Advice please!!

[melovesengland]

I am having hard time writing a letter stating that my parents will look after my daughter while I'm away of course with the help of my siblings.

I cannot take my daughter with me to England because she is enjoying her studies, she finished her nursery level and will continue her studies this coming school year. I don't want to interrupt on her learnings by taking her with me to the UK cos for me its being selfish.

Does anybody here experienced or have done this before? Can I get some tips and advices out of you guys? Many tnx in advance.

[grahamw48]

If you're coming on a Spouse/Fiancee visa....(you don't state which)....

better to take her sooner rather than later, and less visa problems for you bringing her here than by leaving her with relations.

The education system is better here, and she will adjust more easily at a younger age.

Just my opinion, but I have already brought two young children here from the Phils.

If coming on a visitor visa, then maybe easier to leave her there.

[raynaputi]

Like what Graham said, it's best to take your kid along with you here in the UK if you'll be on a spouse/fiancee visa. It would be more difficult for you to prove in the future the sole custody for your child especially if she'll be left in the Philippines for a long time under the care of relatives.

[melovesengland]

If you're coming on a Spouse/Fiancee visa....(you don't state which)....

better to take her sooner rather than later, and less visa problems for you bringing her here than by leaving her with relations.

The education system is better here, and she will adjust more easily at a younger age.

Just my opinion, but I have already brought two young children here from the Phils.

If coming on a visitor visa, then maybe easier to leave her there.

Im sorry Im absent minded at the moment. hehehe. I am applying for a Fiancee Visa and will lodge my application this coming 26th of April.

The child doesnt want to go with me cos shes fond and used to be surrounded by my family aside from shes having a great time learning at school. I left her here when I went to the UK last year for a visit visa and it worked well.

Im really having a hard time what to do? I dont want her to force to come with me if she dont wanted to.

What do u think is the best thing to do in my case?

[melovesengland]

Like what Graham said, it's best to take your kid along with you here in the UK if you'll be on a spouse/fiancee visa. It would be more difficult for you to prove in the future the sole custody for your child especially if she'll be left in the Philippines for a long time under the care of relatives.

We are planning to write a letter stating that my parents will look after her like what happened last year when I left the PI for my hols in the UK. I will also let them read and sign, anyway they already agreed and its not a problem with them.

I am just thinking of my daughters life when she get to the UK at that age, she might find it strange and be homesick as she loves and fond of my sister and parents much.

[Terpe]

Im sorry Im absent minded at the moment. hehehe. I am applying for a Fiancee Visa and will lodge my application this coming 26th of April.

The child doesnt want to go with me cos shes fond and used to be surrounded by my family aside from shes having a great time learning at school. I left her here when I went to the UK last year for a visit visa and it worked well.

Im really having a hard time what to do? I dont want her to force to come with me if she dont wanted to.

What do u think is the best thing to do in my case?

Since you're on a settlement visa and since you've asked the question, I'll give my honest opinion.
Take you child with you.

It's quite likely that you'll find some difficulty in bringing your child to UK later.
It all depends how long you leave it and how you extend your responsibility towards the care.

Be very careful about writing any letter stating who will take care of your child and how. It's very easy to be interpreted as giving up some part of responsibility. Personally I would forget any idea about that letter

Just my opinion.

[melovesengland]

Since you're on a settlement visa and since you've asked the question, I'll give my honest opinion.
Take you child with you.

It's quite likely that you'll find some difficulty in bringing your child to UK later.
It all depends how long you leave it and how you extend your responsibility towards the care.

Be very careful about writing any letter stating who will take care of your child and how. It's very easy to be interpreted as giving up some part of responsibility. Personally I would forget any idea about that letter

Just my opinion.

Thank you very much for this Sir Terpe. I guess, we need to plan and consider your ideas and opinions about this issue.

I just dont know whats the best thing to do as of the moment. My daughter doesnt want to come with me to the UK which gives me more of a hard time. Phew.

[Moy]

Terpe is correct take your child with you we got similar situation but in my case i come in the UK IN a spouse visa not fiancee but regardless of that it save you the hastle for the future of your child.
and to think its only one kid for you ..come to think i got 3 small children but i manage i supposed struggling at times but its all good..all myself.all day and night from waking in the morning and getting up to sch and getting them to sch..feeding etc..everything

[melovesengland]

Terpe is correct take your child with you we got similar situation but in my case i come in the UK IN a spouse visa not fiancee but regardless of that it save you the hastle for the future of your child.
and to think its only one kid for you ..come to think i got 3 small children but i manage i supposed struggling at times but its all good..all myself.all day and night from waking in the morning and getting up to sch and getting them to sch..feeding etc..everything

Your kids are Filos?

[Moy]

Your kids are Filos?

