Originally Posted by
Iani
Well, on age gaps, it's like this..........
"Average" age gaps in say the UK, it's 2-5 years at most. This isn't accident, it's a trend. The reasons are obvious - they aren't just partners, they are best friends, they by being almost the same age will have shared experiences, they will both know who Duran Duran are, will both be able to joke about Chopper bikes etc, will both have maybe been in Malia in 92'.
There is a good chance they met at a really young age in school. Let's be frank, aged 16 or 17, a larger age gap would be plain freaky.
So then, when we are older, if we meet when we are older then there is more chance of that age gap being wider. It's down to ratios, a 2 year age gap aged 15 is huge, in our 30's it's absolutely nothing, a 10 year gap means little in our 30's.
However, get a big age gap, and it can potentially lead to issues later. Say a 40 year, well we all hope we will be healthy pensioners, but unfortunately this doesn't always happen. I have met people in their 80's who have lost some memory, who are incontinent, who need a lot of care. Well what if their age gap is 40 years? He or she would be a young 40 still wanting to go out......................and if their partner is.......sorry....... a slobbering wreck of their former self, how can that be an equal partnership?
Yes I could name a man I know in his 90's mind razor sharp, swims every day........it's the luck of the draw.
I really hope I will never end up like that - don't we all - but there is a chance I might, none of us know. I could not inflict that on my partner.
With my partner, we have a 15 year gap, and when we were first introduced, I didn't realise this, maybe I wouldn't have got to know her if I knew. I am a little sensitive about it.
There is something else though that has to be considered - relevant to the sort of forum this is - and that's for various reasons, many asian ladies don't like partners the same age, and seek ones a bit older.
It's not always the case, but I found this in Thailand, and my partner and her friends have told me it's often the case with Phils ladies, they see an older man as less likely to be foolish, play around, and will look after her.
What it all comes down to is, it is the love between those couples that matters, and the sort of relationship they both want and will make work. They might not want to be talking about the 80's and 90's rave scene.
It's not really anyones business what someone chooses to be their partner. I am sorry but I don't see HUGE age gaps as a good thing, simply because, firstly there will not be that shared experience, but maybe mainly because we all get old one day, and then the relationship isn't going to be an equal partnership anymore. Of course it can work, but it could end up with the younger party resentful and unhappy at their life.
To put another perspective on this, if my 18 year old daughter wanted to shack up with a 35 or 40 year old, then to say I would be angry would be an understatement. I would have some very uncomfortable questions for him!!
If a 40 year old male friend of mine shacked up with an 18 year old, then the drinks would be lined up, we'd be carrying him shoulder high, he would be "da man".......yes guys can be pretty shallow huh.
Sorry if I'm peeing on anyone's bonfire here. I don't EVER look down or judge on any relationship until I know them, and I certainly do not dislike them for it. What is right for me is not right for everyone.
