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Thread: Stress time - wedding approaching

  1. #1
    Respected Member Rory's Avatar
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    Stress time - wedding approaching

    I am applying for my certificate of no Impediment on March the 6th, appointment booked.
    My girlfriend is wanting a church wedding in the Philippines, I have no problem with this but there is so much red tape but I am getting though it. Question I have now is that I am divorced and my girlfriend says this is not a problem with the church, I think it might be, I have my baptism and confirmation documents that the church require, I will be emailing these to her in the next few days. When I spoke to the registrar she told me I need to know the church that we are getting married in and this will be on the CNI document that I get and we can only get married at this venue, no other place. Will be CNI from the uk and the equivalent document in the Philippines say I am single or divorced as this might be a problem with the church if it says I am a divorced man?
    If the church refuse us to marry in the church then we will not be getting married in May as planned because of the venue stated.
    Advise here would be very helpful and calm us both down a little.


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    Quote Originally Posted by Rory View Post
    I am applying for my certificate of no Impediment on March the 6th, appointment booked.
    My girlfriend is wanting a church wedding in the Philippines, I have no problem with this but there is so much red tape but I am getting though it. Question I have now is that I am divorced and my girlfriend says this is not a problem with the church, I think it might be, I have my baptism and confirmation documents that the church require, I will be emailing these to her in the next few days. When I spoke to the registrar she told me I need to know the church that we are getting married in and this will be on the CNI document that I get and we can only get married at this venue, no other place. Will be CNI from the uk and the equivalent document in the Philippines say I am single or divorced as this might be a problem with the church if it says I am a divorced man?
    If the church refuse us to marry in the church then we will not be getting married in May as planned because of the venue stated.
    Advise here would be very helpful and calm us both down a little.
    Rory, your fiancee really needs to have a very serious and honest discussion with the priest if you want to get the 'low-down'

    In basic principle, and as a good starting point the answer , in technical terms is NO

    Now, come some specific questions:-
    Were you baptised Catholic?
    Did you get married in Catholic Church?

    Please don't think that your specific answers will reveal a different answer to the 'no' already given, especially given the time-scale.
    But, the answers may help the priest in the Philippines in his discussion with your fiancee.

    Good luck


  3. #3
    Respected Member Rory's Avatar
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    I was baptised in a Protestant church and was married in a chapel in America, not got a clue what the Religion was in the chapel as money talks in the U.S.
    Having been baptised as a Christian, catholic or Protestant, I am still recognised as have been baptised and this is not a problem, I have checked on this. I got a full proper christain baptism.


  4. #4
    Respected Member bigmarco's Avatar
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    Rory
    I am a divorced Catholic and the church refused to marry me in October. I had all the documents you had but seemingly it wasn't enough even after originally stating it was. Apparently they required a letter from some catholic commission in the UK confirming I was ok to marry and this would have taken weeks/months to get.
    Fortunately we had a Plan B so as soon as I got my local CNI we registered for a civil ceremony and got married 10 days later.
    The Church is unreliable over there in my experience and tend to make the rules up as they go along.
    I strongly urge you to have a Plan B to avoid disappointment.
    Good Luck


  5. #5
    Respected Member bigmarco's Avatar
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    Just t let you know that you need to provide proof of Divorce to enable you to get CNI.


  6. #6
    Respected Member Rory's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by bigmarco View Post
    Just t let you know that you need to provide proof of Divorce to enable you to get CNI.
    Thank you for the advise, i think it is best that we just plan a civil as there is enough worry about things going wrong without the church changing its mind or refusing as it seems likely. I have all my paperwork ready which includes my original copies of my Absolute and Birth Certificate.


  7. #7
    Respected Member Rory's Avatar
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    When applying for my CNI do i have to state the venue of the marriage or just the city, which is Cebu?


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    Respected Member stevie c's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Rory View Post
    When applying for my CNI do i have to state the venue of the marriage or just the city, which is Cebu?
    Rory Just the city will do




    AN HAPPY WIFE IS A HAPPY LIFE


  9. #9
    Moderator Arthur Little's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by bigmarco View Post
    Rory

    I am a divorced Catholic and the church refused to marry me in October.
    Sadly ... I knew of ANOTHER instance whereupon the priest-in-charge of a particular church refused to marry a couple because the groom-to-be, a former Anglican, was divorced - even though both parties had been regularly attending that church for some time, beforehand.

    Matters were eventually resolved when the bloke became a Catholic himself. However, the couple were still obliged to take their vows at a neighbouring church ... instead of the one they'd chosen in the first place.


