Bruce,
I only just read you post a few minutes ago.
I'm so sorry that to hear what happened.
Yes, you do need to discuss with an experienced and qualified adviser.
I have tried to PM you, but you have elected not to accept PM
Can you change your settings to accept PM?
As others have indicated, this ECO has taken the view that the requirements for 'Sole Responsibility' have not been met.
There is obviously a belief on the part of the ECO that the bio-parent has been responsible in some part for care and has also taken an active interest in the child's welfare.
Sole responsibility can often be a complicated issue and for that reason I feel you need professional help to put forward the strongest case possible.