Sad bad news

[patsylou]

some of you may have followed my earlier posts about myself and the Filipino I was in a relationship-the difficulties of it being even more long-distance since I lost my job on the ship we both worked on-him going into shock whenhe found out the wife he was separated from had been cheating right from when he started working on the ship 12 years ago(we have been together for 3 years) and my last post a few days ago asking about problems phoning The PH-well I now know why I was having problems with that-it's because neither him or his phone are in The PH-they are both in Australia where he is starting a new life with his new girl-this I found out from his sister not him.to say I'm in shock is a bit of an understatement

[malchard888]

very sorry to hear your sad news Patsy

[patsylou]

i didnt know there was a new girl-i thought i was his girl

[Terpe]

i didnt know there was a new girl-i thought i was his girl

So sorry to learn this.
It's so easy to say this but try to remain positive.
The new 'girl in his life' will most likely be treated just as badly quite soon.

You have made a fortunate mistake, but it's such a very painful time.

My prayers are with you for some peace soon.
Cry if you want, but try to visualise a better future with true love and happiness which will come.

Sorry Patsylou.

[tiger31]

philippino men ya just cannee trust them best stick with us foreigners

[Rosie1958]

Oh dear, so sorry to learn about this Patsylou, you must feel gutted and betrayed. I hope that you find the strength to move on quickly ........... this guy is clearly not worth the tears and heartache. Wishing you the very best of luck

[patsylou]

No I won't give my heart again and risk going through this again-this is the 3rd time my heart has been broken-I'm 55-it was 18 years before I could trust again which is when I met Joel-i don't want to ever do this again

[Tom]

Hi I am new here and I am sorry I do not know you. Time is good healer, but you must not be defeated by this - there is always a 'soul-mate' out therefore you.

At the end of the day it is his lose, and yes he will treat this other person the same way.

[Lhailhani]

Hi I am new here and I am sorry I do not know you. Time is good healer, but you must not be defeated by this - there is always a 'soul-mate' out therefore you.

At the end of the day it is his lose, and yes he will treat this other person the same way.

so true... better to remain single and hapy than staying with cheaters... Keep it up..stay positive! patsy...

[Rhose]

Sorry to heard that Patsy.. My prayer for you to heal the pain what you have now.

[stevewool]

cannot understand anyone that cheats, then again being married 3 times i must be use to them, but this time i hope it last

[sars_notd_virus]

yeah why do people cheat??..why not just end a relationship then move on ??? then it will be fair for both of them

hope you find a better person patsylou, a good woman deserves a good man

[RickyR]

It's very sad to hear this Patsy, please don't judge men or Filipinos by this unfortunate incident. Your situation is very similar to many that I have seen onboard the cruiseships involving Filipino Seaman.
I hope that you learn to trust again, and find someone that you can be close to.

[Manila_Paul]

philippino men ya just cannee trust them best stick with us foreigners

Sadly, this is not one of the best aspects of Filipino culture generally. And it is by no means limited to the men. Arguably the women on dating sites are the worst, for example. Lying and cheating just isn't considered that big a deal in PH or not compared with how westerners would regard it as a big deal anyway. It is bad enough between clans in the Philippines (it goes as far as murder!) but as an outsider you're seriously vulnerable. Just look at the last president (and she was female!). The rot starts from the top down, sadly. My wife saw a policeman take a bribe from an illegal taxi driver outside the megamall and it was nothing to her. She was laughing at it, in fact. As I say, just not that big a deal. It also said a lot that the policeman took the bribe so blatantly. Just the way life is there.

Don't get me wrong. There are good 'uns but your best bet is to go and live there or find an OFW in HK/Singapore or some godforsaken part of the Middle East where there isn't an eligible/serious man in sight! Because, trust me, having lived in PH for 2 years, plenty of these girls on the dating sites will have a guy on the go in the Philippines already. It doesn't mean they are scammers. They can be serious and they will marry you and be loving and loyal wives once you get them to the UK but for the periods in between, don't assume they're sitting around waiting on you!

[grahamw48]

Very true.

Sad to say, SOME will also cheat after you bring them (and their kids) to the UK.

[bikeinbatangas]

great post manila _paul, you hit the nail on the head. there is a very laid back approach to deception over there. if i tricked someone for 100 pesos i wouldnt be able to sleep with guilt(not that i would do it in the first place).

filipinos i have learnt have got a "live for the moment" mentality, tomorrow they forgot any bad they have done and get on with life, actually it doesnt usually take them until tomorrow to forget.

back to the issue, sorry for your heartbreak patsy, as a victim i know how bad it feels to be fooled by people you trust. it makes you wonder about trusting again and it is not easy, but i knew i wanted to find happiness with a filipina so i picked myself up and began again. don't let other peoples bad behaviour ruin your own chance of happiness.

[CBM]

Yes, excellent post by Manila_Paul.

[gWaPito]

Yes, excellent post by Manila_Paul.

I gotta third that...good stuff Paul..definitely hit the head on the nail

' Why do people cheat' because they ain't got the guts to end the relationship in the first..how these folks sleep at night is beyond me.

[stevewool]

most cheat, because they are bored or they lack confidance in themselves, my ex loved the attension from others, i tried to tell her and when i could them but hey ho, look at me now,

[Terpe]

.......

' Why do people cheat' because they ain't got the guts to end the relationship in the first..how these folks sleep at night is beyond me.

.....most cheat, because they are bored or they lack confidance in themselves, my ex loved the attension from others, i tried to tell her and when i could them but hey ho, look at me now,

Well said to both

I spent a good 25 years pondering this question and never came up with the perfect answer.

However late in life, I consider myself extremely blessed to find someone with the same life philosophy and values as me.
From my experience I can say this, I may not know all the real reasons why people cheat, but I can easily recognise the bodylanguage, the signs and the behaviour that will eventually cause it.

Wish I could put it in words, I'm sure it's marketable
And valuable

[gWaPito]

Well said to both

I spent a good 25 years pondering this question and never came up with the perfect answer.

However late in life, I consider myself extremely blessed to find someone with the same life philosophy and values as me.
From my experience I can say this, I may not know all the real reasons why people cheat, but I can easily recognise the bodylanguage, the signs and the behaviour that will eventually cause it.

Wish I could put it in words, I'm sure it's marketable
And valuable

What I do know is..it takes 2 to make a relationship and 2 to mess one up....no one is blameless....not enough time to expand here