Does Love hurt?

[iamiyah]

Once i thought i can do everything and anything if i put my mind into it, then i fell in love, hard…

I loved this person so much that i even forgot myself, i never knew it was possible to love someone as much as this until it happened to me, i was so in love with him that all i thought was how to make him happy, like what he likes, what he doesnt like all it was planted in my mind.

My world revolves around this person, that every single morning I woke up and sleep he is the only one in my mind, that every thoughts that i think of was just for him.

When we met each other atlast, it was a bit chaotic in these country and i remembered how scared I am not for me, but for his own safety, i swear i could take a bullet for him.. Crazy right?but thats how much I loved him

However, for the longest time what we had is a long distance relationship, London - Cairo, it took a lot of efforts, patience and understanding to built the relationship that he threw Effortlessly. I thought he well be strong enough to wait for me, to be together soon, I support him in everything, even he broke my heart several times but still I forgive him.

Space and time is what he asked from me, and i heartedly gave it to him, little did I know that time and space is the moment he used to met the new girl that stole his heart from me.

"We need to move on" thats the last message he sent to me. Painful. But I dont want to be selfish, I realized when you love someone you will let them be happy even if not with you.

I thought i was okay now, i thought i could be okay, until i cant do anything when I saw a picture of them together, i felt the same excrutiating pain in my heart. He was happy with her. With her,he do not need to hide their relationship with her family and friends. With her, I can sense how happy you will be because she is at your side. You with her, I can feel how a fool I was to dream that we will last.

He already moved on, and yet here I am stucked on our past. Why? Where did I go wrong?


I dont know.I need to move on. I was all aware of it, but i cant do anything, i know what is the right thing to do, but it doesnt work out for me, God I need to live, i need myself back, please help me..

.

Can someone please give me an advice, I know I am young however I didnt expect that break up is these devastating. How to heal a broken heart??

[lastlid]

[lastlid]

It will heal in time. It just takes a little time.

[myliitlehaven07]

so sorry to hear what you feel iamiyah, the reason why it hurt you so much and it is not helping you move on is BECAUSE YOU LEFT NOTHING FOR YOURSELF i cannot blame you because women falls in love with their heart on top first before their head. You have this feeling that YOU WISH you never gave it all and you may even feel stupid for doing so. This is just a lesson for you to learn that next time you fall in love, you will spare yourself love and respect bec men should see that in you bec if you have that in yourself, YOU show confidence and your strong and that the man you will love will never feel CLOSED in a relationship.... ANYTHING THAT IS TOO MUCH CAN ALSO CAUSE DAMAGE :(( if you want to move on, forgive yourself, him, then stop at least trying to look back on the relationship or the could have been.

[melovesengland]

I am very sad to hear about your story. All i can say is start moving on. I know its hard on your part to start but you got no choice left darling. Fix yourself and get that cutie chin up. Believe me, crying wont do you good although its one of the ways that you can let the pain out of your heart.

I know (for sure) that someday you will meet a man that is more deserving of your love and care. Just wait and it will come. Tested and Proven by me.

[mickcant]

Hi iamiyah
At least you found out he did not return your love before you married him.
That has saved you a lot more heartache that would have followed.

Take care,
Mick.

[iamiyah]

Thanks for the reply and concern, i been grateful to be in this site as it the posts that I am reading helps me to somehow ease the pains i am feeling now. As the only regret I have is because of the distance, we didnt work out.

I hope I will be able to pick up the pieces again. I hope to find someone who can help me move on.. I really miss myself

[raynaputi]

I hope to find someone who can help me move on..

Don't seek for someone who can help you move on..Seek for yourself..the YOU before that guy came..If you learn to be independent and not clinging for someone to give you some love, then you've known you already moved on and ready to meet the right guy for you. It's not healthy to move on just because someone new comes..It will be the same if in case that someone new leaves you too..So the best thing to do is pick up the broken pieces of your heart/self without looking for a new guy just yet..Be with your friends all the time you have a chance to..Go on a holiday in the Philippines with your family..These would help you move on without needing a man to fill up the spaces. I've been there and done that..I know it's really hard but you've got yourself to owe it to.

[grahamw48]

If he wants to be with you he will chase YOU.

