Pinay girlfriend desperate to get married.....

[Steve.r]

Good to think you are not rushing into this HACHE, pressure is not good. It does sound like you have already made your mind up to me. She must understand that whatever she does, it has to be right, not convienient.

[HACHE]

Good to think you are not rushing into this HACHE, pressure is not good. It does sound like you have already made your mind up to me. She must understand that whatever she does, it has to be right, not convienient.

Well, rightly or wrongly in my life I've always been over cautious, guess thats why I am still single.
She's turning the heat up as I write, with texts....

[Steve.r]

Dont worry about being single I only married my wife last year and I am 45. Plenty of time to find the 'right' one

[South-east boy]

Of course, yes I have my eyes open.
The odd things about all of this, it leads her to get a bit waspy...." if you're not willing to help me then I can't do much"...I decide to ignore a text as nothing I will say will be want she wants....and what she doens't get, is bringing more pressure and having a go wont bring me round by pressure, it just underlines even more in my mind that it maybe not for me...you squeeze a bar of soap too hard, rather than keeping it more, it jumps out more....

She hasn't seemed to have thought things through clearly. Have you explained that it's not possible to do what she wants, because of the reasons Terpe mentioned above even if you did decide you would marry her? I like you wouldn't like to be pressured to marry and would only want to by my own choice, like you say it doesn't feel right when you are not ready.

I don't agree with what London_Manila says. Sure it is true for some, but I know a lot that would love to live back there and my girlfriend is quite happy to stay there for the rest of her life if it came to it and would only come here to be with me. Again, not every Filipina has to or wants to leave just so they can provide for the family, yes a lot do, but not ALL. A lot of them that do leave would prefer to stay, but sometimes have to leave so they can earn more abroad to provide for their family. It's not easy living apart from your close family.

[South-east boy]

Of course, yes I have my eyes open.
The odd things about all of this, it leads her to get a bit waspy...." if you're not willing to help me then I can't do much"...I decide to ignore a text as nothing I will say will be want she wants....and what she doens't get, is bringing more pressure and having a go wont bring me round by pressure, it just underlines even more in my mind that it maybe not for me...you squeeze a bar of soap too hard, rather than keeping it more, it jumps out more....

She hasn't seemed to have thought things through clearly. Have you explained that it's not possible to do what she wants, because of the reasons Terpe mentioned above even if you did decide you would marry her? I like you wouldn't like to be pressured to marry and would only want to by my own choice, like you say it doesn't feel right when you are not ready.

I don't agree with what London_Manila says. Sure it is true for some, but I know a lot that would love to live back there and my girlfriend is quite happy to stay there for the rest of her life if it came to it and would only come here to be with me. Again, not every Filipina has to or wants to leave just so they can provide for the family, yes a lot do, but not ALL. A lot of them that do leave would prefer to stay, but sometimes have to leave so they can earn more abroad to provide for their family. It's not easy living apart from your close family.

[sars_notd_virus]

Of course, yes I have my eyes open.
The odd things about all of this, it leads her to get a bit waspy...." if you're not willing to help me then I can't do much"...I decide to ignore a text as nothing I will say will be want she wants....and what she doens't get, is bringing more pressure and having a go wont bring me round by pressure, it just underlines even more in my mind that it maybe not for me...you squeeze a bar of soap too hard, rather than keeping it more, it jumps out more....

Arguments is not a good start in a relationship ..most probably a sign of things to come
obviously , i dunno the woman but am afraid it sounds like 'bail out time for me...but then I am not always right like my husband

[hawk]

as the saying goes a wife,s for life not just for christmas it takes time to build a relationship and it takes one wrong one to distroy it if i had used my head in stead of my heart love tends to make us make missjugements but thats another path you make in time if your girl is the one rushing into married life will not make a good choice good luck on your choice

[HACHE]

Well, its funny you say that, about her not thinking things through, because of her situation of being married is a big spanner in the works anyway.... I've got another thread on the very subject...
I do think with my head rather than my heart ( though the heart does play a part in making things muddy and hard emotionally), always have done....firstly, the viability( being able to anyway), the time it takes to dispell any doubts we have, and build the relationship., then we plan the the long term if we come through those...
But I just don't feel right when someones trying to push this aside because of their own agenda....

