Hi Bruce,
We have same problem, I lodged my application 15th of November 2011. December, January and February I got loads of email from the British Embassy and phone calls because I lack 1 document which is my English certificate (it's a long story)
The British Embassy kept giving me a lot of extensions. The staff there called at our house on the 16th of Feb and said that They need to make the decision because they can only hold the application for 3 months (i got lucky because I borrowed my passport at the british embassy so that I can take another exam) and I said to her on the phone, Miss, I borrowed my passport for a while because I need it to take the exam (as my ID). She let me waited for a min so she can talk to the case manager that holds my app. and when she went back to me she said that "okay, The case manager will not decide today, just return your passport in the embassy together with your english result, just make sure to return it before this month (February) will end."
Me and my fiancee are very happy because they've given us a lot of time to give the 1 lacking document.
I submitted my passport and english result already and it arrived at the embassy 23rd of Feb. I got an email from them today (28th of Feb) saying that my passport and english result will be forwarded to the ECO. We are still crossing our fingers for the good outcome.
BTW, my fiancee emailed the embassy before and wrote to them about my english cert (using my Manila reference number) but they called me and said that "your fiancee emailed to us and asked us regarding to your english cert, sorry but we can't share anything to your fiancee about this matter because it is between you and us" and I even said, oh okay even if he is my sponsor? they said yes, you can talk to him about it but with us, it is between the applicant and us. We can't disclose information to other people.
but with your case, did the embassy try to contact your wife? or ask anything lacking for you to comply it?