If you were dictator.........what laws would you pass/what would you change

[Iani]

So, tomorrow there is a coup, Cameron goes into hiding, Theresa May flees the country and becomes a maid in Kuwait etc, and you are El Presidente

You sit in number 10, think the place needs more bling, plan on touring the national banana plantations............but then, what would you do to make it a better UK?

Oh, this is me by the way




I think there will have to be changes

So my manifesto (Except it isn't a manifesto, the public WILL like it, or there will be "consequences" )

Running water is boring - the water supply will be replaced with beer.

Sunday is a boring day, the shops don't open and everyone seems miserable having to spend time with the relatives, so the weekend will instead be Friday and Saturday, and Sunday will be back to work.

Anyone turning up on these shores without identification papers, will be presumed to be French, and immediately returned to France.
(Romania is also part of France dontya know)

Anyone any other great ideas?

[CBM]

I will combine aspects of both economies.

A chilled bottle of San Mig Light will be 40p; health and education will be free. Jeepneys will provide public transport, at 6p a ride, and they will be colour coded like in Olongapo, but they will be powered by electricity, not diesel.

We will close down our miserable supermarkets and have megamalls, wet markets and sari sari stores instead.

[andy222]

Get some shower blocks built for all the illegals for a start. (obviously not water coming out of the shower head).

[grahamw48]

I would ban women from driving.

I would round up and chuck out all the illegals and asylum-seekers...plus anyone else who demonstrates an unwillingness to adopt the 'traditional' British culture, sense of humour and way of life.

I would ban all forms of religion.

I would instruct all Magistrates and judges to impose maximum fines/punishments for all crimes committed.

I would return prisoners to basic bread and water type diet in a bare cell, with 8 hours rock-breaking each day.

All drug addicts and alcoholics would be forced to go cold-turkey.

All drug-dealers/smugglers would be flogged for first offence and their assets confiscated, given 10 years hard labour for any repeat offence.

All (proven) sex offenders would be castrated.

All (proven) murderers would be executed.

Well, that's a start.

[WhiteBloodAda]

I would ban women from driving.

I would round up and chuck out all the illegals and asylum-seekers...plus anyone else who demonstrates an unwillingness to adopt the 'traditional' British culture, sense of humour and way of life.

I would ban all forms of religion.

I would instruct all Magistrates and judges to impose maximum fines/punishments for all crimes committed.

I would return prisoners to basic bread and water type diet in a bare cell, with 8 hours rock-breaking each day.

All drug addicts and alcoholics would be forced to go cold-turkey.

All drug-dealers/smugglers would be flogged for first offence and their assets confiscated, given 10 years hard labour for any repeat offence.

All (proven) sex offenders would be castrated.

All (proven) murderers would be executed.

Well, that's a start.

I look forward to seeing your name next election :P

[grahamw48]

Be afraid. Be VERY afraid .

[mickcant]

Well I would start by locking the door while Cameron was out

The rest will need some thinking about except allow us to bring our partners from non EEC countries to the UK without cost for married couples and their familys.
Mick

[grahamw48]

Several partners would be nice.

[RickyR]

Well, since my boss is a dictator, and in fact the longest surviving and most successful dictator, I do actually believe that in some cultures a dictatorship works better then a democracy.
The country I live in has flourished under the rule of one man, the quality of life and freedom of the citizens has increased.
The citys are beautiful, with wonderful gardens.

I take my kids to one of the wonderful parks which are open until midnight. I feel 100% safe, and wander around with other families in the well tendered gardens and amazingly equipped parks until midnight. I don't have yobs screaming and throwing lager cans around, nor do I have to fear that my child will find a needle underneath the swings. The other children are polite and invite my children of a different culture to play.

Alcohol is available, you can get a license will allows you to spend upto 5% of your salary in discrete off licenses, but you can only drink this in the privicy of your own home. Its fine to drink, just don't disturb anyone with your alcoholic ways. You can also drink in the hotels and special bars, and there are a few restaurants which serve alcohol, but again you must behave as the secret police are watching. Big brothers its not, these secret police aren't ready to arrest you, but if they see you getting a little rowdy they'll take you home. Everyone wants a peaceful life, and having a drink doesn't give you to disturb that.
It's actually quite nice to goto a restaurant and not have to sit next to the loud table of swearing yuppies slowly drinking the bar dry whilst you try enjoy your family meal.

I leave my car unlocked with the keys in the ignition so that the air con continues running when I pop into a shop, nobody steals the car.

The unemployment is low, and the locals are encouraged and given preference to take jobs in every level from sweeping the street, working in McDonalds to Management. Sometimes it takes two or three locals to do the job of an expat due to the experience and culture, but this doesn't matter because those people are employed and not wandering the streets jobless causing trouble.

I know I paint a rosy picture, and some countries in the Middle East aren't so pleasant, but I genuinely feel safer and more comfortable in Oman then I ever did in England. Despite being in a dictatorship, I actually feel that I have more freedoms. Freedoms in that I don't fear going out with my children late at night, or fear leaving my car unlocked, or my mobile phone on the restaurant table when I goto the toilet. In fact these are some the values that England once had, but seems to have lost. I don't see big brother cameras all around me, but I do find friendly police who greet me a good day.

My sister was in the park a few days ago in South Yorkshire (which I do admit is one of the poorest parts of the UK), and witnessed three seperate and individual drunks stumble past at 10am, these aren't people who'd enjoyed a few beers, these are people that have nothing else to do with their day. She then found some used needles in the undergrowth. Then that evening, a random drunk lady wandered into the house and started shouting abuse at my sister and her children. The police arrived and eventually determined that the lady lived on the next street and had just been released from a pyschiatric hospital.

These are the days when I wonder whether it's fair that so few can argue their freedoms to the detriment of so many. What about the freedom of the average good citizen, that seems to be forgotten in our Human Rights/Freedom for the criminal little island.

RANT OVER

[grahamw48]

Good post Ricky... certainly makes you think.