[QUOTE=Jimbojac;319871]Hmmmmm there are always 2 sides to every story this guy has helped out the lady a fair bit in terms of financial support and my gut instinct is saying i dont think he is " all bad" just a bit of a coward and now in retrospect is taking a long sober cold look in the light of day and backing out, maybe?
QUOTE]
GUILT MONEY perhaps
Hi guys! thanks once again for sharing your thoughts. U are right Arthur, it isn't what I wanna read but honestly I really don't mind if u say things that aren't nice to hear if it's true coz reality really hurts. But as for now I still am confused maybe because I am still in contact with him and still love him. In fairness to him, jimbojac and sars_notd _virus are both right, I don't consider him real bad coz I appreciate him helping me not to mention that he helped me so much even before we met. But I would say I did my best to give something in return of all the help, I gave my FULL TRUST, COMMITMENT & so much LOVE. And I felt the same way before. First 2 weeks of our relationship he already forwarded to me his work schedule and from that day on even till @ present before and after work he really try to get online and talk to me in skype. We both share whatever we do everyday, whoever we interact with,everything. I must say, it's the obligation to his kids that made him back off from fully committing himself to me. He told me that if we continue on our friendship and if I won't stop talking to him everyday I will be able to see that he won't be looking for other woman but instead he will focus himself to his kids and work and he still even told me to still tell me if I have problems, he might be able to help. But he is also giving me freedom he is not stopping me from making friends with other men and if I decide to have another relationship he said he will respect and he will still be a friend. But when one time I was just making up a story, I told him I start chatting with someone interested on me, I could see his reaction and he told me that we probably need to stop talking so I could focus on my new one and I said he isn't my bf yet and I saw his face with a smile. And him telling me that he don't wanna lose me as a friend, I don't know if what he meant by this and telling me he won't be looking for another gf if he still loves me, it's just that he cannot afford to have an obligation with his kids and with mine if ever we continue. As for now, I feel lil better and would just remain friends with him and see later what will happen but I don't expect anymore.
you must move on , he will,
time will heal "wound"..i believe
A place for everything, everything in its place.
Hi stevewool & moy! i just wanna know from u being a man also...he told me he still having hard time moving on and as I've said he also told me if our communication is still open, I would know and see that he won't be having a new one. What do u think, is it really the obligation to his kids that's caused him to break up with me?and maybe the fact that I am not annulled yet, maybe he realized it would cost so much money and he can't afford so rather he will just let go of me. Do u think he still has feelings for me if he still continues to talk to me and offers help anytime I needed?is it just the circumstances?I could tell he is just coward of the responsibility and worries so much. I am thinking of finding a way or convince him later by showing him that even if we are just friends I will never look for another man just like him will not be looking for someone else,maybe 1 day will still end up together?what do u think?i feel like if only i would be able to go there, I'll show him that I won't be an additional burden but instead I'll be a help coz I will work hard for the both of us and of course for our kids.I think I love him too much and feeling that he still love me, I still wanna wait...I don't know if it's right for me to do it that way.
Are you crazy Lynn...... are you really ready to STOP your life on the SLIM chance that he changes his mind?????Originally Posted by pinay4uk
You are better than that!
As a man, if he has said he only wants to be friends, he means that he is happy to let you think that there could be a be a future together, when in reality, he does not want any commitment anymore. He will keep you holding on until you are too old to want to find another 'good' man. Dont waste you life on his false promise and be your friend, if you want love, you have to move on. I am sure I could speak for many guys here, after a relationship has finished, being friends is nearly impossible as one of you will always be wanting back what you lost. Dont waste your life... move on.
If you want your dreams to come true ...... first you have to wake up
firstly im not a manHi stevewool & moy! i just wanna know from u being a man
secondly..sorry if i am blunt to say this to you..forget him
A place for everything, everything in its place.
Steve.r & moy, thanks a lot! I do respect your advise and I appreciate it so much...I think u are right and yes steve.r I am really this crazy when I am inlove wish I learned from my mistake in the past. I sometimes just can't understand, as far as I know not to sound proud but I have always been honest, faithful and focus to any of my relationship in the past but especially with the last one. I don't know why a sudden change of feelings?sometimes I think maybe I am ugly or maybe I have not given my very best yet which I thought I already did coz I never ask nor demand for anything, if he has given me some help it was his idea not mine but whenever I received help I make sure I do something in return like give my time to him even if I need not to sleep just to talk to him so he feels that I am just here loving him. Anyways, I'll do my very best with God's help, I keep on praying that God will help me move on as soon as possible coz I don't wanna be wasting my time for nothing only. Once again, tnx a lot guys...