I can fully sympathise with you though, because from 16 years of age I chased women I couldn't have for YEARS on end...romantic unrealistic fool that I was.That's mainly why I didn't marry until 41 years of age. What a waste of life and emotion !

I urge you not to get into the same habit.

Get out and circulate. Give OTHER people a chance, and don't become trapped in a romantic fantasy world.

Yes, some of us almost thrive on it, but really it is a self-destructive state of mind.

(Only wish could practice what I preach ).

edit to add:

I was tempted to put some soppy romantic song on for you, but that is NOT what is needed. REALITY is.

[Lhailhani]

AGREE with you Grahamw48 ... Move on dear and LOVE YOURSELF more than OTHERS.. that's when u can find great love.. enjoy life... i can relate..

[iamiyah]

Thank You Graham,

To be honest with you, I am looking forward for your advice regarding my post. I guess everytime you said something to me, i realized alot of things ti be think about it.

But Graham its too painful, i guess its because this was the first time I hada broken heart, yeah ihad been to other relationship but this one is special and took time to built with.

I am lost now :( I really wanted to move on but tell me how can I do that if my heart is still bleeding into pieces?

I want my old self to be back but its too hard.. I dont know how much time I needed but I dont want this pain anymore..

[grahamw48]

Good advice from Rayna.

Love and respect yourself first.

That is the armour that protects your heart.

[iamiyah]

Thank you Raynaputi for teh advice. I guess what makes it really hard for me that it also break me into piecs is I dont have anyone to talk to. I am now here in Egypt based in a hotel and away from my family and friends. Livin alone makes things more difficult for me which drown me into depression. I am only the Filipina nationality here so I have to dealt all these by myself.

I am a strong person but that was before but now i almost cant get up to these pain. :( I dunno i cant explain te dilemma i am goin thru wit. Thats why being in this site is what I have now to have someone to talk to and to release the pain I am having now inside.

I need friends, even someone to talk to. I really wanted to go on now as it affects my job and health, I dont want these pain anymore!!

But I cant go on..........Sorry everyone for moaning

[grahamw48]

It's good that you are able (and brave enough) to share your feelings with others, and no need at all to apologise.

It must be very lonely for you being in that situation, but there are lots of people on the forum I'm sure who would be happy to chat with you.

You can also private message other members.

I think you must realise that being alone as you are is probably contributing a lot to your emotional pain as regards your previous partner.

At the moment a distraction is what you need...ANY distraction !

Just keep writing here, make a few more friends, and see if we can help cheer you up.

[iamiyah]

Thank you so much Graham, believe it or not but reading your messagebrought tears to my eyes. Somehow i felt that there are still people who cares for me despite the distance.

I am in restriction to send message here. I guess. Like I said, this forum is my only confidante now and the people wo are reading and replying.

It was really devastating but I have no choice but to be strong right? no matter how hard it is looking back on our relationship. Quoted from a song "This loneliness is killing me"

Maybe if I were in the Phil it will be much easier to heal, but bein here brings more burden as there were no socialization much in here and no one to talk to with.

Thanks again for the support I know i souned like a grieving and pessimistic person, but I chose to feel the pain until in God's time, it will not hurt anymore

[John_10]

Hi iamiyah...That guy he is not worthy....Just move on, you are too young. You can find a guy better than him in the fututre
Don't make your life misserable for a non worthy guy

[lastlid]

The best antidote I know is the next love in your life. You will get over this guy. But it wont be a matter of days, I suspect, more a matter of weeks.

[iamiyah]

Thanks Everyone for the support. Its uplifting, I usually look foward for people to give me advice in ere as it lightend the burdens

Its been a month now, more or less but everytime I thought I am okay, I woke up during the night or early morning having the pain on my heart, I guess seeing him happy already with someone much brought deeper pin on me :(

I guess I am really unlucky on love.. But I am not stopping my hope that hopefully like everyone inhere, I might find a man who will really love me depspite the odds..