Filos can you explain more or you mean filipino lolz..obvious you are so young in mind (jokes)
2 are half if you know what i mean the eldest is genuine filos as you SAY

[melovesengland]

Filos can you explain more or you mean filipino lolz..obvious you are so young in mind (jokes)
2 are half if you know what i mean the eldest is genuine filos as you SAY

Filos is short-term for Filipinos. I use these words to save me up from typing.

[Moy]

Filos is short-term for Filipinos. I use these words to save me up from typing.

aha morag ka text mate lang tah ...bugay pud ka noh..lolz.
to mod apologize for the language

[melovesengland]

aha morag ka text mate lang tah ...bugay pud ka noh..lolz.
to mod apologize for the language

I thnk its not new to use shrt term wrds on the internet, I reckon you know that. Also, Im lazy on typing so I prefer using those wrds. No need to apologies, thats fine.

[Moy]

I thnk its not new to use shrt term wrds on the internet, I reckon you know that. Also, Im lazy on typing so I prefer using those wrds. No need to apologies, thats fine.

well all have different idea and being complete on thoughts and words save a lot of bother for those whose not used to it..

[melovesengland]

well all have different idea and being complete on thoughts and words save a lot of bother for those whose not used to it..

Well, we got options dont we? And I think, words like those aren't new for people nowadays. Sometimes, we need to adapt new things for us to be able to communicate now in our new generation. But, I understand your concern and I respect that.

[Maria B]

Like what Graham said, it's best to take your kid along with you here in the UK if you'll be on a spouse/fiancee visa. It would be more difficult for you to prove in the future the sole custody for your child especially if she'll be left in the Philippines for a long time under the care of relatives.

[melovesengland]

Tnx Maria B. Im currently reading and browsing bout visa for kids. Tnx for your opinions guys! Very much appreciated!

[joebloggs]

just recently there has been an increase in visa refusals for children because of 'sole responsibility'
how old is your daughter ?
if you decide to leave her behind, it might be wise to state that once your settled you will be applying for a visa for her, and state you make all the decisions that effect her daily life.
is there any contact still btw your daughter and the bio father ? have you ever been apart from your daughter?

[grahamw48]

You really need to decide who is in charge....you or your child.

I can tell you that my parents took me to Malaya when I was 4 years old. My brother who was five and my sister who was 3 also went. We stayed 3 years and the experience was brilliant and in no way affected our happiness, rather it boosted it. We certainly didn't miss 'back home'.

My (Filipina) ex-wife and I brought her 2 children to the UK from the Philippines when they were 7 years and 9 years old. On the way they spent a few months in Hong Kong.

They have grown up in the UK, have NOT missed their other relations and friends back home and are both at university here now. (We have taken them back for holidays and one extended trip).

Bringing your child here at the age she is will simply enrich her life and give her much better prospects in the future. At the age she is, she's extremely unlikely to be held back educationally.

[melovesengland]

just recently there has been an increase in visa refusals for children because of 'sole responsibility'
how old is your daughter ?
if you decide to leave her behind, it might be wise to state that once your settled you will be applying for a visa for her, and state you make all the decisions that effect her daily life.
is there any contact still btw your daughter and the bio father ? have you ever been apart from your daughter?

My daughter will turn 4 this Tuesday. Yes, thats what were planning, if i get settled there in the UK then right after I will get her to live with us. She will find it really hard as she is very fond of her grandparents and my siblings. I left her last year when I went to the UK for 5 months and my parents looked after her. She was also studying which makes it hard for me to take her to the UK cos she loves to go to school much and she already has new friends.

Eversince I got preggy, there is no contact or communication between her bio dad and me.

[melovesengland]

You really need to decide who is in charge....you or your child.

I can tell you that my parents took me to Malaya when I was 4 years old. My brother who was five and my sister who was 3 also went. We stayed 3 years and the experience was brilliant and in no way affected our happiness, rather it boosted it. We certainly didn't miss 'back home'.

My (Filipina) ex-wife and I brought her 2 children to the UK from the Philippines when they were 7 years and 9 years old. On the way they spent a few months in Hong Kong.

They have grown up in the UK, have NOT missed their other relations and friends back home and are both at university here now. (We have taken them back for holidays and one extended trip).

Bringing your child here at the age she is will simply enrich her life and give her much better prospects in the future. At the age she is, she's extremely unlikely to be held back educationally.

Really hard cos I also dont want to force her to go with me. In case she will I wnat to go home cos she misses her nans and aunts after 2 days in the UK then I will be in big trouble. I think we really need to study whats best for my daughter.

My mind is about to explode! But I am very thankful for your help guys! It starts to give me rough idea now on what to do.

[joebloggs]

if you write a letter to the embassy and state She will find it really hard as she is very fond of her grandparents and my siblings then this could be used against you when you do apply for a visa for her, as the embassy could state your grandparents have 'sole responsibility' not you and she could be refused a visa.

i dont want to scare you but search on here for 'sole responsibility' and see the problems you could have later.

if you write a letter stating that once your settled in the UK you will be applying for a visa for your daughter and make sure you have evidence you have sole responsibility' you should be ok, but you cant take that for granted as I'm sure the other people on this forum who were granted a visa but their children were refused thought they wouldn't have a problem to.

better to take her, if your leaving her behind get her here asap.

