ts always ben on what we earn, but must wives , partners and girlfriends will work once here, that too should be taken into account
ts always ben on what we earn, but must wives , partners and girlfriends will work once here, that too should be taken into account
Yeah but if the government are saying we havent to be on benifts, surely if a new partner is earning as well there is less chance of it ie.Originally Posted by lastlid
My earnings are above any entitlement to benifits but my new nurse wife will earn far more then me. So if i get paid off or something (which in this country there is a good chance and already happened in the past to me) she would probably be earning enough to still keep me off benifits until i get another job!
I do agree. But unfortunately the government don't see it like that. Not sure why exactly.Yeah but if the government are saying we havent to be on benifts, surely if a new partner is earning as well there is less chance of it ie.
My earnings are above any entitlement to benifits but my new nurse wife will earn far more then me. So if i get paid off or something (which in this country there is a good chance and already happened in the past to me) she would probably be earning enough to still keep me off benifits until i get another job!
I was loved up once and even got married and imported her into the uk
I tried to get her a visitors visa first but that was declined which seems to be the norm if the woman does not own any property or have a big bank account and a good job
in these cases they just tell you "oh she has nothing to return to"
eventually we were married but this was only to secure her entry to the uk
if they had let her come for a visit then i doubt if i would have got married
my point is that the immigration service actually force you down the marriage route !
granting a visitors visa with some kind of "bond" which is not returned if she does not return would be a much better way forward
yes i know that and have been all through it aswell
They have to base the decision on what paperwork is in front of them
Of course some poor guy might end up with a very "tamad" wife who has no intention of working once she arrives here
Whatever ELSE she was ... she WASN'T a commodity!
But, the fact that she seems to have married you for all the wrong reasons, does, at least, help me to understand your cynical attitude a bit better.
i wish you wouldnt use the word import when refering to a human being, it makes it sound like you see the ladies as property
i totaly agree with that , its sensible as it avoids rushing into getting wed
Good methodical reply Arthur.Whatever ELSE she was ... she WASN'T a commodity!
But, the fact that she seems to have married you for all the wrong reasons, does, at least, help me to understand your cynical attitude a bit better.
That's the problem ... in nine cases out of every ten, unfortunately.
And a very! At long last ... you seem to be coming round to MOST members' way of thinking!
Once again ...; I'm sure every one of us is right behind you there!
Good methodical reply Arthur.
I can see how this could happen. But I am not so certain that it is at all prevalent.
I dont know what that quote has to do with this either.
it normally goes along these lines
you get married and move to her country and become a "sitting duck"
you get demands for money from her family and even her distant relatives (which she hardly knows)
sooner or later you will have to say no due to the amount of demands
then they loose face and you will have to be dealt with
you are the kanu with bags of money and you cant even help her relatives out (in their eyes)
while all this is going on your wife will be stuck in the middle
motor bike accident is a good way and not too much intrest from the police
if they are really ruthless they will just have you shot (not expensive)
a failed robbery attempt at your home (you end up dead) is not uncommon
in thailand they simply push you off some high rise apartment block (pattaya condo jumpers)
I remember not to long ago reading about some poor guy from swindon
the relatives lured him to a remote part of the country clubbed him to death and then fed his body parts to the pigs
his wife did get convicted in the end
rare and uncommon maybe but it does happen
these things happen all over the world , there is good and bad in everyone,
as for family and relatives demanding money, seems you made the mistake at the beginning,
yes contribute to help the closer relatives who urgently need hospital treatment, but with second sight perhaps you ought to have just matched the amont other family members clubbed in,
perhaps you gave them the impression you had loads of money from day one, big mistake,
start as you mean to go on, thats my motto,
reading between the lines ,,,,,, i think perhaps you are angry and hurt inside because of your experience, get it out your system then put it in the past mate, where it belongs and move forward,
before it eats you up
I was never taken for a ride by my x wifes family and they received nothing from me
after we were married and we made our first visit to her country i met with her family and told them in no uncertain terms that i did not have any money to give them, of course that went down like a lead balloon but it had to be done
the problem is that most people in that part of the world think that all foreigners are loaded with endless amounts of money, as if we all have money trees in our back gardens
i have seen it with my friends and even to this day they are foolish enough to keep on giving their money away, the more money you give out the more they will demand and expect
for me this is not a true loving relationship its like they are buying their "sweethearts" love
deep down inside surely these guys must know that this is all wrong
they delude themselves they they have found real love and need to wise up fast
True london I really dont understand why these guys give their gf family money lol I would not if it for hospital then yes I would but that would be the only reason.
