Arthur Little 
... aka, 'Away to buggery'!
Here are the "bare bones" (s'cuse pun) of an article I read in two separate newspapers while queueing at a local barber's shop yesterday afternoon:
Seemingly,a man called at the home of his estranged wife ... in the hope of effecting some sort of reconciliation.
When repeated attemptsto engage in "amorous seduction"
failed, he then stomped off upstairs, to - by all accounts - "lick
his wounds".
Whereupon, what happened NEXT, left the poor woman speechlesswith shock!
Hearing what can beast be described as "unusual sounds" emanating from the bedroom above, she proceeded to investigate ...
...... there, before her very eyes,
was the naked form of her errant husband - tucked up in bed with the family pet, a bull-mastiff - his ass going like a fiddler's elbow!
Originally Posted by Arthur Little
- as these sounds (indeed more or less ANY sounds!!) would've fallen on [almost] *deaf ears. 
... NOT another "tale" involving a "shaggy dog"! 
