Not your avarage case

[troubled]

Well I've known my girl for almost 6 months and have been staying here in the PI with the family for the past 6 weeks. The initial (now diffused) pressure of marraige, combined with the general boredom, lack of freedom (as in unsafe for me to wander very far alone) and non existent interaction with my fellow esterners - plus my occasional spats of severe depression, have all had a pounding on the relationship and she recently accepted that we may simply have to be just friends.

We are not an ideal couple in the sense that we are not soulmates but very few couples are. We make each other laugh and we're 'cosy' for want of a better word. She'd make a good wife and mother but I may not be ready to make that kind of commitment, for the simple reason that I have yet to find my niche in life and start my own business of find a job I am happy witn that utilises my skills.

I will start work in Bangkok soon though I don't know for how long and will fly her over for a holiday once I am settled. This will be the final decider.

If things do work out I want to take her to England. Because I have not lived there for 5 years and have no proof of where we will stay or employment there, I can't see this option as being realistic - not to live anyway, but how about for a holiday.

Can I bring my Fillipina girlfriend/fiancee to the UK for a holiday and how long could she stay for?

[Mrs Daddy]

hi yah, troubled you could find answers to your question to the search button about visitor`s visa.and i think most of the peps here discuss about it.Mr.administartor know alot about it. and as i said they discuss about it.as far as i know its hard for your fiancee to visit uk.specially now british embassy in philly is making thins complicated.but who knows!!! Goodluck to your future anyway.

[baboyako]

don't make plans for things that may never happen. just take each day as in comes and unwind a bit.

[joebloggs]

'for the simple reason that I have yet to find my niche in life and start my own business of find a job I am happy witn that utilises my skills.'

, i'm older than you and i'm still wondering what to do in life , you will end up doing nothing but drifting thru life, sometimes you have to make a decision and follow thru with it. i could have said, if, but, could.. but in the end we ended up married, it wasn't easy for us, compared to most on here, but we've lasted a lot longer than some, in nov it be 5 yrs

looks like you need a break from everything, and thats what you've got.... time to think..

badboyako back to work tomoz you ?? good luck with the job

[andypaul]

Like the others say chill out get to bangkok and see how you feel. Then when your girlfriend joins you with out all the family pressures (from what i have seen living with the in laws anyway in the world is tough for a lot of people it seems so no different in phill i guess)

Good luck mate and take care.

[troubled]

^ Thankyou for your kind comments, yes I am somewhat of a drifter, and I think I may be suffering from bi polar syndrome too! It would explain why I often get severely depressed but it would also explain why I have advanced creative abilities which I need to utilize into making some kind of business.

One thing I hadn't mentioned is that she is 2 years qualified nursing aid. Her next semester resumes in June until October and another year and she will have attained a full qualification as nursing assistant which, as my mother ust pointed out over the phone, should help a UK case consideraby despite my lack of evidence of solid job and UK abode to prove to the Embassy staff.

So.

The father still expects us to get married in July but I think the best thing to do is concentrate on me and her, fly her out to see me in Thailand on my birthday a month from now (I leave Friday) - and have a needed holiday break away from family then take it from there.

I do not want her to return to Hong Kong and work as an, (ahem) escort and I'm sure she doesn't deep down despite having friends and her mother there. She says she can't afford to complete her studies at a cost of about 150 English pounds which I am willing to pay for her even if we simply remain friends.

In the meantime her parents need to realize that I am not 'your avarage suitor' and that what is best for her is most important, and no matter how important marraige is to the culture, it could mean a lifetime of misery for both of us if we do not give ourselves time - THEY MUST SEE THIS.

It doesn't help that i share the religious views of Richard dawkins, that I am feircely against the idea of circumcision and that I don't as I type have my own home, business or job but I guess if we are supposed to be together, we can overcome anything.

Who knows, there may even be a place in the Phillipines I can start a cheap business and interact with other expats on a daily basis - it hasn't helped living in the middle of shanty!

[KeithD]

One thing I hadn't mentioned is that she is 2 years qualified nursing aid. Her next semester resumes in June until October and another year and she will have attained a full qualification as nursing assistant which, as my mother ust pointed out over the phone, should help a UK case consideraby despite my lack of evidence of solid job and UK abode to prove to the Embassy staff.

How exactly? The UK is no longer taking in non-European nurses in bulk anymore, we have plenty in Europe now who can't get jobs.

[joebloggs]

yes, times are now hard for pinoy nurses to get a work permit, as a britsh or european nurse would be first in the queue. unless your highly skilled..

but i think things are different if your married, then she wouldnt need a work permit, but then still have to take british nursing board exams or she wouldnt be able to get a decent job

[troubled]

Well that saves me 150 quid!

