I'm sorry for my english coz honestly I'm not really good at it.
By the way I'm Ms. M.my intials are MFBT I have super long name yeah? and new here..well I decided to join coz recently I've been reading some of the threads here especially those which are about love and relationships between british men and Filipinas..So there! I will be posting another topic about my concern (I mean my personal dilemma's in life
) hope to get many advices from all of you..thank you!
I'm actually new here and decided to join because I really want to hear advices about what I am going through right now..
Well, I met this guy online I think it's been two weeks that we are exchanging messages through email. He was the one who approached me first at another social networking site, he said that he is searching for a his life partner (wife) who is loyal, good, etc. etc. and a friend of him advices him to look and try online coz it worked for him( to his friend) so when he saw my picture he said that he likes me and wants to know more about me..
to make the story short, we end up exchanging messages, coz I think he is really busy to chat so what we usually do is to send messages to each other everyday and since we started our friendship he already me three times..He is telling me he is really planing to see me in person and her mom can't wait or him to get marry, those words get me too excited coz I like to him so much! and it's my first time ever having intimate relationship with a foreigner and just through online.
This is my question:
He is already telling me that he loves me even though we get to know eac h other for two weeks only! but as of for me, I really like him and I thik I'm starting to fall for him too. but I am just confused and afraid that I might end up broken hearted..and aside from that I dont know the real score between the two of us, It's really complicated but I can feel the sincerity of what is telling me..Is that really possible for him to love me in just a short span of time we've known each other?though I feel the same way but I just could't help but think as I dont want to end up broken..
Sorry for the long post, I really want to hear some advices about this..thank you
Welcome Simple,
My advice is 'go slow' He says 2 weeks and he is in love already..... sorry alarm bells ringing already!!
Go careful, take your time.
If you want your dreams to come true ...... first you have to wake up
Hi
In that short time he likes you, but cannot be "in love" in the true sence until you have at least met and spent time together.
He is more "in lust" take things easy and do not get too carried away and see how you feel when you do meet
All the best,
Mick.
Hello ImaSimpleGirl
Welcome to the forum.
Mick.
hi and welcome it takes time to build a relationship its was months before i met my girl now my wife after i first meet her i told her this is a relationship i wanted and was not after sex she was ok about this on been honest you should work on the same dont rush into having sex give your time to geather to build a strong bond as with me it was a year till i meet my wife after the first meet and now married time will tell if this person is realy wanting a relationship or just sex if you give into having sex then her dosent want you then you end up hurting but if he respect you then he will wait till you both know each other better i wish you all the best and that it works out for you
Hi there Mrs M, welcome aboard
Looking forward to you postings
Hope u enjoy this forum, u will get lots of advice from some very knowledgeable members who will make u welcome.
Have u actually seen him on cam ?
"Scam" is ringing in my ears..... but lets hope I'm mistaken.
(if u get a parcel/present from him, and "customs" contact you asking for a clearance fee, then you'll know for certain !)
No man is an island, but Barry is
Originally Posted by ImaSimpleGirl
Firstly, there is no need to apologise
... I've just been perusing both of your threads, and - if I may say so - your command of English is beyond reproach. Indeed, your spelling is excellent ... and I mean that sincerely!
It seems to me, that what you need most right now, is self-confidence ... a characteristic that can be cultivated to grow and develop naturally over time.We're here to help and guide you towards achieving this goal - as you've seen from the very sensible responses already posted.
... secondly, I have taken the decision to merge and relocate your two threads under 'Courting & Relationships' so that the replies you receive are kept in one place for easy reference.
Meanwhile ... a warmto our friendly, online filipino community.
Hi ImaSimpleGirl
Like others replying here I would tread very very carefully here. I cannot believe anyone can fall in love so quickly when they are so far apart and only communicate electronically. I think there are a lot of people out there who see Filipinos as an "easy target" because you are, in general all very nice, friendly and sincere human beings. I have personally witnessed some very sad stories of men who acquire Filipino "Trophy Wives" and I would not want that to happen to you.