My gf got a good job and she send her parents money but she said when she quits her job to be with me her sisters will be the ones to take care them but i made it clear i wont be sending them money or anything after we married im not sweet guy I told her that and she fine she soo sweet lol only wants me nothing else matter she said if she get job in uk she will send them money with her own money.
who cares if you send money or not, its your money you can do what you want with it
some relationships dont work out for what ever reason but the vast majority do, its not common on here to read about break ups
Yes let them bleed the guy dry and when the pera has finished they leave as wellwho cares if you send money or not, its your money you can do what you want with it
some relationships dont work out for what ever reason but the vast majority do, its not common on here to read about break ups
well from what i have seen i would give it 50/50 on these relationships lasting
"dont get married" is the best bit of advice i received in the philippines
You make some wise points and are going about things in the right way
Some of these guys even try and justify their unwise behavior
"i am just helping her family out nothing wrong with that"
"in this part of the world its normal to support the relatives"
So why does it has to be all her way ? we dont engage in things like this in the uk
I am sure that if most of these guys were having a relationship with a uk based girl then they would not be so fast to throw their money at her relatives = i wonder why
Some of these guys even try and justify their unwise behaviorI don't support my wife's family. And they don't seem to expect it. And my wife has never asked me to.I am sure that if most of these guys were having a relationship with a uk based girl then they would not be so fast to throw their money at her relatives = i wonder why
dont you have any good points to say about your life, it seems you have been burned so you expect everyone to go through the same thing, there is good and bad in lots of us, some just unlucky, time to move on and take another chance it seems, or just say good luck to who every gives the advice or seeks advice
Of course this is not the case for all relationships between the east and west but in the vast majority of these relationships
i think you find that it is
i base my opinion on what i have seen and know and what goes on in these places
most of these families are only too happy to find out that a female member of the family is about to get married to a "kanu"
they really feel that they have hit the "jackpot" and all their financial problems will be solved
I dont blame the woman in all these cases and most of them are under a lot of pressure to provide funds for everyone back home
in the province
Yes it may be all "hunky dory" to start with but when the demands for money start coming in (and they will do) they then will find themselves in not such a great situation
It is important that these guys realize and understand what they are really getting into
My points about these relationships are not based upon my own personal experiences, its more to do with what i see all going on around me. I was married for over 10 years and i was never taken to the cleaners even when i became divorced, It is important that someone should give another side of these relationships even if that means it becomes uncomfortable reading for somedont you have any good points to say about your life, it seems you have been burned so you expect everyone to go through the same thing, there is good and bad in lots of us, some just unlucky, time to move on and take another chance it seems, or just say good luck to who every gives the advice or seeks advice
well in with both eyes wide open they say, over 4 years now and life is great would not change it for anything, i love my emma and yes i know she loves me,
You seem really hung up about money, everything seems to be about keeping your money. Chill out go and spend some of it you might enjoy it.My points about these relationships are not based upon my own personal experiences, its more to do with what i see all going on around me. I was married for over 10 years and i was never taken to the cleaners even when i became divorced, It is important that someone should give another side of these relationships even if that means it becomes uncomfortable reading for some
You seem to have had a bad experience and then attempt to assume every relationship with a woman goes in the same direction as yours. You can't take it with you so you may aswell enjoy it while your here.
Sure if I go to the Philippines I don't mind treating my wifes family because I have more than them but they don't ask me and besides the love and hospitality they shower me with when I'm there is priceless.
Come on let's all get behind this. Ask friends and family members to sign too.
We've only 109 signatures.
I've been married 10yrsYes let them bleed the guy dry and when the pera has finished they leave as well
well from what i have seen i would give it 50/50 on these relationships lasting
"dont get married" is the best bit of advice i received in the philippines
i was shocked to see so few signatures
Ok great and i am really happy for you
it is only when guys tell me "my girlfriend is different and not like the rest of them" is when i start to get worried
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