Serious Problem with My wife and Son, she stole him....

[bruneicop]

I nee your advice and maybe some calm heads.

When we went back to manila 3 weeks ago my wife disappeared with my son, not telling me where they were etc. (basically parental abduction)
She is threatning me that i will never see him again and its causing me nothing but concern.

I love my son so much I just want to be with him and know he is safe.

My wife is an ex bar girl, and I believe she will go back working in the bar (its the only way she can make money at the moment) and it scares the hell outta me my son being brought up in that enviroment,

I want to try and take him back to singapore with me, (we have residency rights in singapore) but i dont know if i can legally do it without going through the courts.

I am supposed to be going back to manila on Saturday to see him. (I have been pleading with her to give me some time with him)

She is being irresposible like yesterday she left the boy ( not even 2 yet) with her niece who is 15 and is still not back at the tie of writing this at 9.40 am the next day and no one can contact her

Nowi have a way (but this may get me into trouble and i guess that why i am asking for some advice.

I was thinking that i could go to british embassy as say his passport has been lost / stolen and get an emergency replacement (obtain a police report but tell them the truth that i have my son and my wife wont give me his passport and i dont know where she is etc) so that its truthful.


Embassy would then issue me an emergency passport and i would leave manila immediately with my son and return to singapore. (I dont want to stop my wife seeing him, i just cant go through this all the time knowing he is not safe)

This will only work if i can see him for a few hours to get passport photo etc.

Is this a viable way? is there another way

Everythign is running through my mind right now, i really dont know what to do.

Help is needed

Thanks in advance

[Vische]

i'm so sorry to hear that bruneicop, i wish you could find a way to arrange this thing with your wife and son, this is really a very hard time for your son the most. But im sorry i don't know any means to this matter, i think this will go onto court since the custody of the child is to be decided. Be brave and trust God that he will take care of your son until you found him.

[tanga]

bruneicop
This is not the first time i have heard a case like this and it surely wont be the last
I dont think it is right to condone any illegal activity on forum
But I understand your frustration and why you are exploring all avenues of possibility
From a legal point of view the courts here will always side with a child's mother
until the age of 11(i think) when the wishes of a child are considered. You would have
a chance if there was any allegation of neglect but even then the court may not allow the child
to be taken out of Philippines.
My advice,for what it is worth,is to try to come to an arrangement with your wife.
Even some kind of financial incentive as she will struggle without regular income
It would help if some of the family members were on your side
You may have to play a waiting game but consider your actions carefully and
keep within the law. Be aware that a child travelling out of Philippines with a foreign
father could arouse suspicion

[malditako]

family code in philippines states that no child under seven of age shall separated from the mother unless the courts finds compelling reasons otherwise...that answer your question about the legal age a child may choose which parent they want to live.

This rule is not absolute. Even a mother may be deprived of the custody of her child who is below seven years of age for “compelling reasons.” Instances of unsuitability are neglect, abandonment, unemployment and immorality, habitual drunkenness, drug addiction, maltreatment of the child, insanity, and affliction with a communicable illness. Negligent and careless failure to perform the duties of parenthood is a significant element of abandonment, regardless of actual intention. A strong basis for a finding of the parent’s abandonment of his or her child is found in the case where the parent has left the child permanently or indefinitely in the care of others, given it to another, or surrendered it entirely.

if in the future you may want to pursue the case to court you have to gather evidences as early as possible

hope this help

[bruneicop]

hi folks,

yeah i was being a little bit irrantional this morning.

Its just hurst that she can take him away and ultimately decide his fate. (right now i dont even know where they are living as she wont tell me)

He has a british passport only not aa philippine one

[bruneicop]

and he looks exactly like me, (infact he is whiter than me) so we wouldnt arouse suspicion on that side

[rusty]

http://ukinthephilippines.fco.gov.uk...hild-abduction

Here is some information from the British Embassy website, it has some information and links that may be useful for you.

Good luck

[Terpe]

bruneicop
I'm so sorry to hear of this and I understand your emotions and the frustration of your position.

I only wish I could provide some meaningful solution, and I'm sorry that I cannot.

You may need to think through a workable strategy from start to finish.

I would suggest you only consider those with a secure outcome.
Do not expect that the British Embassy will do much for you, and consider carefully how you approach them, if in fact that's what you decide to do at this time.

In the meantime my prayers and good wishes go with you.

[grahamw48]

I fully sympathise, as I was put in a similar position with my (ex) wife and son, the difference being that she was in the UK and I was worried about her taking him out of the country.

I got a court order from a Judge preventing her from doing so.

Anyway, regarding your situation, and looking at things totally pragmatically, your child is a British citizen so in theory the Phils government have no jurisdiction over him. That's the way I see it anyway, but you may wish to seek legal advice about that.

With a BRITISH passport or travel document, and being the age he is, there should be no reason why you cannot fly out of the country with him.

There should also be no reason for you to explain the purpose of your journey to any authority. You are his legal guardian/parent, and the British Embassy will only need the supporting documents to enable replacement of his passport. (Birth certificate ?....and preferably copy or at least the number of his original passport.)

[Whoosh]

Take it or leave this advice - but I have knowledge

Roll over and play dead. if you want the chance to get your son in the future you must do what ever is needed to defuse the situation

Forget the Philippines court and the British embassy - PH is not a signatry to the Hauge convention

Make your plans - make them slow - save money - talk sweet - be humble and contrite and then go when the time is right - no need to get him out of the country by recognised means - possession is 90% of the law

Whoosh

[junior02]

hi folks,

yeah i was being a little bit irrantional this morning.

Its just hurst that she can take him away and ultimately decide his fate. (right now i dont even know where they are living as she wont tell me)

He has a british passport only not aa philippine one

Hi if you get your son, you might have a problem at the airport, as normally immigration want to see a letter of consent from the mother if a foriegn father is taking a child abroad whithout ther mum and its harder and they ask more questions if the child hasnt got a filipino pport as well as ther foriegn pport..I would get your son a filipino pport if you can, but i no not easy for you to do at moment. best of luck..

[grahamw48]

If the father has a BRITISH passport and the son has a BRITISH passport (which I believe the OP has intimated), why would immigration question a man taking HIS child out of the country ?

I have done this on several occasions, as has my ex-wife.

Indeed I have also sent my son home 'unaccompanied' from the Phils when he was 9 years old.

No permissions were required from the Phils gvt.

Getting the child a Filipino passport is the last thing he needs to do.

[junior02]

Immigration at mnl may not check every lone foriegn father but they do do it. Best thing bruneicop is to have return tickets just encase your 1 of the unlucky ones that do have probs, at least it looks like you will return it may rise eyebrows if you only got 1way tickets if they start asking questions why your taking him whithout his filipino mother...

[grahamw48]

Where on a child's passport does it say what nationality the mother is ?

It DOES state that he is a BRITISH citizen, so providing his visas/balikbayan stamp (if required at that age) are in order and therefore he is not an overstayer, what authority do the Philippines Immigration have to stop him from travelling ?

I also have two Filipino step-children.

Now the question of THEM leaving the Phils (Filipino passports) when still minors was quite a different matter.

[Steve.r]

My son has got a British passport (4 months old) , and I am sure I would have no trouble taking him back home to UK with me alone, after all, who is to say the mother is still alive (only example)

[grahamw48]

....or waiting for you in the UK.

My boy had his own British passport at 2 months...just so that he COULD travel alone with either parent.