On my first stay with my soon to be wife who is from Cebu we both agreed on separate rooms so we could have the opportunity to get to know each other without distractions and it was very very successful (by the way we stuck to our guns and had separate rooms throughout our first stay together).
I wish you luck but please please be very very careful and try not to get your hopes built up too much. Trust me - there are a lot of good guys out there and unfortunately a lot of insincere ones too.
Dave
hello ImaSimpleGirl welcome to the forum,
as others say take time, be careful , it is time that will show you if he is genuine or a scammer,
even if he is genuine you owe each other time to know each other, good luck, anything occurs that seems suspiciouse, like asking for money ect, ask here for advice
Mrs M,
You already received plenty of good advice. I hope you will take notice and just slow down.
I'm not actually the best person to give out relationship advice for all sorts of reasons.
Contrary to what most people will tell you, I DO believe in "love at first sight" as that is essentially what happened to me. But I never disclosed my true feelings for quite some time, until I had rationalised them internally myself.
'Love at first sight' is quite far away from 'love at first chat' in my opinion.
So I say take the advice given, slow down don't allow yourself to be taken in by words alone in just 2 weeks. The more and the longer you communicate the less likely it is to be untrue.
It takes time.
Good luck
its good to talk, so keep talking for a little longer, maybe in a few months you may know each other better, its strange that its the male is saying i love you after 2 weeks, just be careful,
Hi Miss M and welcome to our forum
Yeah..I'm going crazy right nowam I such a fool to believe in all his telling me :(
Helo and thank you for the advice..well, honestly I am really aware about scamers and all about that so what I did when he first approached me I did searched online for his other possible accounts trying to find other info's about him but I end up nothing..I didn't get any answer and that's when I thought that maybe he's telling me the truth..and aside from that, He never talked about sex or anything malicious..so what is that?what does that mean?thanks for your advicesHi
In that short time he likes you, but cannot be "in love" in the true sence until you have at least met and spent time together.
He is more "in lust" take things easy and do not get too carried away and see how you feel when you do meet
All the best,
Mick.
that is what I am also thinking about, I have read that british men are not that open on talking or expressing on how they are feeling so I was really amazed that he did tell me that he loves me though he only knew me for 2 weeks. arrghhh
He told me that he is already planning to meet me atleast for the first time but he is always saying that in God's grace all those things will take in place..I'm not asking for anything I just want ti be sure if he really do love me..
Yesterday I ask him coz it really bothers me a lot that I am actually telling him that I love him and he is also telling me that he loves me so much but we actually dont have that kind of closure about our relationship status, we are not talking about on what we are right now so I was really confused and he told me to take his word and trust him and give him a chance to prove to me that he is serious about me..Is that enough for me to have this peace of mind?? oh my God I want to cry :(
Thank you Dave
I am aware about and so far, all he is telling me as of the moment is that he loves me and he is really thankful that he met me at the right time, like what I have said he is searching for his life partner and tried to look online to find out if he'll be lucky enough to find one so here I am falling for him now.. I dont know what to do, just the thought of him being fake my heart will be broken in pieces
Helo..and thank you for your response.
well as of now we were just exchanging messages through email, I saw his picture coz he sent to me one and he also ask for my picture too and told me that he will show that to his mum but until now we dont got the chance to chat coz I think he is busy at work..I am getting one mail from him everyday and he already called to me three times. He never ask for anything our topic were all about getting to know each other, etc. etc. I hope and pray that he is not a scammer or anything :(
helo hawk..hi and welcome it takes time to build a relationship its was months before i met my girl now my wife after i first meet her i told her this is a relationship i wanted and was not after sex she was ok about this on been honest you should work on the same dont rush into having sex give your time to geather to build a strong bond as with me it was a year till i meet my wife after the first meet and now married time will tell if this person is realy wanting a relationship or just sex if you give into having sex then her dosent want you then you end up hurting but if he respect you then he will wait till you both know each other better i wish you all the best and that it works out for you
as of now, he never open up about sex or anything malicious and I by the way he is telling me, it seems that he's a true gentleman, there's no sign of him being horny or something like that.
