Hello all,
I just felt that I needed to say a huge thank-you to this forum again. The amount of help I have received from the guys and gals who have posted on this forum over the years has been sensational. Nothing more, nothing less.
I met Sheila via Yahoo Dominoes in 2005 - we first met in person in Hong Kong in 2007, and later we met in Singapore. Sheila had to seek an annulment to her previous marriage, and shortly after this we applied for a Spouse visa that entitled her and her daughter to move to the UK.
We got married in July 2009, and had a baby son in May 2010. In between that, of course, Shei got an FLR visa. Just this week she received her ILR visa and so our path is complete on that front (of course, naturalisation question will arise some time in the future). Shei's daughter is doing well in school, so well that she is in the top set for English - quite an amazing turnaround.
Of course, we have the odd bad moment, the odd disagreement, the occasional bout of homesickness, and the odd 3-1 defeat at home to Blackpool in the Championship. It is, by no means, all smooth running, but it is the greatest time of my life. I was asked recently what the best moment of my life is, and I answered "now, this".
I really apologise for being absent from the forum, it has been a hectic 2 years (nearly 3) since Shei arrived.
Some tips for you.
1) Don't ever give up. Our situation may have been a little more complicated than others - because of the divorce laws in the Phils and the fact Shei had a daughter who was coming with her. We succeeded in beating those demons.
2) Consider posting applications for visas as opposed to showing up. Why? Because surely it is something that can wait 6-12 weeks to get a result. I know the wait can be nerve-wracking, but be confident that ILR applications will nearly always be successful. Showing up costs twice as much as a postal application - and I'm not altogether sure it's worth the extra dough. Of course, it's horses for courses, but give this matter some serious thought.
3) For the UK based spouse/partner - remember there are times when your partner will be homesick. It's a tough thing to crack, and I am at my most distressed when Shei is homesick. Calls home, web cams, trips back, the odd parcel sent away - all little things that can help. But, there really is no place like home.
4) Listen to the advice on the forum. Of course, don't take the advice as being 100% correct - but it is almost always good advice and some of the guys here have helped me so much in my darkest days.
If your relationship and your love is genuine, and is for the right reasons, then you will succeed. I well remember waking at 4am to chat to Shei on line, and the misunderstandings that come from chatting via an Instant Messenger. I rarely go online now, seems I still have net fatigue from 3-4 years of doing that!
This forum has helped countless couples get together, thanks to this place, my determination, Shei's patience, and a touch of good fortune, there's a little boy eating porridge in the corner, there's a little girl doing well at school, and there's a man and a woman having the time of their lives. Multiply that by hundreds and thousands. What an experience - ain't life grand?
Thanks for posting this Ady. Congratulations for having such a happy life with your family. I learned that, most people give up just when they're about to achieve success. They quit on the one yard line. They give up at the last minute of the game one foot from a winning touchdown. So you're absolutely right to never give up. 
Originally Posted by Ady