hiya Lynn..i do deeply feel how you felt and understand as well..YOU are not "ALONE"..I was in the same road as well..very similar..that only difference of us i think was i never been married from my past relationshipI am inlove wish I learned from my mistake in the past. I sometimes just can't understand, as far as I know not to sound proud but I have always been honest, faithful and focus to any of my relationship in the pastand through that experience same with everybody else we learn from it
Believe me..i know sometimes its so easy to say things and listen to other people opnion here and apply to your own situation but if you let go and just focus yourself to your kids right now ..you will be surprise one man will always come along your way to help you pick up your pieces again..
please believe me i was there already..and now i am fully aware and guarded by that feelings that lead me to who i am now..
cheer up and know that life is is too beautiful that you waste for someone who even not worthy to spend with from the start..!
have a positve feeling that is the mean thing that you can move on..dont presssure yourself either of finding love when it come it will COME on the right time and right reasonable way..
Last edited by Moy; 22nd October 2011 at 14:50. Reason: spelling:)
A place for everything, everything in its place.
for whatever his reasons, and it doesnt mean to say he is a bad guy, his intentions may well have been genuine, but maybe with his commitment to his own kids, and the pending commitment to you and your children, the needed anulment and all that it involves you becomming together, is such a lot to take on, it looks as though he has realised this, and now so should you,
he has come to realise his commitment is firstly to his own children and thats enough for most to cope with,
dont waste away your life waiting, your still young and you will and do have time to find someone who can give a life shared with you as a family
[QUOTE=Moy;320019]firstly im not a man YOU ARE NOT A MAN
children can and do come between there mum and dads new partners, but everyone has there own life to lead, we are not here longenough to care for everyone , each person is entitled to happyness, it seems to me you both had a ferw weeks , months of a new adventure, but i think its time to move on, both of you, i dont know this man only what you have written about him, hes not a bad man, hes torn between two lives his old and his new, only he can change that nobody else can, and until he is ready you are chasing a wasted course, i knew from the moment myself and Emma meet i wanted to be with her all my life no matter what others thought, we was talking on the computer for over 2 years getting to know each other , time to move on Lynn
[QUOTE=stevewool;320039]what do you think stevefirstly im not a man YOU ARE NOT A MANwool
A place for everything, everything in its place.
[QUOTE=stevewool;320039]what do you think stevefirstly im not a man YOU ARE NOT A MAN
Last edited by Moy; 22nd October 2011 at 17:39. Reason: double post:)
A place for everything, everything in its place.
now im confused about whose confused
[QUOTE=Moy;320044]you are everybit a women , well i think you are
what do you think steve
Photographic proof needed
If you want your dreams to come true ...... first you have to wake up
Oh I am sorry moy!it's ncoz u have no clear picture here, I didn't realize that u are a womanwhat I was trying to say was from the sight of a man, how do thy interpret the way my ex bf is showing to me now?He still talks to me regularly just like before though there just some slight changed like he don't call me "babe" anymore instead only "lynn" but as usual he is still sharing everything he does with his 18 yr old son staying with him now who just moved few days ago, he still sharing to me what happened @ work or what he plans to do next day and he still wanna know what did i do for the whole day when he is sleeping or at work. And I think I agree with steve.r & imagine it's more on the COMMITMENT & money matter. He realized he can't afford d annulment & the responsibility to his kids and to me & my boys as well really worried him so much. Anyways, reading the threads really makes ma feel better and helping me to slowly accept the reality. Thanks to all who shared and sorry if I sound stubborn, it's the feelings that I have for him that hinders me to move on but just like what moy said I have my kids who need me & much more to look forward to.
thats fine i am loopy at times reading some thread without realizingOh I am sorry moy!it's ncoz u have no clear picture here, I didn't realize that u are a woman what I was trying to say was from the sight of a manso as you see your not alone..hehehe
but cheer up..youll make it
just listen to this song for your emote moments
call me old fashioned but i do love old songs not being revise by various artist
A place for everything, everything in its place.
the little changes like not calling you babe" anymore instead only "lynn" it may seem a little thing,
i am sorry but it is a sure sign of him detatching from you,
accept how it is , and you will get through this ok,,, you will see, concentrate on yourself and your children for now , and all this will pass behind you
Moy & imagine thanks a lo & to all who shared their thoughts about my sad story ! such a great help for me to wake up from the reality & start moving on, it maybe hard @ the beginning but eventually I'll get over it. It's not my first break up so I know that I'll get over it if not soon but later for sure...