[grahamw48]

I think you are worrying far too much about it.

Surely you don't want to jeopardise the chance of having her live here with her MOTHER do you ?

It is THAT serious.

What happens if you leave her behind and then YOU miss her so much that you are crying every day here...as happened with my ex-wife ?....THEN get turned down for a dependent visa because the UKBA decide that you no longer have sole responsibility for her ?

On the hand, if she does not like it here, at least she can go back to the Phils anytime.

[melovesengland]

if you write a letter to the embassy and state She will find it really hard as she is very fond of her grandparents and my siblings then this could be used against you when you do apply for a visa for her, as the embassy could state your grandparents have 'sole responsibility' not you and she could be refused a visa.

i dont want to scare you but search on here for 'sole responsibility' and see the problems you could have later.

if you write a letter stating that once your settled in the UK you will be applying for a visa for your daughter and make sure you have evidence you have sole responsibility' you should be ok, but you cant take that for granted as I'm sure the other people on this forum who were granted a visa but their children were refused thought they wouldn't have a problem to.

better to take her, if your leaving her behind get her here asap.

Thank you very much for this! I might not sleep tonite I think just to search whats best to do. Your such a big help Sir! Many thanks! Atleast I got hope and 2% chance that writing a good letter will do. Thank you! You made my day so good!

[Moy]

Well, we got options dont we? And I think, words like those aren't new for people nowadays. Sometimes, we need to adapt new things for us to be able to communicate now in our new generation. But, I understand your concern and I respect that.

very true and im sure your a grown up lady like those who are here.. if you know what i mean

[joebloggs]

Thank you very much for this! I might not sleep tonite I think just to search whats best to do. Your such a big help Sir! Many thanks! Atleast I got hope and 2% chance that writing a good letter will do. Thank you! You made my day so good!

better to do some searching on here about 'sole responsibility' now and be prepared than leaving her in the phils and finding out about it later..

if you miss her or she misses you and you apply for a visa and its granted then great, but if your refused then it could be 6 months or more if you need to go to appeal and a lot longer if you lose.

as i've said spend a bit of time researching on 'sole responsibility' so you shouldn't have a problem

[Moy]

I think you are worrying far too much about it.

Surely you don't want to jeopardise the chance of having her live here with her MOTHER do you ?

It is THAT serious.

What happens if you leave her behind and then YOU miss her so much that you are crying every day here...as happened with my ex-wife ?....THEN get turned down for a dependent visa because the UKBA decide that you no longer have sole responsibility for her ?

On the hand, if she does not like it here, at least she can go back to the Phils anytime.

very true and well said Graham why give her a chance(her child) while she can..and when the child grows up at least she know the mother give the effort and tried her best to let her experience the life in other side of the world which again i understand that a child will always be fond of her siblings and grands.(PH), thats..exacty the same that was happen to me when my kids leave my parents/bother/relative in PH to come and live with me now in the UK..AND i see no probs at the monent they were so happy and settled..normal for kids to be a bit upset the first time they left ph and missing those person that they used to hang around ..thats why i dont understand why some people is having a hard time to decide about there children

[joebloggs]

just some posts you should read..

http://filipinaroses.com/showthread....=responsibilty

http://filipinaroses.com/showthread....=responsibilty

http://filipinaroses.com/showthread....=responsibilty

http://filipinaroses.com/showthread....=responsibilty

http://filipinaroses.com/showthread....=responsibilty

[melovesengland]

better to do some searching on here about 'sole responsibility' now and be prepared than leaving her in the phils and finding out about it later..

if you miss her or she misses you and you apply for a visa and its granted then great, but if your refused then it could be 6 months or more if you need to go to appeal and a lot longer if you lose.

as i've said spend a bit of time researching on 'sole responsibility' so you shouldn't have a problem

I will do Sir. You gave me hope that things in my mind might work. I have just read a long thread bout the wife granted and 2 kids refused. I guess, I need to do more! I will surely treat you a pint of beer, lagger or any drink when I get to the UK smoothly! Cheers!

[grahamw48]

very true and well said Graham why give her a chance(her child) while she can..and when the child grows up at least she know the mother give the effort and tried her best to let her experience the life in other side of the world which again i understand that a child will always be fond of her siblings and grands.(PH), thats..exacty the same that was happen to me when my kids leave my parents/bother/relative in PH to come and live with me now in the UK..AND i see no probs at the monent they were so happy and settled..normal for kids to be a bit upset the first time they left ph and missing those person that they used to hang around ..thats why i dont understand why some people is having a hard time to decide about there children

.
Day 1 in the UK for the older two:

.