[Dedworth]

“At sometime in our lives a devil dwells within us, causes heartbreaks, confusion and troubles, then dies.” - Theodore Roosevelt

[imagine]

Hi iamiyah, sorry to hear what you are going through, i have myself been through something quite similar to yourself, i got lots of advice and support from all friends here on this forum,
i know your pain, i know the hurt, sleepless nights with feelings of anxiety and adrenalin, its on your mind all day and is always worse when you need to sleep because theres nothing at that time to occupy your mind, for me its a few months ago now, i accepted the situation and now she is less in my mind as time has passed, the pain is gone but thoughts still in my head, questions why she lied never answered,
but what i want to tell you is that you accept it, you are important, why should you suffer when he is happy, as the weeks pass the pain will begin to be less for you, and you are young enough with time on your side, you will find happiness and meet the one who is meant for you,
which he clearly wasnt,

[Rosie1958]

I am sorry to hear that you are feeling so upset Iamiyah. From what you have said, it appears that you were infatuated with this man and it was probably too much for him.

Heartbreak is a very hard emotion to cope with and one that a good number of us will experience during our lifetime. A broken relationship is like a bereavement and once you are able to accept that it is over, you will hopefully be able to move on in your life.

From what you say, it’s not just the break up that’s causing you great upset but also being away from your support network of friends and family at a time when you need them. I am sure that you must come into contact with other women at work who would be able to empathise with what you are going through. Why not try making a few new female friends in person in Cairo, surely it doesn’t matter if they are not Filipina.

In the meantime, give yourself a BIG hug and try not to dwell on the past, it’s now time to move on.......

Good luck
Rosie

[jayzel]

hello iamiyah,sad to read your story,broken hearts are hard to mend and the old saying is the true saying time is a great healer,but its knowing what to do during the time of pain thats important,try to keep yourself occupied,keep your mind busy to all the things you havent had time for before,its so easy to get low and lose your desire to eat or sleep,its important that you eat and keep your body nourished a hungry body makes for a weak mind,nothing anyone can say to you will ease your pains at the moment,i been there myself such an awful place to be,keep your chin up and be positive, things happen for a reason takecare ,,, jay ....

[iamiyah]

Thanks evryone for the concern and advice you had given me. Its still painful, and becoming much more painful as time passes by but I am trying to be strong and pick up the pieces back again.

I just hope soon I will recover from this heartache

[imagine]

Thanks evryone for the concern and advice you had given me. Its still painful, and becoming much more painful as time passes by :bigcry

[COLOR="rgb(0, 0, 0)"] if you keep dweling on whats happened your pain cant go [/COLOR]


but I am trying to be strong and pick up the pieces back again.

"blue"]you must accept it and let go before your pain can begin to ease

I just hope soon I will recover from this heartache

try to feel a little hate for him for doing this to you, it helps

[Marie]

iayamiyah....sorry about you are going through...you're still young it will not be the last that you will encounter...my advise for you is try to leave 25% of love with yourself...for that ...whatever happened it's not that painful for you....for now you need to think of whatever bad things or words that he gave you....this will help...soon you will be happy again....and don't forget to ask Lord for his Blessings and guidance...take care

[Iani]

Hi, I'm really sorry to hear your story. He frankly didn't deserve someone as loving as you, and there is karma you know - what goes around will come around.

Only one person though can get over it, and that is you. I really hope you can put away this atrocious man, think about yourself and move on. In time, you will wonder what you saw in this liar

Sending hugs

[iamiyah]

Thanks everyone for the advice, it has been quite long time since I been to these post. Reading the post brought back memories how devasted am I that time

I just realize that Yes, we all deserve to experience to live in our own fairytales. But just like Cinderella, going through heartaches, oppression and confusion are inevitable elements of living because that’s the very essence of it. The most important thing is to have that strong, unshakeable spirit within you that will help keep you going whatever it takes no matter how painful things has been and how your heart has been shattered.

So if you will ask me if I have already found my happy ending, my answer is, “I’m making it come true.” =)

Godbless everyone.

I dunno if these will be allowed, ( Mr. Joe and Mr. Arthur) however for the friends I made here esp those my Filipina kababayan, this is my new email address where you can contact me now.

gizmo_rhea3088ATyahooDOTcom as I requested to remove my previous email ad due to personal purpose. Thank you

[LaryRowman]

Love - it's very painful. Especially when she fell in love with another. Just want to scream!

[grahamw48]

Welcome to the forum.

Yes, been there.

[Clara]

Hello iamiya,

I'm glad to hear that you got over your pain.