[grahamw48]

10 years ?

The guy is only a learner.

Yes, I can well understand why anyone would want to leave London...and not just the Pinoys.

[London_Manila]

10 years ?

The guy is only a learner.

Yes, I can well understand why anyone would want to leave London...and not just the Pinoys.

10 years in the philippines and over 30 years in south east asia

i have been there seen it and done it

[grahamw48]

10 years in the philippines and over 30 years in south east asia

i have been there seen it and done it

.
...Probably caught it too.

I've been going to Asia since I was 4 years old.
So what.


Best you stick to the sex tourist forums I reckon, where you can chat about Pattaya, Angeles City etc to your hearts content.
My last waste of words on you.

[zaxy]

london_manila may i ask why you join this forum as most the member that joined got a wife who if filo or enganged to one and just want advice about visa or any help at all but all u seem to be doing is telling not date a filopina as she only want a visa to be here.

I think u actually lonly and heart broken as your wife left you and still not got over it maybe you should get some help?

[London_Manila]

london_manila may i ask why you join this forum as most the member that joined got a wife who if filo or enganged to one and just want advice about visa or any help at all but all u seem to be doing is telling not date a filopina as she only want a visa to be here.

I think u actually lonly and heart broken as your wife left you and still not got over it maybe you should get some help?

I spend a lot of time in the philippines and i am intrested in anything to do with the philippines

surely this forum welcomes single guys aswell

heart broken far from it i was divorced over 10 years ago and actually enjoy the freedom i have now

[London_Manila]

.
...Probably caught it too.

I've been going to Asia since I was 4 years old.
So what.


Best you stick to the sex tourist forums I reckon, where you can chat about Pattaya, Angeles City etc to your hearts content.
My last waste of words on you.

Oh dear it looks like you have reverted to making assumptions again !

I dont pay for sex and i have no intrest in places like pattaya or angeles city

[imagine]

10 years in the philippines and over 30 years in south east asia

i have been there seen it and done it

your sums dont add up or you lie about your age

[London_Manila]

Oh really so how old am i then ?

[imagine]

Oh really so how old am i then ?

my mistake i read ur 39 posts thinking it was your age

[HACHE]

Ah well, there are a few posts on this thread...maybe a bit "off-topic" though..

Anyway, update of my situation. Alot of silly arguments...if I don't text her the right thing, if I don't reciprocate the way she expects..all these crazy accusations that I am "pushing her away".....it's times like this I question "is this the way of the future?"....is she gona give me a hard time like this out of absolutely nothing, just barely trivial stuff and its not the first.
I think she's panicking, know she's running out of time, and perhaps frustrated that I am not giving her "direction" in our relationship....What I keep saying, now I am fed of of petty arguments about stupid things she should never be bothered about...and how on earth am I gona make a long term plan based on this rubbish going on??? I think I am treating ( with a hell of alot of patience) this like a relationship here, where I spend time trying to see if there's potential, but this isn't on her priorities, it doesn't matter, she just "needs" to stay....

[London_Manila]

Ah well, there are a few posts on this thread...maybe a bit "off-topic" though..

Anyway, update of my situation. Alot of silly arguments...if I don't text her the right thing, if I don't reciprocate the way she expects..all these crazy accusations that I am "pushing her away".....it's times like this I question "is this the way of the future?"....is she gona give me a hard time like this out of absolutely nothing, just barely trivial stuff and its not the first.
I think she's panicking, know she's running out of time, and perhaps frustrated that I am not giving her "direction" in our relationship....What I keep saying, now I am fed of of petty arguments about stupid things she should never be bothered about...and how on earth am I gona make a long term plan based on this rubbish going on??? I think I am treating ( with a hell of alot of patience) this like a relationship here, where I spend time trying to see if there's potential, but this isn't on her priorities, it doesn't matter, she just "needs" to stay....

