Hello

I think I just need somewhere to sound off perhaps. I'm not looking for, or expect sympathy - I am not that sort of guy and don't like fuss.

Thing is, we all have a breaking point, and I'm pretty near mine.

Here's the "problem" -

I was in a pretty loveless marriage for 15 years, finally we decided something had to give about 2 years ago. We have amazingly remained friends and get on better now than when we lived together.

One reason I didn't do something earlier, was because we have a daughter together now aged 14, but she's pragmatic, has friends with the same situation, and really seems unfazed by the whole thing. They aren't stupid and she could probably see for years something wasn't right. Anyway we all get on.

Fast forward a few months, and through a friend of a friend, I was introduced to a lady on facebook - pinoy working in the middle east (you can probably see where this is heading )
The idea was - why don't you talk to K, she has also had a rubbish ex relationship.
Well we found we really got on, and......well as I said, you can guess the rest.

I've been to stay with her over there 3 times now, and we've got engaged.

So it comes down to this - I am basically really worrying badly about this government change to income thing.

There is little chance I can see that at the moment, I could change my work to earn over the £26,000 or whatever - not in this town!

And yes, it's a proposal, it might not be implemented to this, it might be kicked into the long grass for months, it might have to go through parliament - in which case it would be next year at least before it could happen - but we just don't know.

She has this dream of getting married in Phils in October, where her family is, all her brothers could fly back there for this, and her father is a bit unwell - she hasn't said this directly, but I am not stupid, you know how women are - she wants her dad to see her get married, not in some country none of her relatives have a hope of getting a visitor visa for!

So I have been looking into all the possibilities, even applying for a fiance visa - maybe beating any ruling - then deciding to marry either in uk or over there (hence another thread I posted). This isn't really an ideal though - and my final divorce decree won't be ready until I think July.

So that's the background, now the whole point to the thread.

I never thought I would meet someone I felt so strongly about.
What I can't do is cause her hurt by never being able to be together.

I have seen that the visa refusals have note to the section 8 thing, but citing that there's nothing to stop you from going to Phils to live. Well yes there is you idiots, we can't work over there - and besides, I have a daughter to think of.

Result is, all this worry, I can't sleep and feel physically sick now nearly all the time.
A month ago, I had a real down period, I didn't tell anyone, didn't post on here or on my facebook, because, well. Maybe fortunately I had a different friend who came round and told me if anything ever happened, then my daughter would be devastated.

I am now seriously thinking of just cutting the pain as soon as possible, and just finishing with my fiance.

This despite both friends and a local libdem councillor who I'm friendly with, telling me not to change my whole life and destroy her life just because of the blasted tories.

Sorry to be going on, I've never felt this down and sick. No answer really is there huh.

Now I sound a right plank huh