same as in the movie "meet my parents" :-) as filipino parents in general is protective.

good luck for your son.

friends for 4 months?! wow! lol! long time, but i am glad that you decided not to move too fast! well done!
(if u get a chance please do let ur brummy fiancee PM to me )

tom

[bigtombowski]

i meet my wifes mom before i ever meet the wife , she sent her mom to find me at the airport maybe her mom has heard about scousers, and wanted to check i wasn't

BWAAAA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

[silver13]

Hi Everyone, I am Silver13's Fiance :-) We share everything :-)

Well what can I say :-) Probably quite a lot :-) As Annie or Anilyn says at first I did not trust her, why do I say this? OK I will tell Mine and Annies Story so far. It may give some guidance along the way as to how to approach a long distance love and fears your son is being scammed or could get hurt :-

I first met Annie on a web site called ###### I was supposedly invited by a friend of mine called Craig, but when I joined he was no where to be seen so I phoned him and he denied all knowledge, Hmmm I was tricked into joining the web site because they had a link between us. Anyway it was fun in there and I spoke to lots of people from around the world, some even in the UK, but most had an alterior motive, to gain points to win an Ipod at the end of the year in an auction, they had 1000's of friends in there so I just rejected people like that. I met other women form the Phillipines also in there, but it was obvious that these women where just scammers, all they wanted was a rich man :-( If they asked me, to visit, I would say I cannot afford it just yet although I would like to in about a year or so when I save up, Mmmmm They ran away :-) and stopped communicating. If the girl was worthy of having a lifetime relationship with she would concider waiting, wouldn't she? I could afford to travel but I thought it would be a test of commitment to me if they are interested, at least this girl is wanting to wait to complete her qualifications :-) Then on 19th July I met Anilyn as April004 her birth Month :-) Some of you may now know her birthday :-) She introduced herself in a text message from that site saying "Hi Paul! Not sure also if U wanna accept friends from this part of the globe but this is a try. Just curious about that smile Anyway i was caught by that gesture." I thought she sounds corny but very sweet so I accepted friendship :-) I did not trust her but something about her pulled me towards her, everything we spoke about just seemed right, all her moral values where similar to mine and there was that thing we call a SPARK between us :-) Anyway I took caution to the wind and told Anilyn that I Think I Loved Her on 15th November 2005 just 4 months later :-) I still did not trust her fully though, I kept her waiting for before I travelled to see her in the Philippines in near the end June 2006. All my friends where playing me up trying to scare me :-) saying I would be murdered by her family for money or something else really terrible, but I just said what have I got here? A well paid Job Yeah! A House House Yeah! but noone who I love enough to fill my home with Love & Happiness, I just said well if that happens then at least I have tried and I Truly believe her now. I had sent Annie letters and cards through the post to both her work and home addresses to make sure she lived where she said she lived. OK Call me paranoid :-) but whether you are male or female it is best to check out who you are going to meet, I phoned her at work and on her mobile at different times of the day. I looked out for any inconsistances in what she said about family and friends, there was non and I was convinced My BSC "My Beautiful Silver Cloud" as I call her was genuine :-) Oh By the way when I met Annie she did not have a photo in her profile, just like in here, she was / is shy :-) and because of that no one wanted to invite her as friends, how shallow :-( Well I got myself a Marikit Woman with a Marikit Na Puso (Beautiful Heart) I am the lucky one, I said to Annie don't worry about a photo, in your own time and eventually I saw My BSC :-) Mmmmmm So Marikit :-) Anyway In the Philippines I got down on one knee and proposed to Anilyn in Ortigas Park in Manila, The silly girl said yes :-) Maybe she did not know me enough :-) Ok I only joke I am a nice guy ;-)

