Anyone does experience Domestic Abuse? Needed Help please

[lordna]

if i were the one who get abused i think the first thing i would like to do is to go back to phils and get comfort from my family

hmmm...poor advice!....The family might just telll her to patch things up with her husband. Wife beating is not uncommon in the Philippines I am sure. Also she has a much better future for herself and child in this country. I am sure UKBA and good legal representation will sort this out in her favour AND let her continue to stay here. Her husband has broken the law and will be penalised.

[raynaputi]

hmmm...poor advice!....

I don't think that is a poor advice. It's a matter of preference..As malditako had said, if it was her who got abused. I myself would rather go back to the Philippines just in case, like malditako. I am capable enough to raise a kid in the Philippines and I don't really care whether I get a visa to stay here or not. I would rather be with the support and company of my whole family and friends in times of trouble than alone here in this foreign country. Only a family who doesn't care of the welfare of their relative would tell their daughter/sister to stay in a relationship or patch things up with the husband who abuses her. As I have always told my husband, if things don't go well with our marriage. I'll pack my bags and leave this country. Like I did when I was living in Singapore.

[gWaPito]

I don't think that is a poor advice. It's a matter of preference..As malditako had said, if it was her who got abused. I myself would rather go back to the Philippines just in case, like malditako. I am capable enough to raise a kid in the Philippines and I don't really care whether I get a visa to stay here or not. I would rather be with the support and company of my whole family and friends in times of trouble than alone here in this foreign country. Only a family who doesn't care of the welfare of their relative would tell their daughter/sister to stay in a relationship or patch things up with the husband who abuses her. As I have always told my husband, if things didn't go well with our marriage. I'll pack my bags and leave this country. Like I did when I was living in Singapore.

Excellent post Rayna...you saved me the time replying in not so eloquent terms as yourself.

[lordna]

I don't think that is a poor advice. It's a matter of preference..As malditako had said, if it was her who got abused. I myself would rather go back to the Philippines just in case, like malditako. I am capable enough to raise a kid in the Philippines and I don't really care whether I get a visa to stay here or not. I would rather be with the support and company of my whole family and friends in times of trouble than alone here in this foreign country. Only a family who doesn't care of the welfare of their relative would tell their daughter/sister to stay in a relationship or patch things up with the husband who abuses her. As I have always told my husband, if things don't go well with our marriage. I'll pack my bags and leave this country. Like I did when I was living in Singapore.

Hmmm...you have a point...ones first instnict would be to return home to where you have support of family and things are familiar to you. However, i think that would be playing into his hands and precisely what he wants her to do. I think she can get all the help she needs here..and help on the forum to guide her in the right direction.

[malditako]

hmmm...poor advice!....The family might just telll her to patch things up with her husband. Wife beating is not uncommon in the Philippines I am sure. Also she has a much better future for herself and child in this country. I am sure UKBA and good legal representation will sort this out in her favour AND let her continue to stay here. Her husband has broken the law and will be penalised.

any parents who would tell their daughter to patch things up to their abusive husband are ....Uk government may give you all the material things you might need but they cannot fill the feelings of being alone in this country. Pardon me if I may sound offensive but lovely12 worries are more of getting ILR athan whats going on with her marriage, with her and with her baby.

[lordna]

any parents who would tell their daughter to patch things up to their husband are ....Uk government may give you all the material things you might need but they cannot fill the feelings of being alone in this country. Pardon me if I may sound offensive but lovely12 worries are more of getting ILR athan whats going on with her marriage, with her and with her baby.

Maybe she is thinking further ahead. Return to Philippines - what chance of help or income = nil unlike in the UK there is a much better future for both Baby and mother. Child support agency will chase the father for support.

[gWaPito]

Nobody actually knows the real situation here. For all we know the husband in question maybe quite will to support his child in the Philippines.

God forbid but, if anything was to happen bad between my wife and I, I for sure would want her back into the bosom of her family and I'd gladly support them.

Everything does not boil down to money...there have been times in the past where my wife as been so unhappy that she couldn't remember ever being so sad in the Philippines, not even her dark days....come on, too much emphasis on the money equals happiness rubbish.

Btw...thanks for the rep..whoever gave it

[gWaPito]

Just a little footnote...if people are wondering, I didn't cause the unhappiness...it was caused by missing her family and lifelong friends., no computer system can compensate for that..thank heavens we can apply for citizenship this November.

Another thought, its my belief that Filipino are not as nomadic as people think they are...look at us Brits, we dont see family from year to year..does it bother us..I should coco....yes, Filipino all over the globe but for what main reason?....its a terrible shame families who dont what to be torn apart, are. :(