Anyways, pls forgive me if I wanna share something here that is not connected or has nothing to do with my story,it's just that when I try to post somewhere else I don't know anymore how to find it.It's about my friend , she was married with an American citizen before who died here in the Philippines. She got the death certificate from the NSO authenticated. Will she be able to use this and show to the UK embassy when applying for a spousal visa?will she not be required for more documents since his ex husband was an American like the she has to show a Death Certificate recognized or registered in the US?or the Death Certificate from the NSO itself is already ok since the husband died here in the Phils ?your reply is much appreciated.tnx
I so much agree with Graham... If he really is sincere about this relationship, he could just fly to where you really live and meet up with you there. If I am in your place, I wouldn't go to the hotel with a guy when I first met him.
>>--DonahMichael-->>
I don't want to criticise any lady for that....we're all different, but as a man I think I would feel disrespectful of a lady to ask her to put herself in that situation.
Hello Lynn , You have some good advice in these posts but I can probably understand why you might not act on it . I know myself that I should move on but I just cant do it yet , there are millions of other people in the world who I could probably be happy with but just one who I have been happy with but she now wants someone else . Why do we torture ourselves when deep down we know we should not look back to analyse where we went wrong , emotional weakness it maybe but at the moment cant do anything about it , just hoping time and talking to people will help .
Hi Peter! you're right there are still a lot of people out there that somehow can make us happy again but for me finding someone new right away will ease the pain, it will only worsen the situation in some way coz we are not being true to other people. If we haven't totally moved on yet and we jump into another relationship or dating it can be considered as using the other person,it's gonna be unfair to the person right?well, as of the moment I feel better being able to hear some good advices here. Honestly, I used to open my facebook right away as I turned on my computer but now I am more happy to be a part of this forum coz people in my facebook don't know yet about our break ups, my family, relatives and friends. I think time will tell them eventually if I am totally over him I'll have more courage to tell them. I love reading different stories and topics and I am learning a lot from here. And it really helped me a lot now...though me and my ex still talks but in some way if he wants me back I could be able to say now that we will just give each other more space and time coz I am afraid to be involved again with an unfixed mind, he just always change his mind every now and then. I am pretty ok now with our situation as being friends. With u Peter, good luck...i know u too deserve to be happy, 1 day we'll find our happiness with the right person at the right time.
thats the spririt Lynnglad to hear it from you..having courage to say that means you have the perseverance to move on..as ive told you on my early reply from your thread..i was on the same road as well
and i know exactyly how you feel.. we can only learn and grow on our experiences and i do think you know and understand of what i am trying to say..as a woman
goodluck
and please know along your way..one day someone or somehow will come to ease your pain and scars that has been in your heart and mind..
for now whenever i remember those days it just make me laugh how stupid i was "one moment day of my "life"
A place for everything, everything in its place.
I have spent/wasted so many years of my life moping over past relationships. It is soooo debilitating, and quite honestly....pointless.
Of course like everyone else, I wouldn't stop kidding myself.
This isn't a criticism of the above posters, more a case of 'I understand'.
you can only felt wasted if you yourself dont have the determination of staying to a relationship..moreover we cant blame anybody why there are moments of our life that we feel unsettle..i suppose
A place for everything, everything in its place.
thanks a lot moy! it's not my 1st heartbreak but it's my 1st time that I thought I finally found the man that I wanna spend the rest of my life coz he just got everything of my ideal man, intelligence/smart, nice attitude, very down to earth, calm, responsible yet since nobody is perfect he is the kind of person also that cannot fix his mind,when he feels good he says something nice but when he doesn't feel good he steps back and take his word back, cancel whatever plans. I can feel he loves me but there's a part that I feel the uncertainty of our relationship. Anyways, though the pain is still there but it's slowly healing so I would say I feel better now and I owe it all to all of u who shared their experiences and thoughts and advises as well. I start loving this group though I don't personally know any of u here but I am really glad to be a part of this forum. Thanks a lot and God bless us all!
Thanks grahamw! u sound a very kind and understanding person, guess all of us has different stories/cases so everyone & I respect everyone's opinion as well coz everyone is entitled of his/her opinion. I am not perfect and I believe none of us eitherI have spent/wasted so many years of my life moping over past relationships. It is soooo debilitating, and quite honestly....pointless.
Of course like everyone else, I wouldn't stop kidding myself.
This isn't a criticism of the above posters, more a case of 'I understand'.
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