Might be about to make myself unpopular if anyone actually lives in Bradford here, but if the UK was to be given an enema, then Bradford is surely where they would stick the tube!

Put aside the ethnic stuff for a moment, it is just a total dump. First thing you will notice when travelling there by car, is that there is no "nice route" to the centre. Travel from Halifax, and you pass through the estate where "Rita, Sue and Bob Too" was filmed - and it really is like that there. Travel from Leeds and your mood sinks as soon as you enter Bradford after a huge roundabout with a park in the middle. Don't visit the cinema unless you're from a certain local community as I know people who have been told "This isn't a white mans cinema". Next door is a travelodge - and who in hells name would stay there

Come from Harrogate end, and you pass through Holmewood estate. It's been described as the wild west - and this atmosphere is bolstered by the fact there are horses grazing on the grass embankments everywhere - the place is full of gypsys. Seriously, it's famous for it.

Leaving aside the suburbs, the city centre is a prime example of a failing retail unit. There has been massive demolition of 60's concrete buildings, but they haven't yet rebuilt so there's a huge hole right in the middle. Every other shop unit is either closing, boarded up or is in poor condition. The so called "best" shopping area -the Kingsgate -is a sea of mobile phone shops.

The area they did rebuild, they made a quite nice stone square near city hall- the best restaurant which opened - Chinathai (An all you can eat oriental buffet) - well it has closed down! Bleeping says it all.

Even the leisure unit which opened some years ago as a bit of Leeds in Bradford, well the funky gas lighted flame poles have been replaced by low energy lighting and fake grass, the place is dirty and gum-splattered, and one eatery has already closed and is empty.

If you take a short walk up the hill from the shopping area, then you might wonder why there are women wearing very little in winter. Don't slow down if you're driving up that hill, as the police regularly take number plates.

Yes, welcome to Bradford - you're bloody welcome to it!