Maybe he is true to you, how old is he? why does he need approval from his mother
Like people have said, maybe he is not experienced with ladies, or he is just in 'lust' right now. Why have you not seen him on webcam yet? you can tell far more when talking face to face.
Just take care, and go slow, make no promises
If you want your dreams to come true ...... first you have to wake up
Hi steve thanks or your comment.Maybe he is true to you, how old is he? why does he need approval from his mother
Like people have said, maybe he is not experienced with ladies, or he is just in 'lust' right now. Why have you not seen him on webcam yet? you can tell far more when talking face to face.
Just take care, and go slow, make no promises
well, according to him he is now 42 yrs old and working as a Marine Engineer. His mom came from ASIA too (singapore) and that's one o the reason why he wants to get marry to an asian instead of english ladies..he said his mom wants him to get marry soon maybe because of his age..
It's not that I dont believe in what he is telling me, I can feel that he is sincere but I just want to be sure.. Is that really possible for him to love me even though he haven't seen me in flesh??hay..I am always asking that to myself
He said he had several relationship with english ladies but ending up broken with them and he has never been married..I just ask him to chat face face with me..I dont know what is going to be his response.
Glad to help ImaSimpleGirl
The more I read on this thread the more concerned I become. I am really sorry but I find the whole story very suspicious. I dont necessarily think he is a scammer but I do get the impression that he is desperate to get married and is also being pressured by his mother. Is that really what you want?
I am 57 and Lolita arrives here from Cebu on July 1st. She is 48 so we are both mature people and we have lots of experience between us. I am sure she would say the same to you as one of her friends recently got married to a guy from the UK and within days the marriage was in difficulty. She is 26 and he is late 40's early 50's.
You are getting fantastic advice from others on here so dont be afraid to just keep asking. We are all here to help.
I hope this helps and I hope you dont get too disheartened by it all. By the way have you seen each other on cam yet - that is always a great way of getting a feel for each other.
Good luck and keep in touch. DAVE and LOLITA
The more I read on this thread the more concerned I become. I am really sorry but I find the whole story very suspicious.
Ditto
No man is an island, but Barry is
Give him ultimatum....tell him to visit and meet you in the Philippines...you cant say ''I LOve You'' to someone you dont know??? you dont even know how he looks ,how he speaks , how he walks, ...strange eh!!
anyway, welcome to the forum ImaSimplegirl!!
''Don't be serious..Be Sincere''
hi simplegirl,
welcome and have a great time here in the forum!
I think the best thing to do with your dillema, just like what most people here are saying is to slow down and be patient. Dont be too carried away with all the fruitful things his telling you. if everything he says is true then why not encourage him to chat with u online (skype) yes he maybe be busy at work but surely he'll have atleast an hour or two to chat with u, although ofcourse you both have to sacrifice because of the time difference specially you simplegirl. To be honest regularly chatting online is the best thing to do to know each other well. take it from the experiences of the people here, if you want to be sure of the man you're speaking to then take your time and be patient, the longer you know and chat with the person the more you know his intentions are real.
Hi Dave,
I also dont like the idea of him getting marry to me just because his mum want him to.. and I haven't seen him ever since we started to chat..we only share messages through email. By the way, I just ask him to chat with webcam with me and if he refuses then maybe he is a real fake
Helo Careedee,hi simplegirl,
welcome and have a great time here in the forum!
I think the best thing to do with your dillema, just like what most people here are saying is to slow down and be patient. Dont be too carried away with all the fruitful things his telling you. if everything he says is true then why not encourage him to chat with u online (skype) yes he maybe be busy at work but surely he'll have atleast an hour or two to chat with u, although ofcourse you both have to sacrifice because of the time difference specially you simplegirl. To be honest regularly chatting online is the best thing to do to know each other well. take it from the experiences of the people here, if you want to be sure of the man you're speaking to then take your time and be patient, the longer you know and chat with the person the more you know his intentions are real.
Thanks for your comment..I just ask him to chat with me..and now, by reading all of your comments and opinions about this, I am starting to think to slow down and just go with the flow, if ever he refuses to chat with me then maybe he's a real fake (and that will make me cry!
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