God visits a man and tells he he must give up smoking, drinking and sex if he wants to get into heaven.
The man says he'll try.
God visits him a week later to see how he's getting on.
"Not bad" says the man. "I've given up smoking and drinking, but when the wife bent over the freezer I just had to have her.
"They don't like that sort of thing in heaven" replies God.
The man says "they're not too happy about it in tescos either".