  10. #10
    Respected Member Rory's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by stevie c View Post
    Rory Just the city will do
    Thanks Stevie, that has helped.

    From all the various tales of churches it is going to be a lot easier to avoid them and their protocol.


  11. #11
    Respected Member stevie c's Avatar
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    Hi Rory
    Me & my wife had a simple civil ceromany in the phils so much less hastle & much quicker at the end of the day what matters is that you are husband & wife imo




    AN HAPPY WIFE IS A HAPPY LIFE


  12. #12
    Respected Member scottishbride's Avatar
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    Hello Rory! My hubby and I had a wonderful Church wedding in Santuario De San Jose Church Greenhills. But It was like jumping into hoops. It was difficult but in the end it went well. They will need loads of documentation from you. Your fiancee needs to go to intramuros for permission of mixed marriage. here's the link..http://www.kasal.com/html/philippine...marriages.html Hope this will help!


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    Respected Member andy222's Avatar
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    We were refused a church wedding because I was divorced. But we got married on a beach so all was well. You can get married in church but it is a lengthy process. They need statements from you and your ex wife as to why your marriage failed. Then you have to have witnesses who knew you and your ex wife. They need statements from them. All the evidence goes before 3 priests in england and they decide if you are allowed to get married in a catholic church. Believe me I looked into it and thought stuff it in the end. My wife was just as grateful to get married in Boracay..


  14. #14
    Respected Member Rory's Avatar
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    Thank you for the advise 'Scottishbride", but i think i will taking the easy route of civil now. Just have to break the news to my wife to be.
    She will understand, at the end of the day, we will be married and start to process more paperwork to get her here before the government start moving goalposts again.


  15. #15
    Respected Member Rory's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by andy222 View Post
    We were refused a church wedding because I was divorced. But we got married on a beach so all was well. You can get married in church but it is a lengthy process. They need statements from you and your ex wife as to why your marriage failed. Then you have to have witnesses who knew you and your ex wife. They need statements from them. All the evidence goes before 3 priests in england and they decide if you are allowed to get married in a catholic church. Believe me I looked into it and thought stuff it in the end. My wife was just as grateful to get married in Boracay..
    That has totally convinced me now.


  16. #16
    Respected Member andy222's Avatar
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    There is still a lot to do after your cni but i guess you already know this. Good luck with everything.


  17. #17
    Respected Member Rory's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by andy222 View Post
    There is still a lot to do after your cni but i guess you already know this. Good luck with everything.
    i am always open for any help and advice, if i forget anything or do not know about something i should have filled in, completed or sent off and do not have a document before i leave these shores i will be in big trouble. I will be applying for a Cenomar soon for both of us, that is my next job, then book a date and time with the consul in Cebu.


  18. #18
    Respected Member bigmarco's Avatar
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    By the way Rory I arranged my appointment with the British Embassy in Manilla to get my local CNI before I left England. That way you turn up at the Embassy with all your documents and they issue it there and then.


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    Respected Member andy222's Avatar
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    Apointments at the british embassy have to be made by email now. If you just turn up they wont see you. I dont know how far you have got so excuse me if you have already done that. Oh and dont forget you have to wait 10 days over there for the marriage licence.


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    Quote Originally Posted by andy222 View Post
    We were refused a church wedding because I was divorced. But we got married on a beach so all was well. You can get married in church but it is a lengthy process. They need statements from you and your ex wife as to why your marriage failed. Then you have to have witnesses who knew you and your ex wife. They need statements from them. All the evidence goes before 3 priests in england and they decide if you are allowed to get married in a catholic church. Believe me I looked into it and thought stuff it in the end. My wife was just as grateful to get married in Boracay..
    WOW I didn't realise what a headache we had saved ourselves by having a civil wedding.


  21. #21
    Respected Member Rory's Avatar
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    I will be over there for just short of a month so i should have enough time, i will still book appointment via email here before i travel.


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    Quote Originally Posted by Rory View Post
    I will be over there for just short of a month so i should have enough time, i will still book appointment via email here before i travel.
    Yep. We did it in much less, so you will do it comfortably.


  23. #23
    Respected Member bigmarco's Avatar
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    Yep Rory I went for 3 weeks and 4 days in October and we managed to get everything done and even went to Boracay for a few days while we were waiting for the licence.Good Luck


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    Don't you just love the forgiving and compassionate Church ?

    ...No wonder I'm an Atheist.

    Good luck to you both with your civil ceremony.


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