That said, completing the next semester would give her enough 'units' to work as a nanny or a carer, and to be honest she's too squeamish to be a nurse anyway, (yet she can happily munch on an unborn chicken!) but my biggest concern now regarding the Embassy staff is my own situation in that I can not show proof of where we would live or that I have a regular income. I have lived and worked away from the UK for the past five years, the last two of which was spent hopping around Asia doing marketing for a traveling carnival, hardly your standard applicant.

The mother still rings from HK to see how things are going and doesn't seem too bothered that I am currently unemployed with no fixed abode as long as I marry her daughter.

[joebloggs]

having said that thou, my mom is in a residential home, and there is a filipina carer there, and she has got a job for her husband there to, but that type of work is long and difficult,,,, and the pay not much more than the minimum wage..

as long as you marry her daughter, definitely sounds like my mother in law , she even arranged the wedding

as someone said already, maybe you should change your user name from 'troubled' to 'hopeful' , maybe you just think toooo much about things, instead of doing something, must be somethnig you like

am a bit like you, but not as , i get called a pessimist at work sometimes, instead of being optimistic, i tell'm i'm a realist

maybe you should look to tomorrow as being a better day, and yesterday as the past, well iam going home in less than an hour, so iam

talk about depressing, i watched midnight express last night, funny it was on around midnight to, saw little socuser keith in it, , i didnt know you wore specs

dont regret anything you did, only the things you didn't do, at least you know how it turned out.. and i'm outta here..

[andypaul]

Although she cant aplly for a visa to be a carer in the uk, im sure it would help a spouse visa as a plus point. as it would shows skills she could use to help the two of use not use public funds. An english qualfication would also be a bonsus imo showing she had decent language skills which would help with most jobs avaible in the uk.

[KeithD]

What's a 'socuser'? Is it related to a 'mnac'?

[troubled]

Her English is perfect, softly spoken and without any accent - though she does pronnounce scissors - 'see-saws'.

as someone said already, maybe you should change your user name from 'troubled' to 'hopeful' , maybe you just think toooo much about things, instead of doing something, must be somethnig you like

am a bit like you, but not as , i get called a pessimist at work sometimes, instead of being optimistic, i tell'm i'm a realist

maybe you should look to tomorrow as being a better day, and yesterday as the past, well iam going home in less than an hour, so iam

talk about depressing, i watched midnight express last night, funny it was on around midnight to, saw little socuser keith in it, , i didnt know you wore specs

dont regret anything you did, only the things you didn't do, at least you know how it turned out.. and i'm outta here..

That last quote was something that hit me at the mall yesterday... As for my username it was thought up hastily to denote my mood at the time but if things go well I'll change it if allowed.

Will her mother change her mind if she knows I will never be a Catholic, or Iglesho Christian? *spellcheck.

[joebloggs]

What's a 'socuser'? Is it related to a 'mnac'?

i dont have the will power any more to type the word SCOUSER too many times i've used the word..

i'm having nightmares about it
, next i'll be wearing a shell suite..

to troubled, most if not all the users on here, have told you to walk away, maybe i'm the only one who hasn't, as ive been in a similar situation to you, i'm not going into it, becuase if my wife ever found out , i would be dead .. its really complicated, especially for a scouser to understand , but i saw it then, as i still do now.. i could never walk away, when it came to it, even thou we both tried. i've been married near 5 years, got 2 fantastic kids and a great stepson. near all of my friends told me to walk away, maybe its because i'm stuborn or stupid , yes go on scouser keith , but we made it in the end. and heres to the next 5years

so to all those who said take the easy way and walk away
i'm not saying for you to stay or walk away, but ti listen to both sides. its your choice, and you have to live with it, wether you go or stay.

[troubled]

Thanks Joe - however the remaining concern is something I take so soberingly seriously it deserves a thread of its own, and that is the issue of children and parents of differing religion.

I will find the appropriate sub forum and start typing in the RANT forum, though it's deadlier serious than a simply a rant.

[joebloggs]

yes i've read your post about religion, go with the flow, dont let it bother you, you cannot make kids do what you want, so religion has got little chance... they will follow thier own path thru life, be happy for them, with or without religion.. so stop worrying about it . its not worth it...

hey you both look happy in your pic..

just dont start a thread about lechon

and badboyako i hope you worked your off yesterday

my mom has suffered a lot thru life, from the day she was born , even now shes suffering at 76, and religion was a big part of her life, its good to know god takes care of his followers

[baboyako]

flippin ell i'm exhausted was in leeds all week

[joebloggs]

flippin ell i'm exhausted was in leeds all week

your back
leeds all week, could be worse , they could havesent you to scouseland for the week, but it take you a month to get out

not use to work hey