A very late, Freds 2012 joke thread.

[fred]

[fred]

My daughter had some friends over for a sleepover at the weekend.

I heard one of the girls say to her your dads a dirty old man and a disgusting pervert.



Well!!...I nearly fell out of the wardrobe.

- - - Updated - - -

A little old lady entered the sex shop and asked in a quivering voice, "Yy-young man, dd-do y-you sell-dildos h-here?"

The salesman, somewhat taken aback by the little old lady's appearance in his shop, answered

"Uh, yes, ma'am. We do."

The little old lady, holding her quivering hands about 10 inches apart asked, "D-do y-you ha-aave any ab-bb-bout th-this l-long?"

"Well, yes ma'am, we do. We have several that size."

Forming a 5" circle with her fingers, she then asked, "A-are an-nny ofth-them about thi-is b-big ar-round-d?"

"Well... Yes, a few of them are about that big."

"D-do aa-ny of th-them ha-ave a vv-ii-bra-a-ator?"

"Yes, Ma'am, one of them does."

"W -Wel-ll, h-how d-do y-you t-turn it off?"

[fred]

Dear Mr North

On behalf of channel four may I thank you for your application submitted on behalf of your wife for our new reality show. Also the charming photograph you enclosed. Whilst agreeing that she could make a worthy contribution to the program if selected, I would point out that the correct title of the series is Fact Hunt.

[fred]

[fred]