She is only playing up now because you are not playing ball with her

What with tougher immigration rules about to kick in for domestic workers in the uk then there will plenty more of this to come.
They cant stay here legally anymore and thats where you come in

She is demanding and hassle now so the last thing you want to do in marry her

Dump her now and let her find another victim

[HACHE]

She is only playing up now because you are not playing ball with her

What with tougher immigration rules about to kick in for domestic workers in the uk then there will plenty more of this to come.
They cant stay here legally anymore and thats where you come in

She is demanding and hassle now so the last thing you want to do in marry her

Dump her now and let her find another victim

It's a fair point. I fell for her, and I guess my patience in the early days just permitted her to become like this, but if its her true colours I am glad I know now....

[malditako]

It's a fair point. I fell for her, and I guess my patience in the early days just permitted her to become like this, but if its her true colours I am glad I know now....

I can imagine how you feel being pressured by your situation where heart and mind dont go same way.

just my thoughts...if i put myself into your shoe and i so sure about the feelings for this girl I would never have a second thought of marrying her especially if that would solve her problem regardless of her intentions. Others may have disagree but thats how love works often than not. If you're 100% in love with this girl you wouldn't be here asking advices as you really know what to do. Petty quarrels and silly arguments are always part of relationship. All couples in love do fights. and still remain together . I am pretty sure you know what your mind and your heart tells you what to do

[HACHE]

I can imagine how you feel being pressured by your situation where heart and mind dont go same way.

just my thoughts...if i put myself into your shoe and i so sure about the feelings for this girl I would never have a second thought of marrying her especially if that would solve her problem regardless of her intentions. Others may have disagree but thats how love works often than not. If you're 100% in love with this girl you wouldn't be here asking advices as you really know what to do. Petty quarrels and silly arguments are always part of relationship. All couples in love do fights. and still remain together . I am pretty sure you know what your mind and your heart tells you what to do

Thanks for the reply.
You're right in saying if I was 100% I wouldn't be seeking advice here. Or anywhere for that matter.
But for me I guess I needed to confirm to myself why i am not 100%....Genuine misgivings that I am not admitting to myself, or is it my temdancy to be overcautious and do the easy thing and just walk when things seem a bit complicated...
Anyway, seems fate is forcing our hands. She's been told that she's only got 2 months to find a college, and a new course would cost £4-6K and only can do one year, during which she'll not be able to legally work unless that course is at a university. She's resigned herself to just going home. I think I have aswell.
Ah well....part of life's complicated tapestry...

[raynaputi]

Hi Hache..well she clearly says the real intent of wanting to marry you..her need to stay here in the UK.. You know what you gotta do..

[HACHE]

Hi Hache..well she clearly says the real intent of wanting to marry you..her need to stay here in the UK.. You know what you gotta do..

And I'm thinking you don't mean I should marry her...
hehe

[grahamw48]

What's the rush...as far as you're concerned anyway ?

[HACHE]

Told her the other week no one ever wants to be pushed or pressured, and I'll only ever do that if it was right me me, not just convenient for her. And these silly petty arguments make me think twice about the long term viability anyway.....

[Dedworth]

Told her the other week no one ever wants to be pushed or pressured, and I'll only ever do that if it was right me me, not just convenient for her. And these silly petty arguments make me think twice about the long term viability anyway.....

She needs to shape up or ship out

[RickyR]

Everytime I see a post by LondonManila, it reminds me of these fat sweaty balding bitter men that you find in the skanky expat bars in the Philippines. You come across the same comments day in day out, by these guys sat at the bar staring down the end of the beer bottle and hanging out with bar girls and young girls and they think that these girls represent the country. The good ones wouldn't come near people like him.
A reason why I very rarely stepped in an expat bar whilst living in the Philippines.
There is another forum called LINC where you'll find some like minded people.

[Dedworth]

Everytime I see a post by LondonManila, it reminds me of these fat sweaty balding bitter men that you find in the skanky expat bars in the Philippines. You come across the same comments day in day out, by these guys sat at the bar staring down the end of the beer bottle and hanging out with bar girls and young girls and they think that these girls represent the country. The good ones wouldn't come near people like him.
A reason why I very rarely stepped in an expat bar whilst living in the Philippines.
There is another forum called LINC where you'll find some like minded people.

Well said Ricky

[grahamw48]

Totally agree.

Those dens of iniquity should be restricted to the young slim handsome and cheerful types.