What should you do? Read all you can about the Philippines and the culture, travel there if you can, Learn how to cope with Tampo :-) Philippine women do this quietness thing so well :-) Mmmmm I still Love You Annie even with Tampo, but I can be good at that too :-) Sorry Annie We do tampo less often now :-) Tampo I guess is a form of silent arguement, you have done wrong and I will not talk to you for a while then it all flies away if you realise what you have done! It is clear as mud so a good intuition is needed. I have not got Annie past Tampo yet Thanks God Wow that would be scary if a Filipina should actuall start shouting and become Angry :-)

Ok More of the story, Annie visited me here for just over 5 months, we travelled many places, Scotland, Birmingham City Centre :-), London, Wales, Stratford etc and on the 15th this month she went back to the Philippines :-( to make a Fiancee Visa Application :-) She will be back in about 2-3 months all going well and we talk on Webcam daily when time and location allows :-)

This forum has been a great help in filling in some missing pieces for what we need to do in making a Fiancee Visa Application, Maraming Maraming Salamat Everyone :-)

My Final advice is Be careful but don't let mistrust spoil a relationship, I am totally honest with Anilyn, just make sure this girl is genuine and lives where she says etc as I have talked about then see where Love takes Your son :-) I am sure by the sound of it He will be very happy and no disrespect for UK women but I find the Filipina attitude towards Life and Love totally refreshing that is why I Love Anilyn So Much. Mariage is hopefully for life for a Filipina and for me that is how I feel, Life has dificult times especialy when married for a long time, but needs working on for me a Filipina can be the only choice now, I never had much luck with English women with 1 year being about my longest but Annie :-) Well she stayes the distance :-)

Regards to You All hope my long text helps, anyone asleep yet ?

Ingat

Paul

[silver13]

......I would love to see him happily married to a Filipina, but it is equally important to me that the girl he marries is happy as well.

I apreciate where you are coming from with this quote, I am Silver13's Fiance and I did worry about this after I had feelings for her that where uncontrollable, I had gone past the point of no return, I loved Anilyn but I was scared, Without Her I would miss her and it hurt for her to be away, it hurts now, but I will cope because I know she will be returning to me :-) But I still worry that in leaving the Philippines she will miss her family and the Philippines, all her friends :-( Ok I know that we should be able to visit once a year and stay for about a month, but it will be Annie and her family who will be hurting. Annie says that she has spent many times away from family so she will cope! Her family live in Pangasinan, she lives in Manila so trips back home are limited. Philipino's are resiliant and I guess that as long as we can provide lots of communication between her and her family Annie will manage to cope with the seperation form family. A computer helps with a webcam and internet connnection, maybe this will have to be paid for by your son if they are to marry as it is very expensive on Philippine wages. It sounds like Your sons GF is similar to my Annie she will cope :-) with your sons support :-)

Paul Annies Bahaghari

[Julia]

Thank you Silver13 and Anilyn, living proof that a long distance relationship can work. Things are still going well for my son and his friend, fingers crossed that it too will have a happy ending, hopefully I will be around to see it.

[Peanutz]

Thank you Silver13 and Anilyn, living proof that a long distance relationship can work. Things are still going well for my son and his friend, fingers crossed that it too will have a happy ending, hopefully I will be around to see it.

Any distance relationship can work as long as they believe in it. It will be difficult because distance is hard to deal with as all the problems that comes with it, but I am sure they will be ok! I hope for a happy ending for both of them! Goodluck!!!

[nparvus1202]

Some Filipinas on those sites are really not Filipinas but guys pretending to be girls. They will post pictures of unkown Filipina beauties to hook some foreign rich guys, pretend to be in love and ask for money. They even post pictures of actresses. So lucky are the guys who met real Filipinas. They are beautiful people.

[joebloggs]

yes i was err browsing one of those sites, and my wife said one of the pics of the gals, was of miss phippiines a few years ago

[Peanutz]

yes i was err browsing one of those sites, and my wife said one of the pics of the gals, was of miss phippiines a few years ago

I think Miss Philippines had run out of funds!!!